How do you deal with difficult people?

mimpi, if I can sense that a person would be difficult, I would stop dealing with that person.THere may be other people who like challenges of this sort , but I would run away.I have better things to do than waste my time with a person who is difficult.If this difficult person happens to be your spouse or inlaws then arises the big question.Even there, keeping away should help.If it is spouse then I belong to the old school of thought--give in and once again tread warily.If it is someoneelse,inlaws,siblings,friends,relatives, anyone for that matter I try to avoid spending too much of time with them.Refusing to deal with these people is my way of dealing with them.

Hi! Mimpi! It is said that "when going gets tough, tough ones get going". It is not an easy task to difficult people because they could be difficult to any extent, for example, they may be discourteous, they may be stubborn, they may be shameless creatures, they may be impolite, they may be too talktive, they may be too reticent or they may be incorrigible and so on and so forth. I think the key to deal with abnormal persons is 'patience'. If one keeps his/her patience and do not lose his temper, one can win even difficult people. The moment you brust out and let your anger out, the other fellow gets more furious and it becomes difficult to handle the situation. When I face difficult people, I try my level best to keep my patience seeing that I have to stay/bear with that person and I do not have any other option. If I see that I can ignore the (irritating) person and have other options to escape the scene, I quietly do that. I do not believe in confrontations, which I think lead us nowhere.

i have seen such people in my work place and personal life also.one thing i have learnt is that i shouldnot try to change them,that will only make us lose our patience but then i donot allow them to take me for granted,i always try to assert my views.

Hello dear mimpi. If I find it hard to deal with difficult people, I usually leave them alone without bothering myself to be unhappy about it. Well, I have some students who are somewhat difficult sometimes, but if I criticize them in a proper way that makes them not think they are losing face, they will still listen to me without making trouble in my class. I usually walk up to them patting on the back and they know that I am urging them to behave without getting absent-minded in class or I just give them a look to hint that they are supposed to be attentive and then they will nod to me that they will do accordingly...This is how I deal with some difficult students in class. Of course I try to make friends with them after class to fill in the gap between each other. This way it makes the class teaching more easily and teacher-student relationship more harmonious. Thank you for the discussion, mimpi.

Hi Mimpi.....I dont have the patience or the attitude to deal with difficult people.I like it best when I am able to leave them alone,and get things done without interacting with them.But this is not possible when dealing with difficult relatives or friends.In such cases I pool in the help of other people who have close contact/influence on them ,and try to get things organised and done with the help of these mediators........Believe me it saves me a lot of head ache,and I am able to do what I want too in the process.........Just a little planning before hand is all that is needed..........

At work: Put shrimp in their chair frame and super glue the seat. They won't bother you for awhile and if they start again, you can smell them comming(LoL)! Sorry.;-P Seriously, it is part of the life-school that makes "US" be better "US"es. By learning and practicing kindness, not "tolerance", kindness, to those that are unpleasant, we develope so much more for those we do care for and that care for us. Each case/person requires a specific, like tests in school. This is an explodable topic. I know no easy answer. At best. Do unto them what they desire, IF it is acceptable to you. If not, call me. I have large, very, very far reaching "sticks";-p!

Mimpi darling I would try to be as polite as possible and make a menta lnote to avoid them. Missed you darling, lovely to see you're still on here!

It's a challenge allright. At the same time avoiding always does not seem to be the way out. It depends on what spheres in life we come across them. I have a few colleagues who can be very difficult to deal with most of the time. Then on the personal front family members too can get very difficult at times. I do get dragged down at times, but then avoiding them all the time is not possible. Keeping to myself helps, and i try and do that most of the times. In a few instances i have been able to comprehend the reasons behind thier difficult behaviour. Talking to those people and getting them to open up on what really is troubling them has helped. A little bit of advice and friendly pat on the back has made a lot of difference.

I always make them understand what kind of person am I.I don't let them play the monkey with me.I just make them realize that they have to go and find someone else to make things difficult.And on my part I just ignore and never go near them too.I just never put up with difficult people for the sake of any advantage.

I try to avoid them - then to appease them, what I won't do is compromise my morals and values or agree to sin in dealing with them. I think it is good to say a prayer to help keep your wits about you and be prudent.

