to those of you who have lost your loved ones

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I'm 21 yrs old this year, when my grandmother passed away i was barely a yr old, and i can't remember ever meeting her. Since then i've never had any close relative of mine pass away. My grandfather, was a strong and happy old man. He'd go for walks and always hanging out w his bunch of old folks. Until recently he suffered from a stroke, his health went spiralling down and death was slowly but surely knocking on his door. As if not bad enough, our maid dripped super glue into his eyes which made him blind. From then on he wasn't the same person i used to know, he couldn't walk on his own, he was blind and bedridden, he would groan and scream in agony. He became senile and suffered from dementia and couldn't even remember my name. I couldn't even hold a simple conversation w him anymore. It is so heartbreaking and heart wrenching when you see your loved one suffering so much but yet you can't do anything. On wednesday however, he passed away. He was rushed to the hospital after the ppl at the nursing home realized he was unusually quiet. The doctors however couldn't revive him after his blood pressure went too low, and pronounced him dead. I remember vividly the call i received, hearing my mum's voice over the phone. I didn't even get to see him alive for the last time, let alone talk to him. The next i knew, i was standing in front of his frail and skinny body, wrapped in white cloth with a tag. The whole family was there and everyone was weeping and i couldn't help it too. It was my first time seeing a dead body, a corpse, my grandfather's corpse. Yesterday was the first day of the funeral and i would find myself walking over and staring down at his face inside the coffin very often. He looks so peaceful and white, but each time i look at his face i would tear, that's my first encounter with losing someone that i love.