Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms out there, I wish...
By Loverbear
@Loverbear (4918)
United States
May 10, 2009 2:41pm CST
I just celebrated Mother's Day with my BF. It was great! It wasn't the presents or the anticipation that we're going out to dinner, it was the fact that he recognized the fact that I am a mother. It's something my own daughter didn't do.
As many of you know, my daughter, son in law, two grand daughters, my son in law's uncle and their two cats lived with me for nine months. It wasn't the best time...and it cost me dearly in nearly every aspect. My car was destroyed, my electric bill was over $125 a month, the house was trashed, the girls went through my possessions and the list could go on. My home owner's association finally stepped in and evicted them as they were worried about the drain on my finances and my health. When the letter of eviction came, my daughter must have decided that I wrote it and sent it to myself...she started treating me like $hit. When the home owners association deactivated their gate pass (we have an electric gate) she demanded that I give her mine, and wouldn't listen to why I couldn't. The week they were supposed to leave, I had surgery scheduled. There was no contact from them, so I had to reschedule the surgery. My BF and I ended up packing them and moving them so I wouldn't get fined by the home owners association.
Last November I got a horrible email from my daughter, telling me exactly what kind of mother I was. She told me that I should have either aborted her when I found out I was pregnant, or put her up for adoption. She went on that I don't care about her, that I hate her husband, and the venom went on. This was because I didn't congratulate her for getting into UC Bakersfield. Oops, I didn't know that I was supposed to take out an ad on CNN for that one. It isn't like I wasn't scurrying to make money to pay off the bills I had incurred for having them here. (I am on a disability income.) I also was informed that I wasn't going to get to see my Grand daughters again. (This is her weapon to make the other grand mother and me do what she wants us to do. "If you don't do what I want, I won't let you see the girls ever again".)
I'm writing this because I hurt! I lost my Mom in 2000 after a brief illness. During the time she was in the hospital I was at her side from 10 a.m. to after midnight. Then I would go home and work on the "surprise" for her. I redecorated the kitchen, laid new carpet, redecorated her bedroom, scrubbed the house from top to bottom and worked like a mad woman. Unfortunately she didn't get to see all the work. She passed away after 53 days in the hospital. I miss my best friend and Mom like crazy, and even now I cry for the loss. 
I would give anything to have Mom back, even for a few hours!!!! Mothers are the most precious thing on the face of the earth...and people tend to forget that! My daughter hasn't sent a Mother's day card, or even an email to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. It's like I don't exist!!! And it hurts like crazy...I could sit and cry like there's no tomorrow because even with everything that has happened I still love my daughter!!!
Thank you for reading this, there really isn't too much point to the discussion except that I needed to vent the pain.
Oh, and to all the Mothers out there:
Happy Mother's Day!!!!
I would give anything to have Mom back, even for a few hours!!!! Mothers are the most precious thing on the face of the earth...and people tend to forget that! My daughter hasn't sent a Mother's day card, or even an email to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. It's like I don't exist!!! And it hurts like crazy...I could sit and cry like there's no tomorrow because even with everything that has happened I still love my daughter!!!
Thank you for reading this, there really isn't too much point to the discussion except that I needed to vent the pain.
Oh, and to all the Mothers out there:
Happy Mother's Day!!!!1 person likes this
6 responses
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
10 May 09
Honestly, sometimes thru no fault of anyone's, a child turns out to be an ungrateful beast. Your revenge, if you want to see it that way, is that her children will probably turn out just the same, since she's raising them to be same way.
I would just pray for her, since she doesn't want anything else (doesn't want that even, but do it anyway to spite her.)
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
10 May 09
Actually, I am waiting. It seems like every two years they need to move in with me. Come the end of the year through to next May there is the probability of my getting a call from my daughter asking if they can stay "for a few days". I am NOT falling for that again. Neither my physical or emotional health will take that kind of treatment (as all my friends have classified it, ABUSE) again.
My grand daughters are already turned out to be selfish ungrateful people. When the eldest tortured my Rottie into biting her, she played the wounded injured party to the max, hoping I would buy her an Nintendo DS system. Sorry, she knew the rules about the dogs and she broke the rule and wrong doing doesn't rate sympathy or rewards.
