When Your Friend is Sick........

Hello my friend zandi458 Ji, Without any further formalities, I would narrate our experience. We left our home-town after staying fr almost six months with family of our elder son on 18th April to leave our daughter at her In-law's house as She was supportive to our assignment for second delievery of our elder DIL after a gap of 8 yrs. Everything went well. As I came back after leaving her, I was informed that same our elder son met with serious bike accident skidding his bike between two running state buses in Delhi. After we got immediate reservation . We reached on 30th and he was operated for his multi injuries at Rt. Knee, left Wrist and chin. Operation lasted for more than 8 long hrs. After our son came to concious, he just felt my hand and whispered to keep our hands on his fore-head. It was a great therphy. I would say that you visit your ailing friend and after touching her fore-head, whisper to her, that She would be Ok, you are there to support. I further believe to Visit patient at hospital, who never gets any visitor, than going to any worshipping places at regular intervals. May God bless you and have a great time.

Well, being around to chit chat with your friend may help. And if she is willing to talk about her condition, you can even learn a thing or two about her sickness. Otherwise, another way is to start a blog for her. Sort of like a diary to keep track of her thoughts. And if possible, seek out people who are suffering similar ailments to chat and share their experiences with her. That way, she will not feel she is alone in her battle to a better health. Hope it helps.

Whether or not you extend touch depends on how the recipient feels about touching. You can always ask "Do you need a hug". You can simply ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" or say something like "Would you like me to brush your hair?" She will let you know.

BEing around is good be helpful help with house work wash clothes as I had friends to do that for me and was a great comfort to me. If she needs to sleep alot let her . Some people like to be loet alone when they dont feel food. You should know this about your friend. And ya can do or say things to make her smile maybe not laugfh for laughing can make the hurt hurt.

hi zandi, i'm surprised at you. as good as u are w/words i would have thought you'd always know what to say. i had a childhood friend who got cancer a few years ago & she honestly went through hell. i think one of the greatest things you can do is listen to them & let them talk if they want to & need to & i think they do. i did alot of things for peggy such as cook, clean her house, take her to the dr. just whatever she needed me to do. she felt free to cakk & ask me to do whatever she needed & that made me proud. u can do this to because u are a kind person.

hai zandi.many of us feel insupportive in a situation when our friend seeks mental or intellectual support. it does not mean the lack of deepness of friendship. actualy we don't know what is the best way to console him/her or to handle that situation. so being silent, just spreading a supportive hand can recover our friends pain and make him/her exhilarant. but i am also doubtful, should it be recognised as best. have a nice day.

Hi Zandi, It is the ability of some people to pacify others when are they are in trouble. I think all people can’t do it. I am also like you if I know the real problem and it’s after affects I can’t make others comfortable because I also become worry about the situation. My sister-in-law (brother’s wife) she is very sensitive but I really appreciate her talent to make comfortable her friends and relatives even when she is having more pain inside. According to her, it is our duty to give some courage and if we say some good words it will be really soothing for them. She must be right but what to do if we are not in a position to give some relax.

It is important to BE THERE. You don't have to be all entertaining and talk with her for hours. You just have to SHOW that you do care and the best way to do that is to show her that you're spending time with her. She knows you can't do anything to speed up her recovery, but you can do something to make her time being ill so much more comfortable by simply being a friend :) bring a movie and watch together. Give her a hug, touch her head, fix her hair - all of these are very meaningful gestures. I've been sick many times and have spent a lot of time being confined in hospitals for different reasons, I loved it best when friends came over to say hi :) Thanks for the response on my discussion!

Hi zandi. My mother in law was sick with cancer last year and before we went to visit her I too wondered what to do or say. When I got to her bedside I gave her a warm hug and sat with her. I explained to her how much I care and that I was praying for her and that I would be there for her every step of the way and help her with anything she needed and if she wanted to talk all she had to do was call me. I told her all this as soon as I arrived and from then on I visited her and treated her normally always making sure I gave her a hug or held her hand. Sometimes she talked other times she didn't but she knew I was there and I pray that I was of some comfort for her I think it is wrong not to talk about the illness, I think in my case it helped to get it out in the open and speak about it straight away, I feel that paved the way for my mother in law to feel comfortable sharing her feelings about it whenever she needed to. A massage or holding a hand can make a huge difference to a person who is in pain.

