Have you ever had a friend take advantage of you? Care only about themselves?
By BlueAngelRS
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
Canada
May 5, 2009 10:41am CST
This is a really interesting topic for me....Back when I lost my baby I posted about one particular friend and it never did get better with her and I've lost contact but was just wondering if anyone had stories to share as well...
Back when I first lost my baby well even before that on my wedding day she has the nerve to ask me Can you please take a photo of me and my bf...Who the bf missed the entire ceremony showed up for pics with BEER on his breath...My wedding was alcohol free as I had a 3 month old and so did my best friend! Then when I lost my baby she was all mad cuz I didn't call her the night it happened I had only a window of people I could call as it was emergent! After I got home from the hosptial she dropped by when I wasn't home to drop off a pool for my 1 year old daughter then tells me later that night on the phone oh I had to high tail it out of there because I can't face you right now...GEEE I think you should get friendship of the year is what I was thinking she claimed to be my friend but when I need friends the most she bailed....
That wasn't just it and it didn't stop there....I barried my daughter in my home town that is about 1 and half hours drive and she lives in a small town in between and with just having surgery it was recommended to me to stop so of course I knew here place and my husband at the time and I stopped...All she could talk about is ohhh I'm so sore I got so drunk lastnight and fell off a horse...I thought OMG how can you be so disrespectful and brag about that on the day I'm going to go barry my infant daughter....Now we have kids close in age my son who is 16 now is really good friends with her 2 oldest sons they didn't take time to be there for my son...There was the opportunity to view my daughter before going to the church I was standing outside having a smoke when she showed up SHE hardly looked at me...When up with her 4 boys viewed MY baby then walked out no word no nothing...I did get a hug from her after the funeral and before the gravesight service but she didn't even come out for that...Some do Some don't that's fine BUT...The church has a wonderful luncheon for us and We had just got back to the church I was just finishing a quick smoke as I knew everyone was waiting for us...She shows up and keeps me outside cuz she CAN'T come in just to talk and let the boys hug me which was fine but she could of come in for a few minutes so I wasn't holding everyone else that wanted to talk to me up!
Then My best friend went out for to have a coffee at another friends place that she knows as well he couldn't make the funeral as his Mother was gettin up in age and couldn't be left alone but his brother came...He was asking my Best friend how it went what happened etc etc...The friend who disrespected got all rude I've had enough grief for one day blah blah...Whose baby was barried???? Oh and that is another thing I forgot to mention she was one of the friends I did not invite to my Mother N Laws before the funeral home as I only wanted family and a COUPLE OF MY BEST friends I didn't tell her that but I was inviting who My Mother N Law said it was ok to invite....Not too mention After the funeral when I was giving another friend a huggg over that friends shoulder who do I see this friend that made it all about her getting comfort from if it wasn't MY OWN MOTHER!
2 people like this
11 responses
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
6 May 09
best friends,
I know just what you mean, I think that we learn in life who can be trusted and who cannot be trusted, all of my real friends I could probably count on one hand b/c many people will come in and out of our lives but it's only true friends that stick around. They try to uphold you and support you in whatever you might be going through. Sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. Just think that one is in heaven now and it's being held by God and the Angels......... Have a great night friend!And Happy Mylotting.......
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
Yes I couldn't agree more with that...I also belive that God doesn't give us more then we can handle and I've made it this far with alot of downs in my life I'm only a stronger and better person for it I believe
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
6 May 09
best friends,
Oh ur so welcomed, don't even mention it. And don't worry about her b/c God will give you plenty more really good true friends. I ask him all the time to take the people away from my life that he doesn't want to be in my life......... It's funny how sometimes the wrong ones will start hanging around you and you don't want to hurt their feelings so you just sort of learn to tolerate them. Always trust that God knows what is best in each one of our situations........ Have a wonderful day!
