Afraid to answer the door or telephone?

Yes, I know you are both right. But, some days it is just so difficult. I am happy that my family has no problems with this. My children are grown up and I live with my BF. No one can get into problems because of this, except me. But, there is nothing to collect here. I don't have much. What I have they can take. Normally I think positive. I know how I should react. But then the phone (or door) rings and I feel fear. Afraid of who it is. What they want. How much do I have to pay this time? Did I forget to pay something? What if they don't understand me? What if I don't now what to say? This makes me want to just let it go by. I know it is wrong of me, but I just have times that I cannot take it anymore. Take care.

I totally agree with this one so I gave it a good rate. This is life, and while you're still alive, you have to make the most out of it.

Thank-you very much for your advice. I am trying to get extra money, trying to get a job. But my health is against me. I did sell the house, so they cannot take that from me. (Lost money on the house too!) Don't have a car anymore, so they cannot take that. What I do have is worth less for them. I don't have much to lose. It is the embarrassment of not being able to pay my bills on time. I use to be able to pay my bills and feel good about it. Everything was on time. Now a days, I am happy to be able to get through the month. I am getting there, but I don't like confrontations about payments I cannot pay at that time. I am late very often. I always pay the oldest bills first. That helps. I got everything organized in a binder so I can keep track of everything better, this makes a big difference. And no, I don't want help from any debt consolidation or credit consumer. Then I would really feel more lost then I do know. I like to be in control. Take care.

Based on what you told me, I have some additional ideas. First, since you are effectively judgment proof, meaning there really isn't anything they can do to you, move towards paying bills by priority rather than age. Shelter, Food, Clothes. I assume you are already in a very modest location. Food, well that's a given. And by clothes, I'm obviously not talking about that expensive two-piece bathing suit to show off your attractive figure. "Bare Necessities" is the phrase of the day. As for all your unsecured debt, toss any credit card debt under the buss. They can wait. Your credit is already toast, so forget about that. Be careful around student loans. They are backed by the government, and when you mess with government, they mess with you. Companies with student loans do not need to sue you. They can garnish your wages, and other things, without any warning whatsoever. Try and put that on hardship deferral, but never ignore them like you can a credit card. Find an answering machine (used hopefully, or at a discount store) that has a record function. Inform collectors that you are recording the call. Further, learn your rights under the "Fair Debt Collection Practices Act" which you can look up on wiki. If they violate those rights, and you have recordings of it, you can sue them. They will likely settle out of court by forgiving all your debt, because the cost of fighting the lawsuit will exceed how much they could get from you. Finely, after you ignore the credit cards, and once you have paid up all your other bills, build up several thousand in the bank. After you have several thousands, call up the companies one by one, and offer to settle. Do not do this unless you have the money on hand at the time to settle.

Ooops.. I did not know you were in Germany. Not sure how much of that applies to you. Doh!

Yes me too, I try to get the bills caught up. Some months it is so hard. The police were on my door not too long ago, asking for my BF. He has money problems from before our time. I know about these. I was shocked when she said, the next time they would come and break open my door. I mean, it is my house. Everything here is mine. My BF lives with me, we are not married. But, I stayed calm and asked her for a telephone nr so he could give her a call. At first she just wanted to leave, so I asked again. Then she gave me a paper with a new appointment on it and warned me that my BF be there or else! When he went to this appointment, all he needed to do was sign a paper saying he was not allowed to have his own business for the next two years. What was all the fuse about!?!? Take care.

Oh my! That would be scary! Why did your father say that? Did he really think she had gone crazy? How is your relationship with your grandmother now? Do your see her or visit her every now and then? Thanks for your comment. Take care.

Yes that is true. I used to be like that too. I would run to the phone and break my neck doing it. hahaha! I would run to the door to open it on time. But, now a days I am the opposite. That is not always good. I am happy, like you, I feel free of the obligation. But now I have a fear instead. That is not good either. Thanks for your comment. Take care.

Yes, I think that will happen. I have read that a lot of us have problems. So, I guess things can only get better for us all. Take care.

I hear ya! Hopefully, you'll (and I ) will be able to find some healthy balances in there somewhere!!

Yes, I have experienced that too. When I called the bank to tell them I could not pay my payment that month, they gave me a deal and helped me out. I try to keep everything organized. But sometimes I just don't now what to say anymore. I was wondering if others have experienced these fears too. Thanks for your advice. I know your right. Take care.

Thank-you for your advice. Fear should not control, I agree. I never expected myself to feel this way. Being prepared is a good advice. Oh yes I prefer positive budget as well. I used to always have positive budget. But lately things have changed. I don't have as much money. It is getting hard to keep up with the bills. So, I should try to prepare myself for these issues. Okay I will try, thank-you. Take care.

