Lingering Grief

Hi, Angela, Look sooner or later we are sure to lose the elders or the older in the family and we must be prepared mentally that this is a natural phenomenon. It is really painful to lose some body so close to your heart and soul. But what can we do possibly? We are not in the position to hold back the swift foot of the time. Like you I too have lost my dear mother three years back. Sometime when I think my childhood days that I would never leave my mother's companion. People would tease me as the tail of my mother. Mow when I feel that she is no longer there to reply some of my curiosity that I had in my child hood. She is not there and I am left. I really miss my mother. But the reality is that TIME is the great healer of all wounds you received. So relax and with their fond memory lets look deep into the root of life and accept the inevitable.

Hello my friend zandi458 Ji, It is very true that "Souls departed get rid-off worldly pain, but at the same time leave behind a dep scar on the life of their near and dear ones". In your case, it is dominating more, as you open court file day to day. There is no heal up process. Everytime, you need advise, you remember your father. This is irony of our living an dwe have to bear with that.Let Justice come to your parents and sooner memory will be faded away. I sincerely feel and share your feelings. May God bless you and have a great time.

Every one greives in different ways my dad been gone 16 years and I still wish he was here so we could have our long talks when I go up there to visit. I hope your mom wins! My hubby has been gone for 4 years and took me a very long time before I could talk about him without crying. getting better at it now. But boy what a hole it has put here for us not haveing him around.

first of all i'm sorry about dad. as for getting over their deaths u naver do. time just helps to make it more acceptable. i lost my mother, dad & my only aunt in 2008 so i can realate to what u are saying. i didn't get along well w/my parents,to me that makes it worse . i still have angry feelings at both of them that will never be resolved & will never go away for me. i hope everything turns out good for you in court. wish it had been settled before your dad passed away. good luck.

I don't know that we ever do. Once we suffer such a loss it sometimes is never the same. I don't think I have been. My grandmother passed around the same time you said your father did and sometimes I miss her so much I can hardly stand it. No more advice...no more uplifting talks. She tried to prepare me..she knew..I just have a really tough time without her. She was all I knew for a long time. She was on my side. I try ton remember her words and sometimes it helps me. I try ro remember what she taught me which is not so hard. I remember her and try and pass on her teachings to my girls. I do things I know she would approve of. These are the ways I cope. Best wishes.

Hi Zandi, i had been through this kind of situation myself, when i was still a very young girl. So, i understand how's your feeling at this moment. My beloved grandfather had passed away due to a lost battle against his abdomen cancer. I felt that i had lost something very precious at that very moment and i just couldn't believe it. Whenever i saw the toys that he bought for me, i will start to remember him and that makes me very sad and cry and even sometimes i just don't have mood to eat for days. Years after years had passed by, i finally able to overcome my sadness. Now,he had been leaving us for more than 10 years..Hope you will be able to overcome your sadness, too..

I find keeping oneself busy and occupied stops the mind from wandering. Practicing self control helps to keep unbidden thoughts of sadness at bay. And surely, praying to your heavenly father will ease your pain...will he not do this for you?

I wish I knew the answer to your question. I lost my dad back in 2004. I'll never get over him.

I'm not sure if you ever get over missing people close to you Zandi. My dad passed about 14 years ago, and I still miss him. He was such a pillar of strength to me and there are so many times that I wish I could talk to him. My mother passed a little over 4 years ago, and we used to talk on the phone so much that I still daily find myself thinking, "I have to tell mom that"...and then I remember that I can't. It's very much a gap that while it may get smaller over time, it never goes away.

Sorry to know about the loss of DAD,I do understand ur pain,, and as a matter of fact there might not be any greater pain in this physical world than that of a loss of a parent,sister,brother etc,,as we do get attached to our loved ones,,more so with MUM and DAD,as they are the ones we know from the beginning ,,but then again,,what can a person do , all we can do is say a little prayer,, That game is God's game and only he wins,,

Hi zandi458! My heart goes out to you! I, too, have experienced loss to our Lord Jesus Christ. From both sets of materal and fraternal grandparents, to an aunt with cancer to a younger sister with a brain aneurism, to my husband (he was 38 and passed very unexpectedly) to my mother of emphysema 3 years ago. Now her brother (my uncle) is on hospice with emphysema, too and not expected to be with us much longer. This may sound strange, but I am still grieving over two dogs whom I loved very much. I left a beautiful yellow lab with a friend (with her agreement) until I could find a place to live for my son and I only to find out she turned Shasta over to the Humane Society before we could get settled. The second was a gorgeous white boxer (Suzy Q) who was deaf and 4 mos. old, so she was a little wild, but I felt that given a little time, I could've trained her. As it turned out, tho, I went into the hospital for an extended stay and when I got home, I expected loves and kisses and instead met with the news that the person I rent a room from had called the Humane Society and had them haul her away. It is so painful to wonder what both dogs thought as they were being dragged away. Did they believe I betrayed them? Were they put down? What happened to them? You see, losing my dogs gives me a tangible anger to put my finger on; all of the other deaths, I can't blame anyone or anything on except it was their time to go. Yes, I got angry, yes, I blamed God, but I was driving myself crazy! I made the decision to begin grief counseling and for all the ups and downs, it felt like freedom after many sessions. I take a mild anti-depressant (my only concession to my grief). Today, I have many more up days than down days and I feel free of most of the grief. Grief becomes a part of you (unfortunately), much like breathing. You get so used to it, you don't even notice it anymore. It never goes away -- it just fades to a point where we are not tortured by it anymore. I do suggest, however, that you get some grief counseling. It helped me and I believe it might help you, too. God Bless You!

Having lost my father in 2001 to chronic lymphocytic leukemia (he was only 50), I can only tell you that the pain lessens with time. It never goes away. I will be sitting somewhere and something will make me think of him and I will still cry. No one on this earth knew me better than my father. I am so much like him, we could complete each others sentences. I am a scientist; so was he. I am a daddy's girl, all the way. It does get easier, girl. Hang in there. And when you have to grieve, then grieve. It also helps to talk to people about it. I have found that the more I talk about it, the easier it gets. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you comfort, and eventually, peace.