Coping with a tensed brother-sister relationship

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This is something that has been going on for a long time in my family and I am not too sure if I ought to even worry about it (you'll see why). I have only one brother who is older than me by five years. He is married to a woman who is five years older than him and they have been married for ten years already. Before his marriage, we were quite close and loving - I have really fond memories of him planning great birthdays for me and my parents (things like treasure hunts, surprise parties and so forth). He would also give my mum and I gifts on Valentine's Day and such. While there are fights between my parents and him, it was mild and rare. After he got married, it's like he changed overnight. In the beginning when we were all staying together, it was understandable because he has a wife now and so forth. I have been very respectful towards my sister-in-law (SIL) and tried many times to talk to her, include her in stuff that I do even though she's 10 years my senior. But every time, she never says more than a word to me, rejects my invitations, hides in their room every day after dinner. She treats my parents no different as well. After they moved out, the change became more obvious. My brother stopped coming home and the visits dwindled to like once every three to six months even though they live ten minutes away. My SIL barely comes to visit with my brother, using work as an excuse (she was working as a senior journalist then). When my dad volunteered to fetch her home because my brother was out of state on business, she always says no and that she prefers taking the cab home. Being Asian, my parents are big on respect and manners so they expect my brother and SIL to greet them when they come home with a "Hi Mum". Before starting a meal, we were taught since we were kids to "invite" elders to eat first - somewhat the equivalent of wishing someone "bon appetit" before they eat. But since my bro got married, all this stopped and even my mum's cheeky strategies (asking me and my husband, then boyfriend) to do it didn't work. Now being the only son and the eldest of four grandsons, my parents were hoping that my brother would have children but around three years ago, after much beating around the bush, my brother finally admitted that he and my SIL didn't want children. No reason was given. That made my father quite angry and disappointed my mother but they accepted it anyway. Things got from bad to worse - whenever my father calls up my brother to ask for help with the computer (my bro has an IT degree), my bro comes over and lectures my father, calls him stupid and such. My dad is not a highly educated man, hardly works with computers and such. It got to the point where my parents prefer to send the computer to a shop for repairs and modifications than to be humiliated by my bro. He does the same thing to me as well - when he heard that I was going on holiday to Beijing on my own money, he came over and lectured me by saying that I was a spendthrift, that I was wasteful, that I should be more like him (buy a house when he's 30 and such). Never mind that I hardly go on holidays and that it's a backpacker style vacation for FOUR days. Never mind that he bought his house using money from my mother, and she even sponsored the renovation, the airconditioning units and such. When my hubby and I decided to get married, I asked him if he could be a witness at the civil ceremony. He say no and threatened to boycott the wedding because my hubby was jobless at that time. My dad was disappointed with him because when my bro got married, he was jobless as well and my parents were extremely supportive. We went ahead with it anyway (my parents were the witnesses) and I never got a word of congratulations from him or my SIL. From that time onwards, he never talks to my hubby except if he wants something from my hubby. The most obvious being this time when my bro's company had an event and he needed some help so he approached my hubby about it. My hubby was surprised because usually my bro doesn't talk to him except when he wants to interrogate my hubby. Throughout the whole event, my bro was ultra nice and after the event was over, back to square one - no talking, no smiling, no nothing. When I moved to Switzerland, I wrote back very often, sent postcards and stuff - no reply from my brother or my SIL. I still write and such...but I get no replies. Heh. When I got pregnant, no congratulations. When I had a miscarriage, no words of comfort. When I set up my online shop, he demanded that I sent money home to my mum for her pocket money. Never mind that HE himself doesn't give her any money. When I got pregnant again, no congratulations, no phone call, no nothing. Then out of the blue, one day after I announced that it was a girl and we had picked out names and such, he sends a message to me over Facebook, telling me (not asking) to include our family name in the baby's name. Meaning my daugther would have to carry my hubby's and my family name. When I rejected the idea nicely by saying that it would be too long (English name + Chinese middle name + hubby's family name), he insisted on the idea saying "no need to mention it, just put on paper so both family names will be there". That pissed off my hubby to the point where he said that if my bro wanted someone to carry the family name, then HE (not us) should have children of his own. Never mind all that. Recently, my bro and SIL went home to visit my parents. There was a guest present - a family friend. My bro and SIL just walked in, did their thing and left without greeting either my parents or that said family friend. This is something which my mum feels very strongly about. Later, my mother wrote to my bro to nicely tell him that it would be good if he and my SIL greet guests and family next time (only proper, it's good manners and such). The next morning, he called to scold her and refused to listen to any explanation or accept my mother's apology. My mum had to scream at him and hang up before he could even get the picture. My SIL on the other hand, wrote back to my mum with a very sarcastic reply and has yet to step foot in the house (it has been over three weeks). My brother later came back with some food like some token of apology and stuff...but without my SIL. The thing is this - with my bro and SIL's attitude, do you think they would treat my daughter any different? I'm 28 weeks pregnant and so far, my bro & SIL show no interest or sign of interest in my baby. I feel like telling my brother off but when I went through the idea with my parents, they mentioned that it would be like starting off World War 4 (World War 3 is what happened between my mum and him recently). Their exact words were that they have given up on my bro and SIL. I don't know what to make of it. Sometimes I get really sad because we used to be so close but after he got married, it's like I don't know him anymore. He is closer to his in-laws than us and such. The fact that my HB and his sister are close and more caring than he is makes it an ever more painful thing to think of. Should I just not bother like my parents or continue hoping (that he would change)?