how do you show your support for a friend being diagnosed with cancer?

Ah, that is so young for somebody to go through that. Too sad! Okki (post 1) makes some good points there. That is a rough age to go through the trials of cancer. I'm a survivor myself, so I'll add a few things from a patients point of view if I may. One thing that we feel going through this is lack of seeing people. By that I mean it always seems that people with cancer seem to make other people uncomfortable, because they don't know what to talk about. My suggestion would be to call just to see how they're doing, and more important is a physical visit to the person. I got many calls here and there, but everybody seemed to quit visiting. What I wanted most was somebody to talk about OTHER stuff besides the usual 'how do you feel?' and focusing on the cancer part of it. I wanted somebody to sit down and play cards, or Yahtzee, and talk about all kinds of other stuff. Even when we're not feeling well it's very important to still feel connected with real life. How about offerring to go to the library for her once every week or two? One of the things I always wanted was to have reading material. I couldn't go to the library myself, but I sure would have appreciated somebody going and getting me some of the latest magazines and books I was interested in. They even have movies you can check out for free. I was hooked on comedy movies, and I think they help stave off depression, and the lonliness that often comes with it. I don't know how old a teen you guys are, but being a friend to somebody going through that shows true caring. It doesn't have to take money to show caring, just true friendship. When I went bald from chemo, one of the funniest days was when my hair was falling out. (I know...doesn't sound funny, but it was) I knew I'd have to either let it fall out in clumps, or make it easier to bear by cutting it. So...I gathered some friends and family and let them draw straws on who got to cut it, and they could do it as creatively as they wanted. Even though I was losing my precious hair, I never laughed so hard in my life...I had a mohawk, and all kinds of weird styles before they got done and down to the cue-ball look. We took pictures and to this day you just HAVE to laugh. That took the tension out of losing my hair. Then next we had make-up sessions, which was fun and hilarious too. It's the 'girl things' that bonded and made the day. And while all of that was being done because of the cancer therapy, it became silly and easier to bear because it was just a bunch of girls acting goofy. I think that's what a lot of us going through that want: the closeness of just being with friends and having fun despite all that we're going through...without the focus on the sadness part. (At least that's what I really wanted) The hardest visitors I had to deal with were those who acted sad around me. Their sadness did nothing to bring cheer into my day. Good luck to your friend! And good luck to you for being such a caring person!

Cancer brought my family together, and so beware that you may become better friends. I discovered that while you may not feel that you are needed, you really are. Her family will go with her to the hospital for serguries and treatment. Make the time to go up there also. If it is going to be all day (many of our days have been spent without leaving the hospital) then plan to show up about 11 in the morning with sandwiches (home made is great). Or if you are not comfortable doing that then do show up and check on her (it can be very hard) sometimes just sitting quietly can mean so much. You will feel scared to go to the hospital or to her home, but it is the right thing to do. The most important thing is to not go if you are feeling sick. write a note or text her, if she is going through chemo or radiation and you or someone that you have been around is sick then you could expose her to it so stay away unless you are well. You could also get together with your classmates and make her cards. Sounds elementary but she will love it, and you will enjoy making them.