2 people like this
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
5 May 09
I have had it happen to me my whole life because I'm a nice guy so it's easy. Even in my relationship, my girlfriend, whom I love and who I've shared a house with for 7 years yells at me, sometimes when it's things her kids do. it's clear that in this world, as bad as it is, if you let people use you or take advantage of you they will. It will probably happen the rest of my life.
I don't know how new you are to mylot, but you have got to keep your discussions much shorter than this one. It says be as descriptive as possible but people who see something this long will usually skip it. I know because there was a discussion here on it. Someone asked do you answer questions that have very long descriptions?
Most people said no.
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
5 May 09
Honestly I have had people walk all over me too for years, but I decided after the last time that I got burnt that I deserved better and that I wasn't going to let people keep doing it to me anymore! Maybe one day when you've had enough you will do the same. The only person that can change it is you! If you don't stick up for yourself none else will! If they see you as a doormat they will gladly use you for everything you've got and treat you like the crap under their shoes!
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
5 May 09
that is some people that won't answer lengthy discussions and I've been on mylot for awhile now and I may not come on faithfully I haven't in awhile but the discussions that I came up with in the past people would mention that I wasn't descriptive enough to answer Some of my Discussions are lengthy yes...But it gets the whole story out I belive...I also agree with you Purple I too am guilty of letting people walk on me no more I'm nobodies doormat!
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
Yes I can see that happening...It's my belief that if you want a friend to be a good friend be a good friend back even tho I did this with this friend it was all in vein...It's sad!
1 person likes this
@Hedwig (283)
• China
6 May 09
In high school, I met a friend who I used to consider as a close friend. I think that she was not taking advantage of me on purpose, but she was a bit selfish in some ways. She always told me her birthday on purpose several days before it came and I had to buy her presents. But it seems that it never occurred to her to buy me any birthday presents. Besides, everytime she felt upset or something she used to turn to me for consolation,but that time when I told her something that upset me,she just turned a deaf ear to it and changed the subject to herself.
She cared about herself too much and being a friend with her is too tired.
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
I know how that feels so much that is what this friend is like selfish and only talks about her but to her friends are two way streets lol!
1 person likes this
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
6 May 09
I never knew anyone who has never experienced this once in their lives, and that's a sad fact about some people we call friends,(well excluding those who don't socialize or who don't have any friends). Maybe once a person gets out of his own shell he really exposes himself to this dangers and there's always a good chance that he can get hurt. The only good thing about having friends is when you really found this group of people that will sincerely care for you. I hate it too when friends are good in making up excuses, I prefer them to say "no" straight away that beat around the bush and make you hope in vain. This used to happen to me alot in school, they smile at you when they need something but they ignore you outside the premises as if they don't even see you. Atleast say hello, you borrowed by entire notes yesterday... something like that. But then I grew tired of this people and just socialize with the ones who earned my trust and respect.
I guess, no matter what we do, even if we don't do anything, the world is filled with people like this, then we need to be really careful in choosing friends. Don't invest your feelings to people who doesn't deserve it if you don't want to get hurt. But you will also lose the chance of experience, everything that happens makes us learn... and its worth telling our children and great grand children.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
I agree...She is just one friend I have really close friends that I trust and love with all my heart and that have prooven no matter what they are there for me so I feel blessed that my true friends were there as well as this one bad cookie so to speak lol! Take Care!
1 person likes this
@Brandiewynne (71)
• United States
6 May 09
I have had this happen to me several times. My husband fondly refers to them as emotional vampires, as they can suck the life right out of you if you are not careful.
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
That is one really good way of looking at it but it can also be very true!
