Abortion: Do men have a say?
By Aprillynn1
@Aprillynn1 (225)
United States
April 24, 2009 2:27pm CST
I would love to hear the opinions of woman and men... First, I would like to begin by saying that I remain unbiased about the topic of abortion. I personally would never have an abortion but I would hold my best-friend's hand through the entire process if that is what she decided in her life.
Back to businessPersonally, I beleive the men deserve to know.... I don't think he should be able to vote FOR it.... But I think that he should be able to vote AGAINST it....
If a woman has become pregnant, I think that the father has rights to this baby--morally, if not legally.
What do you myLotters think?? Do you think that the father should have rights. Or do you think that this is entirely the right of the woman.
2 people like this
21 responses
@egdcltd (12059)
•
24 Apr 09
That's a tricky question. If I was a potential father, I would like a say in whether or not my child should be aborted. However, I wouldn't be the one who has to carry the child to term and give birth.
If the mother said yes to abortion, and the father no, it would be nice if the child could be transplanted to a surrogate mother. Which is probably pretty expensive unfortunately.
1 person likes this
@tzaddi (395)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
if i'm going to be a father, first of all i want to be one at the right age..üi think one of the main reasons for abortion to occur is when a couple does it and unintentionally the girl became pregnant..üand i think abortion is against the law..i think it's similar to a murder case..übecause you're killing a cell which we consider as a human being only, not yet in full growth..and also abortion crosses the lines of human ethics..üto make a long story short..NO to abortion!!üonly my opinion!!ü
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
24 Apr 09
First, let me say that I don't agree with abortion as a form of birth control just becaue other methods failed. When a couple hops into bed, they know what the potential results are and should be mature enough to deal with it instead of callously getting rid of their child.
I think that the father should have a say in the matter, after all, it is his child, too! A woman should never allow a man to pressure her into an abortion she doesn't want, though. If he's against it and she's for it, well, then I really don't know, that's a tough situation. Perhaps the best thing would be for her to have the baby and give up her parental rights and let the father raise his child.
It was just so much simpler back in the "olden days" when people got married and generally stayed that way, when kids were raised by one set of parents, and fathers were considered the head of the family, not an expendable accessory. Society is just too complicated today!
@Aprillynn1 (225)
• United States
25 Apr 09
I agree. We need to be more responsible. Many of these girls are so young that they don't even know what choices they are making.... They just take the easy way out.
@Babygirl813 (25)
• United States
24 Apr 09
I agree that men should have their rights. The child has half of their DNA and is half theirs so they have half the vote when it comes to the child... whether the child is already born or not. I also realize that there are some situations where this wouldn't be best for the child but most of the time that's not the case. The man should know and cast his vote on what should be done.
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
24 Apr 09
I received three document petitions in the mail yesterday that will go to the house. It was talking about how the people, Bush and Congress banned parial birth abortion, and that now 'the man' is for dropping that. It was the people's will, and he's for 'choice'. They put a sad illustration in there of exactly how it's done. It's so so sad. I've never been for partialbirth abortion. I mean, killing a child is not murder as long as you leave part of the head in before you suck out the brains. Wrong. It's just wrong. They don't get a sedative or anything. God bless our nation!
@skeeter_fleet (24)
• United States
24 Apr 09
Men absolutely ought to have a say. I am completely opposed to the idea that it is or should be a woman's choice alone. The woman had a choice when she put herself in a position to get pregnant. After that, it's no longer her responsibility alone. But that's based on a belief in what you said above, that we're talking about a baby. The way I see it, if it's a baby, then abortion is murder. If it's not, then the man's opinion is largely irrelevant. Because in this case, all the man is really being asked to decide upon is whether or not the woman has a medical procedure. And that isn't up to him.
1 person likes this
@somesh1984 (1295)
• India
25 Apr 09
This seems to be quite interesting post. In my personal opinion if the little one has got some future ahead and parents are ok to take the responsibility then only they should think of bringing the little one in this world. I might be looking too cruel here but thats the reality.
Secondly as there are lot of preventive measures in this technical booming era,people should not ideally land into such type of situations.
Personally Abortion is not a good thing but a very bad thing will be to bring the little one into this world and not talking care of him/her. If aborting for gender based biasing, it is completely narrow mindedness.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
25 Apr 09
It must be so horrible for a man if his girlfriend has an abortion that he doesn't agree with. It would probably give much stress to the relationship and the couple might split up. The man might be pro-life and really wish to become a loving father but his girlfriend is a career woman that sees her pregnancy as an inconvenience.
In my home country a lady can have an abortion up to 24 weeks pregnancy. If she does it will be her choice and the man will have no power to stop that happening. If the baby is born the his name can be put on the birth certificate and then he will have more rights.
The baby would say no to the abortion, the father might well say no as well but the mother has the right to have her baby aborted. I think that is sad for the baby and it is a shame a father is not allowed to decide to let his baby live. I would never have an abortion. I would not help a friend get one.
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I'm with you on part of it. I don't think I ever could either. I've got a daughter that'll be 1 in a few weeks and I know how I felt and what I went through during my pregnancy. Now that's not to say that I am anti-abortion. I fully support a woman's right to having a choice when it comes to her body. But could I ever have one? No. Probably not.
