Do you need to be in the" in crowd" to feel cool?

Sir, I am giving more respect to you because you are absolutely right, ya even I also feel that to be part of group or crwod we can't behave like others,it is like you don't like to do but you are doing becasue you want those friends. I hate this. this kind of relation are not loglasting. you know in many social site people just add someone & increst their numbers to show that they are famous & they have lots of friends. but I always say my friends that believe in quality not quantity.

For me its not atall neccessary to be in a crowd to feel cool or popular.Infact being in crowd who gets to know you. Following blindly what others do will lead you nowhere.So just be yourself and keep away with the crowd.

Well I guess it's important for insecure kids to find a social niche and try to fit in and be cool. I never cared about people like this when I was a kid or teen. I was too busy being absorbed into my hobby's, craft's,reading and listing to music when I was young, then when I got older I was really into dancing. I naturally found people who I had things in common with . But I never did things to try to be cool, I just did things I liked and found interesting, infact I lost so-called friends on and off over the years because I didn't want to do the things they thought were cool.Like I use to have friends that use to talk bad about me because I didn't feel like hanging out with them every night getting drunk and acting stupid, they thought I was weird and antisocial because I sometimes like to stay in my bedroom for hours reading books and listen to music. Some people do some things for all the wrong reasons because they feel they have something to prove to the world or to themselves because they are full of social insecurities. I may have a few good friends now in my life now but I know they will be there for me when I need them.I'm not into fake friends and people who are friends with me for all the wrong reasons.I got better things to do then waste my time with fake immature people who act like that!

I strongly agree to what you have said. not because it's right, but because i had experience being part of the crowd. to be honest, it was never cool to be in the first place. it's either you feel stupid or intimidated by others wanted you to be part with.. but now, am more of myself. some are teasing or insulting me behind my back but that's fine because am over it. .

certainly not, you can be a coolest person in the world without this popular crowd, as for me, i rather choose to be there in my few true friends that teach you to be a good person, help you in times of need, support you, than with the popular crowd who wants only something from you. its not nice.

I would have to say growing when I was younger I wanted to fit and be cool like other kids.. Later down the years I realized I am me I don't have to prove to anyone who I am be my self they don't like it I don't need them there not a true friend. If your not yourself and your trying to fit it can make you miserable because you can't really be who you are what you want to be. Because you are trying to be somebody you are not. It's not a good thing to do. Be your self people like that better any way.

No the crowd is really out of touch with an actual reality and they never really seem to have had a lot of stress or anything like that to deal with. They don't really know what life is all about and I don't really like being around people that only talk about cell phones and sports games and other stuff like that. This life is really short like they all say and I don't think focusing on material possessions is what we should be focusing on during our time here on earth.

You are right. When people are at a certain young age they need to feel that they are part of a certain crowd in order to feel good about themselves. I think as we grow up and become adults we all realise that actually its more 'cool' to be different and unique and stand out from the crowd. I guess it is a phase that we all go through though.

Ana- I can't say that I ever have. I'm not the "joiner", never was. I figure if people want to be my friend it should be because I'm a good friend, not because of what group or such that I belong to. It should be because we have mutual interests, etc. Seems to me that a lot of people, especially teens, are almost conditioned to be "in the crowd" from television, to just how the corporate world is designed. I would agree that the best anyone can be is true to their own self. To be who they are, and be the best person that they can be in the society they live in. Namaste-Anora

No i dont need to stick with the crowd to feel cool. i myself can be cool in many different ways.

heey :) hahah, well I don't find that "popular" people have bad attitudes. I think it's good to have alot of friends, but not necessarily just be in one crowd. I am true to myself, and because of it I have many friends from many different "cliques". its cool and fun and whatever to be in the "in crowd", but not if it means you become fake. I think that if you are yourself, the "cool" people notice that youre not a fake person, and if they have fake friends, theyre actually looking for someone true to be able to talk to on a reaal level. I used to be part of the fake crowd. but then over a few years I realized how absolutely stupid it was. I realized how much I was drifting away from the friends I had before, and how I didn't know myself. like, I had to try to find myself. its all good now, I found myself, and Ive made some really amazing friends. :) I try my hardest to be helpful and the nicest person I can possssibly be. but yeah, you definitely don't need to be in the in crowd to be/feel cool :) peace !

back when i was younger (high school/college), i dont join crowds and i dont follow what's "in". i just try to be myself and go against the flow. most of those crowds anyway have phony people in it, some you cant trust to be your friends. i am what i am, and i do what i want. im an easy going kind of person, "rugged" and "cowboy" as what they call me back then. even up to now. i hate those people that are pretentious... i stay away from them. i've made a lot of friends just by being "me".

I think it's about your self confidence. If you have it, you always feel cool. ;)

i guess not. its just a matter of how you look or feel about yourself. just like me, for example. i feel cool already when i am wearing my best shirt or whatever. its just this confidence that lets me feel cool about myself. i dont need other people to give me that feeling.hehe,tnx.

I've never had any desire to be in any "in crowd" since they were all usually idiots and self absorbed (two things I can't stand LOL) and I certainly have no desire or need to be in ANY crowd to this day at my age..

We can't entirely say that it is all about being cool or in or popular that draws people to a group. And it's a little awkward to impose to younger generations to choose this group or don't follow this crowd. As we all know, and have experienced in our own teenage years, this is actually the times when we are in the look for companionship, in search of a clique for belongingness so whichever can satisfy that void will certainly be the preferred crowd. In my opinion, what we should be cautious of, is the influence of the crowd or the people around us. Because no matter how wholesome our character is, if we take all the influences of the people around us, we will end up worse than we started by losing our own distinct identity. My idea of a cool person is a person standing out in a crowd and making himself an influence to reckon with. A character that knows when to say no.