Friendships fade and some can never be sparked again....
By OceanZealot
@OceanZealot (484)
United States
May 1, 2009 9:00pm CST
Recently I have had a couple of friendships that have faded away. In both friendships I have found that they are self centered people. We used to hang out every day. I would always sacrifice things, time, and money for them. But when I needed them when I became disabled, they faded away. I rarely even get a check in phone call or text to see how I'm doing. I recently saw one of them and found no care or concern about my health. You could tell that there was distance and a little tension.
The way that he acted and the lack of effort he has put into our friendship has made me believe he really doesn't care anymore. He liked the fun, party planning, go all night, energetic girl; not the tired, aching, sleeping, medicated girl that is only good for a couple hours out of the day.
First, I have just moved past the friendship. Secondly, I have put lots of time and effort into trying to save our friendship...now its their turn. I have enough going on in my life that I have learned that I can't rely or depend on them when I do need them.
I have decided that rather than be hurt to go with the fact that people sometimes enter and leave your lives for a reason. DO you believe this concept?
3 people like this
7 responses
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
2 May 09
It is a sad but true fact, that some friendships to grow apart. I have had many relationships like that in my life and it never gets easier. The only thing that you have to remember is that while you were being caring, they were selfish. You did nothing wrong and even tried to salvage the friendship so you have done your part. Just remember that your most important friend, is yourself. Blessed Be and Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
2 May 09
Yes, I believe in that concept. I have always believed too that friendship is a result of a person's own free will. Like in your case, you said that you have put on a lot of time and effort to save the friendship, and I think that's all you have to do. Pushing it would also not be good for your relationship. I think the best thing to do is wait. If the so-called friend comes back, then that would be nice. Maybe he just needs time to adjust to the changes, give him space. If he does not come back, then that's about it. Yes, people enter and leave for a reason, and in the past you were friends, you were happy and you had fun. Now it's time to concentrate on other friends who are still there and on people who are about to enter your life.
Take care, Ocean 
1 person likes this
@OceanZealot (484)
• United States
2 May 09
Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from. You are very right. I had no plans on pushing the friendship. As you said it gives me time to focus on other friendships, including the ones that are about to come.
Take care Raine, I look forward to more of your myLots.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
2 May 09
It is sad that you have such friends which incidentally I had some of them too. I just call these type of friendship as superficial ones. If I were you I would not bother much about them. They have abandoned you. So they are not worth crying over spilt milk. Just carry on in your life and I do hope that you make decent friends.
@OceanZealot (484)
• United States
2 May 09
Thanks for the response. You are right, these are superficial friends. I do feel abandoned...I hate to say that I have shed a few tears over these friends. But its over.
@costas1234 (195)
•
2 May 09
At high school I had a great friend where we would go to each others house and eat dinner, and play soccer in the park together. Coursework and revision of classes we would do well when we were together. However we had a fight and because of another class mate who was jealous himself, my friend sided with the other guy and would taunt us, so that I would end up hating my friend, until our special partnership came to an end. After our fight we never really re kindled our friendship and ever since that day things have not been really the same since.
@my_name_is_coco (4333)
• Philippines
2 May 09
You don't need fair-weather friends.friendship is a give-and-take relationship.one-sided friendships just hurts you and ruins your self-esteem.good friends are always at your side, in good,bad,sad,and fun times.
@OceanZealot (484)
• United States
2 May 09
You are so very right coco. These were fair weather friends, and I need to just focus on my self esteem and surround myself with true friends.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
2 May 09
Are you talking here about a group of friends of a particular friend? Either way, its true what you say and its definitely better to move on than carry a baggage of unfruitful relations. This has happened with me too in case of friends from my college days. We all were pretty thick alright and had good times. But then post marriage and family, we all seem to fade away just like that. Then one day one of them called up to ask for help for some business she was doing! I was like taken aback totally…even then I wanted to help her but my hubby put on the brakes