Hi Pose, how are you? My health is all ready a problem. That is why I have half the money I use to have. Here is where the problem started. But, your right, it is best to face the problem. Normally I can, but recently it seems to be getting more complicated. I don't like the confrontations anymore, I fear talking to people. I know you are right. Just some times I cannot deal with it anymore. I don't like the confrontations. Explaining everything. The telephone goes and or the door, I feel a fear of opening it. Or answering the phone. I will peek out the window to see if I can see someone out there. I don't have this all the time. But, I find it is getting worse. I don't want to think about my problems. I am dealing with the bills the best I can. I cannot do it any other way. They will get paid, but they will have to wait. Oh well, things can only get better. Thanks for your advice. Take care.

Yeah you are definately not alone. When I was young I didnt take me credit seriously, and I messed it all up, now my credit is so bad that I cant even rent an apartment. Its crazy. so dont feel alone. Besides,half of the world is in debt right now. Its hard out there. Take care.

Yes same here. Problem is I have come to the point that I find I am afraid of answering to the door or telephone. I am behind a lot with my bills. I pay them but they are late. I am so tired of explaining too. Every month I am afraid I won't be able to pay at all. With this conversation I found we are not alone. Thanks for your comment. Take care.

Yes the panic feeling, I know that too. Your are all ready thinking all kinds of things before you really know what is going on. We have to stop doing that. I know I am suppose to face it. Normally I do. But lately I just don't want to be confronted with these problems. I am doing my best, can't do more than that. Good luck to you. Let's think of it this way: "Things can only get better." Take care.

Sorry to hear that. What I have concluded due to this conversation, is that we are not alone. It is a very scary time indeed. I hope you succeed in getting rid of this situation. I hope we all do. Wouldn't it be nice, just to be able to live again? Well, things can't get much worse. So then, things can only get better! Thanks for your comment. Take care.

That does not sound right. You have not used it in 7 months, and your paying the minimum. Then you still should have paid some off. You should not still be at the same amount. That is weird. What does the bank say? Is this normal? Are they charging you for being behind on payments? I hope things work out for you soon. Take care.

There has to be a bottom but the most hurting thing is my credit card bills, the more I pay, the bigger it becomes. I have not used it for last 7 months but still, I am owing the same money I owed 7 months ago, I am paying minimum amount every month!

That is good. It is nice to have nothing to worry about. I don't mind food coming to my door. hahaha! Thanks for commenting. Take care.

You are so right. You have a good attitude, you will do just fine. Always pay things on a cash basis, no borrowing or paying next year arrangement. I was caught in those situations in the past. Took a long time to pay off and you pay so much extra because of it. I was doing just fine until the Euro came. It got less. Then I got problems with my health and now I only get half the money I use to get. I am doing my best, but it is not always easy. Thanks for commenting. Take care.

Thanks for commenting. Yes that can happen too. But remember, your father won't be around forever. He loves you, let it be boring for 10 min, and tell him you need to leave. Or you just got a visitor. This way you can get along too. Still it is easy said of me. I have the same issue with a girlfriend of mine. She is so negative. I hate talking to her on the phone, she really can make me feel miserable. But then, she does not love me, so it is not to bad to let the phone ring. hahaha! But still it is not proper of me either. Take care.

Thank-you for your advice. Yes, getting this medical report is a big problem. I can still walk. They are telling me I can work. But I cannot go back to my old job. I am an all round machine operator. Used to work for BDF ,Nivea. Worked there for over 11 years. They say I cannot stand to long, cannot sit too long, cannot bend, or lift anything. What kind of job can I do? Anyway, the payments are usually behind, but I do get them paid. I pay the old bills first. I have everything organized in a binder, so that I can keep everything under control better. But when I am just one month behind, they will start calling me asking me when the money will be paid. I don't like these confrontations. I know I should not be afraid of it. But somehow I find I do have a fear for this. Take care.

Thanks for your comment. Yes, I have made arrangements every once in a while. But, how many more can I make? They will be getting tired of me. The small payments is good. I need to remember that, thank-you. I have done that in the past, but recently had not thought about it. Good idea. Thanks, I could use some luck now a days. Take care.

Thanks for your comment. We are not alone. There seem to be a lot of people like us out there. That is the nice thing a bout a phone, you can hang up. One of the other responses recommended this too. I think in my case that is a good idea. This way I won't have as much fear to pick up the phone. I just need to remind myself that I can hang it up if I feel like I need too. Good idea. But the door is another story. That would mean I would have to slam the door in there face. I don't think they would be too happy with that. hahaha! Take care.

That is terrible! Can you get in contact with the payroll clerk? Tell him to pay you some, so you can pay your bills. I hope all works out for you fast. I hate these kinds of situations. The waiting is so hard. Wishing you the best. Take care.

Thanks for your comment. I guess I will have to think positive. Things cannot get much worse, so they can only get better. Take care.

Thank-you very much. I could use some luck now a days. I know you are right. Just some times I cannot deal with it anymore. I don't like the confrontations. Explaining everything. The telephone goes and or the door, I feel a fear of opening it. Or answering the phone. I will peek out the window to see if I can see someone out there. I don't have this all the time. But, I find it is getting worse. I don't want to think about my problems. I am dealing with the bills the best I can. I cannot do it any other way. They will get paid, but they will have to wait. Oh well, things can only get better. Thanks for your advice. Take care.