torn between two friends
By xannebull
@xannebull (1793)
Philippines
May 10, 2009 7:31am CST
i have this office mates of mine, both of them are my close friend. the other friend of mine was a guy. there came a time that the two have been quarelling, when i'm with this guy, he talks bad about the girl. and when i'm with this girl, he talks bad about this guy. i was really torn the both of them. i always told them to have some time to think of the things that they have misunderstanding, but they have pride that either one of them can't talk with each other. we were close before that is why our friendship gets affected with this matter.what do you think is the right thing to do?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Margajoe (4746)
• Germany
10 May 09
The right thing to do normally is not get involved.
They have to sort this out by themselves.
When one starts to talk about the other, tell them to please stop.
They want to complain, they should complain to each other, not to you.
Hope this helps a little.
Take care, have a nice day.
@jellymonty (2352)
•
10 May 09
am with you on this one marga.. best to stay out of it.. It aint your problem what goes on between them.. As long as you get along with both of them then that shouldn't worry you or tear you..
2 people like this
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
10 May 09
sure it does help a lot. i'll try your advice everytime this happends again. im hoping that the two would be able to befriend each other again just like we had yesterdays. the friendship was so wonderful before and now it's gone.
1 person likes this
@omiami (412)
• Malta
11 May 09
Like someone in here already told you I wouldnt get in between them. You can remain friends with both of them because none of them did anything to you so you cant choose one or another. They both are your friends no matter the fights and arguments they have between them. Tell them that they shouldnt be offended but they need to stop arguing about each other with you. Tell them that for you both of them are important and that is why you have a difficulty in continuing like this. Try to remind them about the good memories that you 3 share and how important they are both to you. Maybe they act like this because they also miss each other. Sometimes when we argue or say so much against a particular person which before was a friend, it could be because although they argue, they still sort of miss each other and their friendship. Maybe like you said the pride is the cause of their problems especially if they have a similar character. Hope it can help you! goodluck!
@vellibiz (297)
• United States
10 May 09
been there, just tell them that whatever they say to you about another person is not koo. and that you dont wanna hear it. if they get mad screw em, cuz they dont have a reason to be mad at you. saying that shows that you are keepin it real and that you dont delve into picking sides in a proffesional setting.
you should feel you did the right thing even if you feel bad.
I dont need friends that pin me against others, especailly at work.
Work is always priority number one. if you dont have a job you dont have nothing.
@Khadimhussainsubhpot (106)
• Pakistan
10 May 09
Remember "One who gossips to you will gossip of you". The best course of action is to stay away from them till they sort out their problems themselves. You,being a common friend, is not supposed to take side of either of them. Taking side of one may hurt other. Avoid backbiting and listen gossips about them. A person who listen backbiting is also a partner is this menacing habit of backbiting.
