Forgetting, not an easy task!!!!
By John4Christ
@John4Christ (1597)
India
April 26, 2009 12:44pm CST
I happen to listen to a preacher speak about forgiveness few days back......and he said that we should forgive everyone that has hurt us in anyway......so that your father in heaven will also forgive you for what you have done wrong....i started recollecting as much as i could and in no time i had a list ready.....i was finding it really very difficult as some of my friends had hurt me very badly, it was all so unforgettable......but still i went ahead and forgave them in my mind.......the moment i was done i was so happy and the feeling I was getting was so very good....it gave me a strength of new level.....but somewhere i forgave them but am not able to forget few incidents completely........
Have you ever had difficulty in forgiving someone????
Do you feel it is really difficult to forgive and forget things????
3 people like this
14 responses
@subha12 (18441)
• India
27 Apr 09
Look I think it is very easy to say for some great people.But for simple persons like us, it is not that much possible. I know a person, whom I thought my so called best friend, cheated me big time. I can never forget what he did or forgive him.
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
Thanks for your honest response subha12.......I feel the so called great persons were also simple human beings like us.....they did something extraordinary that's why they are called great people.....somewhere even we can become great if only we try....just a thought though.......
1 person likes this
@krayzietam (832)
• United States
26 Apr 09
You know, this post really touched me because I just came from church today and the preacher spoke on something similar. He said that we should still do good to those who call themselves our enemies and intentionally hurt us. We should always remember that we reap what we sow and to never judge others. Oftentimes, it is so hard to forgive people who we don't like, but it is even harder to forgive people that we call our friends. It is very hard but we must do it because holding grudges or malice will not enhance our relationship with God, it will only deter it. In order to be in that place with Him, we should constantly forgive. Sometimes, it will be hard to forget, but you can't necessarily help that. We are human and that is just how it is sometimes. As long as you don't feel any ill feelings toward the person then I think that things are fine. Also, remember that God gave us wisdom. You can forgive a person, but that doesn't mean you need to put yourself in the position again for them to harm you. You can associate genuinely but you don't have to be friends. Great post. Yours In Christ. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
1 person likes this
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
I am glad that you like this discussion......i like your idea of forgiving people and not necessarily to put ourselves into the position again for them to harm us.....thank you for responding......
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
26 Apr 09
Yes forgiveness is wonderful and it closed the doors on hatred and open one heart to love but there are times when we say that we forgive and then continue murmured on the things that happened. How does not really forgive others. This does not happen over night neither does it happen instantly. We have to practice it and I am glad that you have taken the steps ohttp://www.mylot.com/images/emotes/happy.giff doing this. Keep it up![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
Thank you so much for those encouraging words.....and I agree with you that this cannot be achieved over night....it needs to be practiced before you can reach at the level where you can forgive and forget easily.....thanks for responding.....
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
I have forgiven a relative but am not in speaking terms with her. When we got a chance however to be at the same place in our home town and got the same ride in going home. she did everyting to talk to me. Though I completely disregarded her and erased her in my longlist of relatives and just feel she does'nt exist, the moment she talked to me and I answered back, I feel relieve and thou I claimed I had forgiven her though not forgetting what unpleasant words she said, at this moment I thank God. I only not forgive but totally forget everything she did.
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
Hey that's so good to know about you......well do you speak to that relative now after forgiving ?????
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
I am the type of person who don't easily forgive and forget. When people hurt me, I can forgive them after a few months, sometimes, even years.But not immediately or after a few days. It really is hard for me to forgive people. Also, it is true for me that time heals all wounds. I can forgive but I cannot forget, try hard as I might and as much as I want to. There are just some things that one cannot really forget, even for a lifetime. For me, it is more important to forgive than to forget. Forgiveness is what matters most and not forgetting.
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
I also feel the same about you....but don't you feel that if we don't forget things we have not forgiven that person because we keep thinking about that incident over and over again......just a thought though.....thanks for the response.....
@Hedwig (283)
• China
27 Apr 09
I think that the difficulty to forgive and forget depends on the hurt you sufferred.