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
5 May 09
Ahhhhhhh yes I am well aware of this situation and I'm sure you are well aware of mine! When your soon to be ex hubby came to live with my family and I for what I thought would be a few weeks or maybe a few months tops about 6 months later he left my home while my family and I were out at the races. He actually had the nerve to come home, grab all of his crap, leave a note on the fridge apologizing, and then left! He's sorry bull s**t! After he left I went back to my book where I kept track of money that he had given us! We agreed on 600 bucks a month and you can imagine my surprise when I saw he had racked up a $1,400.00 bill with us! Sometimes he'd make some flimsy excuse not to pay us the full amount and eventually over time it added up! Then I took him to small claims as it wasn't just about the money it was also the principal that you don't treat friends like that and he didn't even show up! I then won by default, and I was just about to get his wadges at work garnished and you phoned me and told me to put a hold on it because he had gotten laid off from his job! Now here I am months later still waiting for him to get a job, be a man, and pay up what he owes me! The part that makes me the most mad is that in a round about way he took money from my child because everything I buy benefits her if it's food, her clothes, roof over her head, what have you and that brings out the momma bear instinct in me BIGTIME! It also really bothers me that he cowardly left after I told him that he needced to start paying up what he owed in back pay and if he didn't and/or took off the B**ch in me would come out! Makes me feel like me and my friendship never really meant jacks**t to him!
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
5 May 09
I can completly understand what you are saying and I'm so sorry that he put you and your family through that...It amazes me though how he can sit back and say I don't have many friends...Well with how he treats them he must be a complete idiot as too why....I really hope that you get your money back one day and the chance to face him to let him know how you really feel about what he did...Would love to see him piggy back his way out of that one! AS he tried to do on the phone with me! LOL nice Try I say!
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
5 May 09
Honestly if he can walk out on his wife and kids it doesn't surprise me that he can walk out on a "best friend" either! Oh well it's done! Maybe one day I'll get my money back, maybe one day I won't! The main thing is that he's out of my life and I don't have to keep putting up with his crap anymore!
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
5 May 09
Yep that is the way I look at it as well...It's a long hard road but honestly the more I hear the more I can't believe I still hurt!
1 person likes this
@kindy198636 (471)
• China
6 May 09
Hi, I have a friend like that, just as you say, I think what she care about is herself, that girl is my college classmate, by occasional we make friends, because she is my best friend's friend, so we became friend, and she just call me, when she need my help, and if I need help, she will never help me, this is really make me angry, and she always want to get some benefits from me. She is my best friend's friend, so I have nothing to do with this.
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
I can so totally relate to that sounds like this friend of mine....Even when I was grieving the loss of my baby she would only call for her own personal feelings and want to talk...Not that I mind being there for my friends as long as they are there for me and I never felt that with this friend!
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
5 May 09
Friends that take advantage.
Well all that I can say to this post is that with friends like that, who need enemies? Some say keep ur friends close and ur enemies even closer. Wish I could tell you what to do but in this case you will have to decide whether it's really worth it to have friends like that around you. Only you can make that decision.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
5 May 09
I couldn't agree more...I've used that on occasion as well if you have friends like that who needs enemies....I still talk with this friend but have learned not to say anything I don't want revealed to my ex husband!
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@marites31 (267)
• Philippines
6 May 09
im sorry about what had happened to you. anyway, things will be change in time.. and you dont have to pin point yourself for this mistakes...take care always
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 May 09
This Friend and I haven't talked in along time and she is sooooo weird she has gone behind my back and complained to my best friend that she gave up I was avoiding her in contacting me and that friends should be a two way street OMG when I heard that I couldn't believe it...When her hubby(common law) left her I was there to let her feelings out! When her new bf does some things I was there to listen...But yet when I want to talk about My husbands (Married) leaving I'm beeking about it....Also when I tried to talk to her about my baby she made it alllllll about her feelings about it like I didn't go through it...I can say my life has been much more peaceful without her in it lol...I know she will call one day but when that day comes i can say I don't want any contact again I tried but like you said friendship is a 2 way street and I felt for years that it was one sided....
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
5 May 09
It's a hard lesson learned and you and I both know this person she lives not to far from you...I told you the wrong one on the phone lol! I've posted so much I'm forgetting my own discussions lol! Welcome to Mylot too hehe!
1 person likes this
