What is the definition of a GOOD Boyfriend or Husband?
By queenlove
@queenlove (495)
United States
May 9, 2009 5:39pm CST
I think that this is a good topis to cover. What is considered a Good man? My children's father used to cheat on me, but he worked hard everyday and made sure that all of the bills were paid and the kids were fed and taken care of. Him and I broke up a long time ago.
The guy I am with now has never ceated on me in the 10 yars I have been with him, However, he lets me down a lot. He has a hard time getting (and keeping) a job, and I am the main breadwinner of the house. When we get behind with bills or run low on food, I cant depend on him to come trough for us.
I have friends who's man is an alcoholic,but a good father. Others who are a good man, work hard, pay bills, non abusive, but don't help out around the house or spend time with the kids.
SO, I ask, what makes a man bad?
When should someone decide that they are with a bad man, and how should they go about addressing it?
2 people like this
13 responses
@latee0731 (2)
•
9 May 09
The definition of a good husband is my boo. He puts God first and family second. He provides for the family and has many friends. Hes a hard dedicated worker and makes sure all the bills are paid. He listens and is compassionate.He doesnt cheat and understands a woman's perspective. Hes awesome and I wouldnt trade him for the world.
2 people like this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
10 May 09
Good Answer!!!!
That is my definition too. I am jealous! LOL
My boyfriend is good to me. He respects me, does not cheat on me, he is good with my kids (and they arent even his)but when it comes to contributing to the bills and needs of the house, he leaves me high and dry.
When he does work, he gives me a little here and there, but its nothing consistent. He is real selfish when it comes to his money.
The only time he isn't like that is when I get tired of it and put him out. Then he will act right for awhile, but a few months later he goes right back to his old ways. :(
@MaryannaHope (96)
• United States
10 May 09
In my opinion, a good boyfriend or husband is a man who always treats you with respect. He will always consider your needs in making decisions regarding everything from the house to the children to his career. A man who respects you will not abuse you or your children, he will help out around the house, fulfill his financial obligations, and will not cheat on you.
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
11 May 09
I agree. Like I said before. If someone loves you, then they will do whatever is necessary to make you happy, because they don't want to see you hurt. When someone loves you truly then it hurts them when you are hurting.
Good post!
Thanks for responding.
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
10 May 09
I think a good boyfriend or husband stands by you and your children and wants to support them. He loves you in action and words. He dosen't cheat, abuse, and helps you as much as he can and helps you with your children. Bad habits can make a relationship suffer and only the person who is with them has to decide what is best for them and their children. a committed man or boyfriend is one I think is good. as well. Also, he loves you just for who you are, not what he wants you to be. I wish you and your children the best.
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
10 May 09
Thank You for the well wishes. I agree with what you said as well
Thanks for responding!
~Love
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
9 May 09
Don t exist a definition for a good man , as don t exist a definition for a woman.
A good man is man who you love and he love you. And if he love you never cheat on you, he is never abusive or he try to work for his family as you work too.
Is simple. as much he love you will be the best man for you.
Maybe i am a idealist, but i was in a marriage withaut love and all was like hell...so, for me if love exist all will be good for both.
@queenlove (495)
• United States
10 May 09
I agree. If you love someone you will treat them well because you dont want to hurt them. It hurts you to see someone you love hurting.
So if someone can continually hurt you over and over, then they must not be in love.
Thanks for responding.
~Love
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
10 May 09
I think that my husband is a great husband.
he would do anything for me and our children. He goes out of his way to make sure I am happy. He moved me from Chicago to Atlanta just because I wanted to be closer to family. He provides for our family and I do not have to work. He works hard all day long and still when he gets home he has time for me and the children.
He give our kids a bath and does bed time routine every night.
He goes out of the way for me, he is a provider, a good father and a great listener. he is my everything.
how did I get so lucky.
If you think you are with a bad man and want to make a change they you have to make that change you have to have a talk with him and let him know what he is not providing for you and what he can do to fix it.
Good luck..
@queenlove (495)
• United States
10 May 09
It sound to me that you are a very lucky woman. Is nice to know that the good men are out there somewhere.Congrats for having a good one!
Thanks for responding.
~Love
@always_natalia (444)
• Indonesia
10 May 09
I believe that man is the main supporter of the family. I mean he must has a steady job or business that can be used to feed his family.
It's ok for him to be between jobs and stay home to help around the house, but not for a long time, because his main responsibility is to provide foods on the table.
As a mother, I think it's you who should spend more time in the house to take care of your children. Because the children's mental health is really depending on the education that their mother gives them at home.
So tell your man to get a job and keep it for a long time. Be straight forward, this is for the sake of your future.
He is not a bad man, he's just need extra motivation to fight for his future, you, and your children. So be supportive to him always.
@feathers26 (865)
• Philippines
10 May 09
I think he should have faith in God, good provider
and loves me and my children and family.
@sunil_008 (1269)
• India
10 May 09
Hi, i think if someone is responsible then he's good.if someone isn't then he's not good. i meant responsible in every aspect that you can think of...like helping the wife in in domestic works or staying with the kids or it may be earning or maintaining a good character...
@Henrysun (40)
• China
10 May 09
Everyone has her own standard. But I think happiness is the most important thing. Not everyone in the world is rich, no one is perfect. If your life is happy, that's enough. Back to reality, money is very important. So, conclusion, the one who can afford the family and good to you, is a good husband.
@queenlove (495)
• United States
11 May 09
Thats true. They say money isn't everything, but I have learned many times that Love don't pay the bills...well, unless you are in that type of profession that entails you to get paid for your love..lol....which I am not. LOL
@jmlynn (46)
• United States
10 May 09
My definition of a good husband is someone who works hard to provide with their family. Someone who isn't so ignorant when they come home from work (knowing that your day was probably just as rough)comes home and helps you out around the house. Someone who there for you when you need them the most, but also knows when it is the right time to just keep their mouth shut. Above all, a non-abusive, comforting, spontaneous, passionate-towards-his-wife man.
Passion and spontaneity fades so fast in a relationship that, to me at least, it can make a good man look bad. In my situation, I have been with my husband for 9 years, and 3 of those years it was long distance. I want my husband to want me and to need to be with me no matter what he does around the house or at work. He doesn't get that he pushes me away constantly. I feel that he is a good man, but sometimes (and I feel guilty for saying this) I just don't feel that he is a good husband because I have needs and wants in a relationship too. Everything can get so boring when you are in a relationship for so long. He can get to the point where his "jokes" just aren't funny. They are hurtful, but he doesn't care.
@queenlove (495)
• United States
11 May 09
Ha! How about this...
A man who cooks, cleans, shops, pays all the bills, works 2 GOOD jobs, listens, hates sports, does not play video games,knows the difference between tan and taupe,babysits,gives full body massages, does not speak unless he is given permission, and puts the lid on the toilet seat down.
Has the bodyof Vin Deisel, and Bill Gates MOney.
LOL