My Grandfather Is Dying...
By zeloguy
@zeloguy (4911)
United States
April 25, 2009 11:55pm CST
My grandfather is dying. My last grandparent. He has a degenerative disease of the heart and we all know that it is a matter of time before he passes on.
He was a stern and stong man and he remains so until the end. We have all said our goodbyes and have all cried tears of joy and of sorrow yet he refuses to give in.
I have received two calls that he is about to die and have driven like hell to get to his bedside just to see him struggle on for another day.
I don't know how to feel... I feel like if he would just close his eyes and join his loved ones in heaven he would feel so much better than the struggles he is going through right now.
Another side of me says that is so wrong to feel that way.
I am saddened but I am also confused about my feelings.
4 people like this
6 responses
@ElicBxn (63652)
• United States
26 Apr 09
My mom is losing ground to dementia, they've told us that sooner or later she will even forget how to even swollow. I hate seeing her like this, it is breaking my heart. I know how you feel, in some ways I don't want to lose my mother, but I hate watching her lose ground inch by inch.
I tell people that I want to go out in a mega stroke, all at once, I don't want to suffer like this.
3 people like this
@zeloguy (4911)
• United States
26 Apr 09
Yeah my grandfather has already lost the ability to swallow. Water is given to him on a sponge on a stick (looks like a popcicle) and then we can wet his lips and his tongue.
Really tough situation but it has brought the family together and I guess that is a silver lining to all this.
Thanks
Zelo
Zelo 3 people like this
@GardenGerty (161080)
• United States
26 Apr 09
I was told by Hospice that as they begin the process, and forget how to swallow that in response to less or no food and water the body produces more endorphins which makes them more peaceful and in less pain. My first nursing home job, Elic, I worked with a lady who went through that process my first two weeks. They gave her anxiety meds with suppositories, and kept her mouth moistened. One of the things I did for her, that she seemed to like was to rub her dry arms and legs with a lovely sweet smelling lotion. She liked that.
2 people like this
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
It's the time we're sorry about but glad knowing how much we love our parents and granparents. Though we're aware the're going to a much better place but quite hard for us to see them go. Just pray to God for him to go lightly and be in peace.
1 person likes this
@Aprillynn1 (225)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Oh, I am so sorry to hear you that you are going through this; Just as sorry as I am to say that I have been through this more than once. I know exactly what you mean when you say "mixed feelings". When you are watching someone go through the end of thier life like that part of your heart can't handle to see them go, and the other half hates to watch them struggle another day. Just tell him that you love him as many times as you can. Bless his soul.
1 person likes this
@Aprillynn1 (225)
• United States
27 Apr 09
But, I forgot to add, that thier is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. You are human. You don't want to watch him struggle. It is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. Again, let me say that I am so sorry to hear.
@zeloguy (4911)
• United States
2 May 09
Thanks I appreciate that. I have all four grandparents that are gone now. Each went in their own way and all lived full and rich lives and I have to be thankful that I had them all when I was growing up 'cause there are many who don't have that opportunity.
Thanks
Zelo
Zelo @qiurijingling2007 (50)
• China
27 Apr 09
I am sorry to hear that.I kown you are struggling now,refusing to accept the fact that the relative had left you.But you can take another angle,Grandfather did not endure the pain of the disease like before,and now he may talk with god.Hope you get better slowly.
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Have you told your grandfather that it is okay if he is ready to just to let go? My daughter told my oldest sister that and not many minutes she passed on. I am not saying everyone will but after working in facilities and losing so many of my family in a short while it seems they do. Tell him you love him and it will hurt you to see him go but you want him to be free of any pain and worries. If he is a Christian man then just maybe he is in the process of making sure he is right with his God. But please let him know you love him. Not knowing you or your family, I do not know how you are about saying those three little words, "I Love You" but try them on and see how how they work. God bless you and help you with your pain and the loss you sre already feeling.
