Why are people so cruel after a divorce?

hello there, i hope that things will turn out better for you. i work in a law firm and have seen my fair share of how people treat each other after divorcing. from custody to maintenance, sometimes you just wonder what are all these for. at the end of the day, the ones suffering the most from a failed marriage are always the children. since he has custody of your child, i tink its best you have a polite talk to him instead or quarrelling or since he is using the swine flu as an excuse, go find your daughter and not wait for your daughter to come to you? all the best.

I am sorry to hear that. Time heals all wounds they say. But, unfortunately some take a long time. The best way to get on with your life, is to accept the things you can't change. When your daughter is being looked after with love and care. Be happy for her. I know this sounds hard because you want to be with her.(Of course) But, try to think only of her. Is she in good hands? Does she get what she needs? Is she getting love and care? Sure it hurts, but you have to find a way to move on, so when the day comes that your daughter comes to visit you (Maybe later move in with you), you will be ready to give her everything she wants and needs too. Like a strong mother with a great personality. Do it for her. Look after yourself for her, so she can look up to you when she is older. Look to the future. And why so cruel after a divorce? Love and hate have a close relationship. When the love is gone it turns to hate. Unfortunately that is how it normally goes in life. Luckily it does not always have to be this way, but normally it is. Good luck to you. I hope you can get on with your life and be strong for yourself and your daughter. This is how I think. Wishing you all the best. Take care, have a nice day.

i am sorry about the emotional trauma which still has not ended for you. it is indeed terrible to be parted from your daughter. I can understand the mental agony which you must be undergoing. please do not let this damage you psychologically. it is said that every problem comes with a solution. you just have to find it out. i pray that you find a solution to this particular problem too.

My ex husband acts this way.The only good thing is my 2 boys are with me.He always make me upset but I always don't mind him and it always work for me.It makes him very angry when the kids and I don't mind him at all.Men can't handle emotional pains very easily.That's why they upset us because they think they can win with this kind of game (specially if kids are included).

I am so sorry that your ex is not mature enough to know that he is in the long run hurting your daughter more than he is hurting you. Is three any way that you can take him back to court. I know this requires money, time and energy which is of short supply now days. Another option would be to get a mediator that could work with the two off you to come to an agreement that would benefit your daughter and put her needs before your needs. Good luck in what every you do and I hope that one day he will come to know that he is hurting your daughter more than anything.

Hi:-) Be brave, love yourself & don't let him destroy your life...you have the chance to live you life in good manner...with the wright person...be good!

My ex husband and I spent the last 6 mos of our marriage, agreeing on who got what while I organized everything to split stuff up. We parted as friends. There was no animosity whatsoever. Although, I think he was holding out hope that someday I would change my mind, but not sure on that one. Maybe that was why he didn't play any games. I dunno. But his daugher, my youngest, is pretty pissed at him now, since a couple of years ago, he just up and moved away. Said nothing. No notice, no forwarding phone number or address. In fact, I thought he moved to the US to escape paying child support. Since the only animosity that had been between us, finally, was that he just wasn't paying the measly $175/mo that we had agreed on at the Divorce. Despite him offering and the lawyer telling me I should have gotten $250/mo 18 years ago. And over the years, he just kept letting it slide worse and worse, but since he was still continuing a good relationship and regular visits with our daughter, I didn't push too hard. But finally, when he was going a year at a time, only paying once, when I demanded it, I finally put my foot down. I told him I was going to put it in the hands of the Family Responsibility Office and let them chase him and collect. That would mean they would likely suspend his drivers license, which would put him out of any job possibilities. So, that's when he disappeared. Funnily enough, 6 mos after he disappeared, Canada and the US made a deal, to help find Child Support Debtors and collect from them. So, I started getting child support. REGULARLY! And, I've been getting more like $300/mo to pay the outstanding back support, too. With the odd lump sum being deposited in my account sometimes, too. I still don't know if he just moved to another province or the US, but if he did it to try and evade paying, it didn't work. I am happier than a pig in shyte about the support. But my daughter is severely disappointed in his behaviour. And rightly so. Don't you have it listed in the Divorce that you are to have access visits on Mother's Day? OMG! That is just ridiculous. He is being quite cruel! He must still be resentful that you were able to have the courage to leave him.

that is sad and cruel, he should have let your daughter be with you! its mother's day! that is one thing that is hard, he should learn to understand that you are the mother no matter what. I will pray for you and hope you will be able to get through this. god bless

i am sorry for your suffering. Children are always hurt deeply after the parents' divorces. I think it is good for your daughter if you and you ex could get well along with each other. I know that it is hard for you. However, thing changes and you can just let it go. Maybe it is your ex who does not let it go and play the emothional game with you. I suggest that you could sit together and talk through your problems. Good luck with you and hope that you could see your daughter soon.

It depends upon the man involving it. He used to play games with girls maybe that is his excuse for his sentiments in marriage break up. To handle this situation in my own idea , move on, live happily ignore evrything activities done by him and pray to Gods guidance. Time come your daughter will see you, its just a matter of healing ones wound from that situation. Let the time make it better for your ex spouse and daughter.