The signs before saying, "Its ok. You're forgiven..."

sincerity. just that. he has to be sincere and show it. somehow you'll know if he is or not. mere "i'm sorry" is not enough. the words are simply over-used, over-rated. depending on the magnitude, the dust may settle in quick. but when the wound is too deep, the cut too severe, the bruise too sore... it's much better to be left alone and be healed by time... until the "i'm sorry" becomes acceptable... until the mistake... becomes forgivable.

Simple rule- hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me. There won't be a third time. I think everyone deserves a freebie, accidents happen, emotions make our mouth say things before our brains hit the shut-off valve. BUT-- if we don't learn from our mistakes and we continue to do it, or say it, forgiveness should be reserved. Here is a perfect example... My youngest daughter has these two girls at school that have nasty habits of saying things like 'if you're going to play with her, I'm not going to be your friend' or 'if you don't do this, I'm not your friend anymore'. Then a day or two later they want to be friends again, so they apologize. I've taught her to not accept it. If they were really sorry, they wouldn't keep doing it. I'm tired of my little girl coming home crying, then going to school the next day not sure who her friends are. I told her that her friends are the ones who treat her nice always, the kids who are always her friends. She knows that if she continues to allow these girls to treat her that way, they will continue to treat her that way. What's worse is these girls do it separately. They aren't really friends with each other, they just both want to control my kid. She is aware of that and has spent this school year getting stronger against their 'bullying'.