I just either walk away or just keep silent in case walking away would be inappropriate and a sign of disrespect. Even if the person we are with is getting to be difficult they still should be respected. Also to set an example for them to respect other people and be respected also. Sure I can say that those kind of people can irritate me at times but confronting the issue with an unclear mind might just make matters worse. So I guess that best approach to them is to calmly talk to them and adjust to other people as well as adapt to the environment and current situation that they are in.

I've noticed that, a lot of times, difficult people just want someone to listen. My first real job was working in a bank in the direct deposit department. There was one woman who would call almost daily, screaming about a check that was supposed to have been deposited into her account but hadn't been. No one liked talking with her and often got upset and short with her. The first time I talked with her, I already knew who she was and how difficult she was from my co-workers. I let her rant and rave. I allowed her to speak her mind, then calmly told her how I would handle it. She actually appreciated me and would ask for me personally from that point on, always speaking politely. She just wanted to say what was on her mind without being cut short. She was lonely. After a few conversations with her, she and I used to talk about things that had nothing to do with banking because she felt that comfortable with me. That's how I handle difficult people. I let them have their say, uninterrupted. Once they've vented their anger or frustration, they're more receptive to logic. Of course, there are some people who refuse to listen to reason and those people I'll tell straight out that I refuse to listen to them until they learn to speak calmly and listen. I'll let them know that there is no reason to be rude, ever, and I won't put up with it. If I'm dealing with them on the telephone, I tell them, "Once you've calmed down and can speak in a civilized manner, call me back. I'll be willing to listen then." Then, I hang up. Emotions are contagious but you can't let difficult people's emotions get to you. Sometimes, it's even possible to get them to "catch" your emotions if you stay calm and collected. Actually, it helps if you speak with them in a very low level, a quiet voice. People tend to be more receptive to you if they have to consciously make an effort to hear you.

I think the easiest way to deal with difficult people is to just nod,lol. But when it comes to family, I think we don't really have a choice but to be patient specially with the elders because they become sensitive. Thankfully most of the time I'm own my own and don't have much problem dealing with people specially those difficult ones and if I do, I think I'll just try to ignore them.

I depends whether I have to deal with a difficult person in my personal life or professional life. Professionally I guess I had no choice and if it was someone making a complaint for example I tried my hardest to see things in their point of view so I could help them although I was not always successful! In my personal life I admit I don't try too hard to please people that are hard to get along with, I tend to stay away from painful individuals. My own mother is an extremely difficult person who is impossible to please and is quick with the put downs. For years I tried in vain to make her happy to no avail. These days I don't live with her, so life is easier and her criticism I ignore.

When dealing with difficult people, I put even more effort in, becuase then at least I know that their rudeness etc wasn't because of something I had done. I have also found that sometimes, those difficult people have at least given a half smile in the end, which meant they were completely grumpy people after all.

Hi mim, Dealing with difficult people in general, is to avoid confrontation. Avoid those types types of people once you realize that they make your life uncomfortable to be around them. If you can't avoid them, say maybe they are a family member, then try not to engage controversial conversations. I have a brother and my Twin sister who think they know best and know everthing and having a conversation with either is impossible so I tryto avoid an argument at all costs because they are loud and ungiving. It takes a lot of patience and willingness. Hugsss leenie

Hey mimpi! That is a very difficult question! My Mother is the most difficult person that I have to deal with and I really don't have an answer! She is always changing moods so that I never know how she will be when I call her and try to talk with her! I have almost decided to give up entirely, but she is my Mother! If she weren't I would totally give up! She is way to difficult to deal with and I have no room in my life for difficult people! I have gotten rid of all the other people in my life who I felt were too difficult to deal with! If the had mood swings and couldn't be able to hold a normal conversation I have let them go from my life!

i will help her or him if i can do like that. i like you and your country.

Hi Mimpi!I would ignore the person if he/she is not important to me.But if it is my boss or my in-law I will have no option but to go in for a bit of flattery.Believe me , it works!!It end up in a win-win situation ,you do not have anything to lose!

i tend to believe in " eye for eye ", as sweet as pie in proper situations