Past due loan to my sister ......
By pal7604
@pal7604 (98)
Sweden
April 26, 2009 12:43pm CST
What can I do when my sister is unable to pay a past due loan?
I have loaned my sister quite a big amount of money since 2005.
I need the money back because I have a long due bank loan.
My credit score has been ruined due to this.
She promised to pay me back within 2 years.
Now that I really need her to pay, she needs to sell a piece of land
that her husband owns.
The sale has not yet been materialized due to fthe financial crises.
I have tried to call her and she does not answer me since they can see my tel nbr.
I am both sad and angry at my situation.
I am paying a high interest rate to the bank loan.
I do not know what to do! Do you have any suggestions?
I need help!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@esley70 (5)
• United States
5 May 09
Your sister sounds like a selfish individual. You went out of your way to loan her this money, and this is how she thanks you??? What bothers me is that she couldn't give you the courtesy or respect of answering the phone when you call. If she didn't have the money, she should have told you so. I'm sure you two would have worked something out. You'll need to sit her down and talk to her. Let her know that you helped her out when she needed you, and now she needs to return the favor. She needs to either get a part time job or go to the bank and apply for a personal loan so that she can pay you back. If your sister keeps avoiding you, you may want to consider taking her to court. I know that this sounds cruel, but think about what she's doing to you!!! One more advice--please don't ever loan her money again.
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
22 May 09
Dear esley70,
I suppose she is selfish at this point.
I am so upset at this point I do not know what to write anymore.
We do not live in the same country which makes it more difficult!
No more loans to anyone in the future.
I have learned a hard lesson in life.
I will refer persons who wants to loan to a bank instead.
Thank you for your replying and advice.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
29 Apr 09
That is a hard call, it is family, but she is treating you disrespectfully by not taking your calls. Perhaps a change of approach is in order. I think it is pretty obvious that she does not have the money to pay you back until this land sells which could take a long time in this economy. However, I am sure she could afford to pay you a little bit at a time. Tell her you realize she can not pay all of the money back to you right now, but ask her if there is a monthly amount she is comfortable paying to you towards this loan. Then make an agreed upon date for her to pay it every month. Then say everyday on the first of every month you need to pay me such and such amount. Then once she sells the loan she can pay you the balance. Getting something back slowly is better than not getting anything at all, and you can start to pay down your loan as well. Start to pay back this loan yourself as much as you can too, don't wait for all of the money from your sister, she might not have that full amount for some time, but hopefully she will at least try to repay you a little at a time.
When it comes to lending money to friends and family with financial problems I only give them what I can easily afford to lose. People who are in financial trouble almost never get out of it any time soon. I have never lent out money and actually gotten it back. The best advice I can give you for next time, is to not lend money, give it if you can, but don't expect to get it back, if you do get it back great, but experience tells me that people who have to borrow money because of financial problems seldom ever seem to be able to get caught up enough with their own finances to ever be able to pay it back.
Best of luck to you, I hope you and your sister will be able to work this out without having to go the legal route.
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
22 May 09
Hi ladym,
Yes indeed, it is a hard call.
I have tried many ways of collecting even small amounts.
Unfortunately, still no luck.
I am just freaking out everyday without any results.
I won't go legal on this but it is so heart breaking!
Thank you for your reply.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
26 Apr 09
..Take her to small claims court!
No, not really. But you should continue to be persistent to her and her husband, and remind them that you absoulutely NEED the money. Leave them message after message, go to their home and confront them that way, etc. It's just as much of her husbands' responsibility as it is hers (when you're married - you share finances) and hope that she finally comes to her senses and gives you the money you need back.
Did you have her sign any kind of contract in writing about what you loaned her?
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
27 Apr 09
This is the sad part of it, we have any piece of paper!
Well I am to blame as well because I trusted her being my sister.
I do leave messages on skype, e-mails and answering machine.
But no initiative from my sister's end to contact me.
Thank you for your advice and response.
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