Apart from prayers,we have to be near them,telling soothing words,giving hope for a speedy recovery and talk about nice things which would make forget the pain for the time being.We shall not show our fears or sadness by which they will get discouraged.Just make them feel better in your presence.Cheers!

I will just say, "God is good, He won't give you something you can't bear, just keep your faith, and well pray together." Hold her hand and give her a kiss on the forhead or cheek.

At this time,what she want most is have her firends companied,when she get sick,the biggest fear is not from her body hurt,but from the loneness.If without friends' comfort or company,she might feel deserted,that's really horrible for her.So you should do as you said,give her a hug,a warm touch,or only silent stand staring at her.

when my friend is sick i can't do any work properly because i gave more importance to friendship.i will share everything with my friend.my friend will gave me appropriate solution when i am in a difficult situation.i will pray for her to recover from sick.

how she,and what caused her condition to your misunderstanding and perhaps i can not understand a sick person, only that i am sorry,but the disease may cause patients irritability,may allow patients need more care,perhaps you busy there is no time to accompany,it is contradictory,is not it,but there is keep in mind that your heart did not leave her

I'm a care-worker and have also just nursed my husband through his last 4 months with cancer. Sadly he didn't make it. The best advice I can give you is to visit her, ask how she feels and if there is anything she needs doing and then treat her as you normally do. Talk about things you normally would, if you normally hug her then give her a hug. If that isn't possible because of the site of her pain then just hold her hand even if it's only for a few minutes. Your being there will be enough for her to know that you care, whereas too much 'sympathy' could make her feel depressed. It's far more depressing for her though if her friends avoid her, or 'pretend' by saying nothing that all is well. This just makes them feel isolated and alone. Just be yourself zandi, I'm sure thats all she really wants.

Hi! zandi, Its really bad to know about your ailing friend, hope everything gets fine soon dear.I understand,the dellima! you get into when a near and dear one is sick.Go ahead and hug her,extend a hand...you need not worry. Its just that you are a bit nervous . Once you extend your arms to her you will feel easier to communicate with her, believe me. Take some flowers and fruits too , to cheer her up. I pray for her steady recovery.......Take care and lets know what happened there.

Hi zandi~ I think that it would be alright for you to give your friend a hug and to let her know how you feel. There is nothing wrong with hugging someone! You can never have to many hugs! You are right that a touch can do many things! You would be surprised how much it might cheer her up knowing that you are there for her just by one little gentle touch of the hand and a hug. When I was in the hospital last summer, none of my friends came to visit me because I was in the "wrong" hospital and it was inconvenient for them to get there! I was so hurt! I will never forget that! They called me on the phone, but that wasn't the same! Only my boyfriend came to see me. It would have been so much better for me if they had just come to see me and given me a hug, just once! I spent the week looking out the window and just waiting to get better to go home. Just go give your friend a hug please~

Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen, then you can get clues about what your friend wants to talk about. She knows you just want to be there for her, she doesn't expect you to be her healer, doctor or nurse, she may just want to hold your hand. Give her your time and attention and quit beating yourself up about it.

Letting friends know that you hope and pray for a speedy recovery, and touching are excellent places to start. Frequently just being with them and listening is the best medicine. Inside of the person suffering is still the same living, thinking, feeling person you've always cared about.

I will touch only if she will allow me to touch,, the words I will use ,, Let me rub a little bit,, I know it will help a little,I am accustomed with a little massage,, don't feel bad,, I know I can help,,Then it is up to her to say yes or no,,once there is a muscle pain u cannot rub too hard ,, all of us know that,, soft warm water soaked cloth can help too,,and a cup of my tea sure helps,,,