There is only one person that I can't forgive. He was my classmate in senior high school. I dont want to mention the way he hurt me. But I have to say I was deeply hurt at that time and even now ,after several years, everytime I recall that period of time, the memory still hurts me. Maybe I still need some time to forgive him and forget that hurt I sufferred.
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
I too agree with you my friend that sometimes we need more time to forgive people.....some of them have hurt us so bad that it really takes a loong time to forgive and forget.......thanks for the response.....
@Margajoe (4709)
• Germany
28 Apr 09
Of course it is difficult.
Forgiving is the easy part. But forgetting.
On the other hand I think it is good not to forget.
If you keep forgetting, how are you suppose to learn?
Because you don't forget, you protect yourself from getting
hurt again in the future. There is nothing wrong with that.
Forgiving is easier, but can in some cases take time.
When you cannot forgive, it can make you sick. Trauma, stress, depression ect.
Whether a believer or not, it is always better to forgive.
Take care, have a nice evening.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
26 Apr 09
This a very complex question.
I always forgive and try my best to forget the persons who has hurt me.
At times it comes back in my mind and I become sad remembering the past.
But this does not mean that I am unable to forgive them.
The scar left in my heart is there and I guess time will erase it.
This is normal as a human being right?
One thing I promised mysel 4 days ago, I have been very sad for the past 5 yrs and I don't intend to continue with this sadness! I will be happy no matter what it takes!
I owe this to myself to feel much better for these past years.
I cannot keep on dwelling anyhow on the past. I might as well accept, forgive & forget right? It will take time but I have decided to be hppy now!
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
28 Apr 09
Actually, I must admit that it is very difficult to give forgiveness to people who hurt you terribly, but I've learned also that it takes a lot of wisdom before you can do this, so I always seek God's guidance and blessings in order to do this, and somehow, I can be able to forgive somebody, though it is very hard to forget, I am offering everything to God, so that it will be very easy for me to handle things.
@becdmd (704)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
It's really hard to forgive if you can't let all the bitterness in your heart go away..if we forget the past and move on...even if it's a process, we can forgive someone. In my experience, I find it really hard to forgive a person, I have bitterness and can't be happy, it seems as if all my system were affected, so I forgive a person less than a week, I don't want to bear the anguish or pain for so long because it really affects my relationship with God also, I can't praise and worship Him freely. (^_^)
@jellymonty (2352)
•
26 Apr 09
Forgiving someone is not an easy task whether they are your enemy or not. It is one of the hardest thing one can ever do and yet it also very worth it. Most of the people that I recall that have hurt me are actually people who call themselves my family and friends.. My father was an abusive father to my mum and to us his kids so it took years for me to finally forgive him. My sister, my own flesh and blood, cheated on me with my then boyfriend. I did not see or speak to her for three years but eventually I had to let go of my anger and bitterness. So forgiving is always difficult that's why we need God in us so that we have the strength to do so..
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
27 Apr 09
It is so sad to hear about your family......well i think that atleast i did not had to go with all these things.....you made me realize that there are many people here who have gone through much more worst things in life and still had the courage to forgive.....thank you so much for responding....
@luckyattraction (268)
•
26 Apr 09
Forgiving is easy, forgetting is not. And we must not forget so that we remember our mistakes in order to avoid making them again and again. From every experience, we have something to learn, something that helps us grow into a better human being.
I agree with you. You do feel lighter once you have decided to 'let go' (or forgive). Because you are no more carrying the burden of those emotions.
@junojose (43)
• India
27 Apr 09
To forgive a person who has done something bad to you is a great thing.It is because most of the people dont have a mind to forgive if they had get hurt.It would remain in their mind like an everlasting wound that can't be healed.They never know that they can heal it themselves and that the only medicine is forgiveness.
@melonsbrain (28)
• United States
26 Apr 09
There are some things from my childhood that have taken me years to forgive those who offended then. There are other times when it has taken me a couple days to forgive someone too. But I always forgive them, no matter how long it takes. The harder part for me is forgetting. Some things just can't be forgotten no matter how hard I try. Yet, I know that with forgiving them, those situations don't have a hold over me like they used to.
![](/Content/images/loading.gif)