how do you respond to the defection of your partener?

I found out recently that my girlfriend of five years doesn't love me anymore. She told me, and said that, in thinking about it, she hadn't loved me for a while now. She's a good person, and we cried, but I'm still quite confused. She'll be moving out in a couple of months, for good. Of course I knew we were getting distant in certain ways, but still the revelation of not loving me was a bit of a surprise. I thought we were having fun together and that we made a good team, and that there were no major problems. I put a lot into this relationship, and tried my hardest. So, there you go. I guess things are just really complicated. But as for "what do you do"? Love is such a fragile thing, and (in its best forms) it's something shared authentically by two people. There's nothing one person can, or should, do alone. I'm not a 17-year old, interested anymore in staying up all night crying and listening to Pink Floyd. I'll help her out as much as I can, and (although she's not very open with her feelings) try to learn what I can about what might have gone wrong, so I can incorporate any potential lessons to learn. But, then again, I don't believe these are necessarily instances of something going "wrong." Too many factors involved. Sometimes things just don't work out. I think it's important not to beat yourself up too much or take things too personally, just out of ego. (Now, maybe I did do some things wrong, and it's my job to try to find those out, and try to improve...)

for me, if i do not have children or my children have growth up, i will just give up, if my children are still young, maybe i will try to pull him back ,