Men don't have a choice and should never have a choice. Men should never be able to force a woman to gestate a pregnancy against her will. Even if he wants the fetus, it's still the woman's body. If the woman wants to abort, then fine. If she doesn't fine. But a man has no legal or moral right to force a woman to do anything else other than what she wants.
Now on the flip side of that coin, the men who want their women to abort should have the right as the father to opt out of the child's life. Opting out means no rights period and doesn't have to pay support. It's not fair for a woman to get pregnant and keep the child against the father's wishes and he has to be a father to a child he doesn't want. I believe that the man should have the legal right to forefit his parental rights and never have to pay support.
But like that's gonna happen.
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
25 Apr 09
I agree with you that the man should have to right to know but they definitely shouldn't have the right to vote on it or have any choice on the final decision. I don't understand why these rich old guys in congress get to decide whether abortion should be legal or not. They've never been raped by someone that has ruined their life and will haunt them forever. They don't have to carry around the seed of that man that haunts them. They aren't sixteen or younger and pregnant wondering how they will be able to take care of this new life that is inside of them. In the end I think it is solely the woman's decision but if the father will take care of the baby then it would be great for the woman to bring that baby into this world but still the man doesn't have to go through the physical pain of birthing a baby.
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
25 Apr 09
You like picky touchy topics don't you ;o)
Damn right the man has a say in it... either way. Just because he says he wants you to do it doesn't mean you should run down to the clininc and have it done - but it is his life as well as the womans, that is effected by this baby.
With my daughter, the father wanted me to have an abortion and I was not for that idea. He told me if I didn't then he never wanted to see me or the baby again... and I respected his wishes. That was MY choice to continue with the pregnancy after he voiced his opinion. His name is NOT on her birth certificate and I have never once contacted him for support. If he didn't want to be her daddy, he doesn't have to be. If I would have went to him and told him I wanted to abort her and he said no... we would have figured something out from there. Whether he took full custody of the baby or however we would have had to work it.
Abortion is a touchy subject - obviously. Some people believe strongly in it and some people believe strongly against it. As long as you know your comfort level with the idea and can maturely talk about it with the "other party" and make a mature decision on the whole thing, then I feel you should be able to do as you choose.
I really can't stand the women who don't tell the man about any of it. How would you feel if he killed your baby and didn't tell you about it??? Know what I mean?
@fionatan2009 (45)
• China
25 Apr 09
i am a conservative and only make love with who i love.so if i am pregnant when we all didn't get ready to have a baby,i will leave the baby for i love him and the baby is inculpable.but i think i am careful enough not to let this things happen
@james_gordon (42)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
Abortion!! in its real sense is really a sin. from mans law and from God. for me a child from the mothers womb have the right to live and enjoy the world. a child is a God's gift so it should not be aborted, no matter what happen in the life that awaits him/her.
@berrys (864)
• Singapore
25 Apr 09
i think if the mother of the child planned the child with the father than he has a say in it. but if it was accidental he has no say in it. cause the main reason why women who don't have children don't have a baby is cause they're not ready yet, there's just too much to do first before you settle down and have a baby. so it is kind of unfair for it to just be thrown to her cause she didn't want it in the first place and therefore the man should have no say in it.
@soren1 (66)
•
25 Apr 09
I think both legally and morally the final decision can only ever be made by one person, and that can only be the woman. However, I do think there's a double standard concerning issues of parental responsibility. Recently I was reading a problem page, where a young man had written in because his girlfriend was pregnant and he didn't want to be a parent. The reply was predictably uncompromising - "it's too late, you already are a parent". Of course it was right to point out to him the situation was now beyond his control, but do you think a woman in that situation would have been told "you already are a parent"? Personally, I suspect she'd have been told "you're not a mother until there's a child. For now there's only a foetus". A rather convenient mental flip!
@mira91 (985)
• Singapore
25 Apr 09
Yea, afterall, the baby is made by both the man and the woman so i say, the man has a right to a vote in this decision for an abortation. And i really feel sorry for those women who keeps it from their boyfriend just so they wouldn't get dumped. These women are pathetic and even if i am unbiased with this issue myself, i'll certainly have a hard time restraining myself from giving those women a slap to reality if i ever come across any. If the fathers are the ones that backs out, then i'd understand if the woman wants one..=\
@cobra1368 (702)
• United States
25 Apr 09
It depends on the situation. If it was a case of rape, then no, the father definitely does not need to know. If the couple were married and the woman wanted an abortion, I definitely think the father should be informed. If it was a good relationship (but they weren't married) and the man wasn't a complete jerk, then I think it would be nice if he knew, but ultimately it is the woman's decision. She is the carrier of the child and should be able to decide at any time if she does not want to carry it.
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
25 Apr 09
This is a subject that has been on many of the talk shows as of late. Women have all the power, they can make the decision to keep the baby then the dad has to pay child support even if he would have rather she had an abortion and did not want to be a father, He has no say so in the matter and must be a father because she chose to continue the pregnancy.
If she wants the abortion he is out of luck again. It is her body and he has no right to tell her no you can not have the abortion I want to raise the baby.
Should men the dads have a say so. Yes they should. They should be able to have these children and raise them if they want to be a dad. But this goes against Roe VS Wade it is her body she has the right to make the decision.
I do not think this will ever be a question that can be answered in an easy way.