I love your responses, because you are so straight forward and honest. You snap me out of my self pity fest fast by stating the truth and being so frank. I always love seeing that you've responded! Thank you!!!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
10 May 09
well happy mothers day sweetheart! you sound like you deserve it. if you have explained all this to your daughter and shes still being like that, im sorry, not to be trying to hurt you more, but she sounds very spoiled and very selfish. 
obviously she did not learn that from you since your a very giving, generous person. my one youngest son pulled that kind of stunt on me when he was 20yrs. old. he had a gf he was living with, i let them live in my mobile home for a while but they couldnt even pay the park rent. so i told them they'd have to move in with me as my husband had just passed away and i needed to sell that home. i was already paying on my new house and couldnt pay the park rent also. anyway, they fought so much my nerves couldnt take it after 2 yrs with me i made them move out. he saw it like id taken 2 homes from them!!?
anyway, thats been a long time ago and he wouldnt have anything to do with me for nearly a year. these days hes grown up a lot and realises how hard it is with kids. hopefully your daughter will see how it is when hers start being the way shes teaching them to be selfish.hope it gets better for you soon, hon
obviously she did not learn that from you since your a very giving, generous person. my one youngest son pulled that kind of stunt on me when he was 20yrs. old. he had a gf he was living with, i let them live in my mobile home for a while but they couldnt even pay the park rent. so i told them they'd have to move in with me as my husband had just passed away and i needed to sell that home. i was already paying on my new house and couldnt pay the park rent also. anyway, they fought so much my nerves couldnt take it after 2 yrs with me i made them move out. he saw it like id taken 2 homes from them!!? anyway, thats been a long time ago and he wouldnt have anything to do with me for nearly a year. these days hes grown up a lot and realises how hard it is with kids. hopefully your daughter will see how it is when hers start being the way shes teaching them to be selfish.hope it gets better for you soon, hon@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
10 May 09
I realized along the way after letting them live with me three times that they HAD to learn to live on their own. In the time that they had been married they had been on their own maybe three out of thirteen years. They lived mostly with his mom. Their staying with me was when they had to move out of his mom's place(the first they stayed with me it was three weeks, the second time was 7 months and this last time was 9 months. The last time I got the call with my daughter asking "can we come up and stay with you for a 'few' days?" When they came through the door she announced that it would be until they got their bills caught up, which would be NEVER!)
I hope that one day that they will grow up and realize what they're doing. I know they are waiting for me to die...it was expressed during the last time that they stayed with me. It amounted to that they would get the house and since they wouldn't be approved to move in, they would sell the place. Sweet huh? Anyhow, I do feel much better now. It seems like when you hurt you're the only one going through the pain, then you realize that others go through the same thing and even worse. We just had a person convicted for killing his grandmother!!! He got tired of helping her out. So, things could be worse!
Thank you so much for your post, and from me, my furry contingent (4 cats and 4 dogs) HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!
Thank you so much for your post, and from me, my furry contingent (4 cats and 4 dogs) HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
12 May 09
well maybe you need to tell her if she cant be civil and let you see the girls, you will leave the place to someone else or a charity and see how that gets her. maybe some one that will take care of your furry babies there. or if you could figure a way to let the girls have it when they were old enough.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
10 May 09
HI Sweetheart: I remember a lot of those discussions you had about them , and she still is treating you like dirt??
SHAME ON HER!!!![i][/i][u][/u] 
I think you are an Awesome woman with a great big heart and your daughter is a complete fool for treating you this way;
Someday she is gonna regret her ill treatment of you, Hopefully before your time is up on this earth, I am so sorry you have to endure such pain especially on
Mother's Day, You know your own Mother is smiling down on you, loving you, missing you as you are her, I too miss my Mother its been 12 years since she passed away
and the pain is not any easier for me either;
Love & hugs to you dear lady, I want to personally wish you a very Happy Mother's
Day, don't give your daughter another thought, do something "nice for yourself today, treat yourself out to something special even if its an ice cream cone, dinner out if you can swing it, and if not do it anyway LOL!!!
Wishing you all the very Best, and to all the other Mother's out there;
Happy Mother's Day to each of you too, I myself was never blessed with a child but that's ok too.
I think you are an Awesome woman with a great big heart and your daughter is a complete fool for treating you this way;
Someday she is gonna regret her ill treatment of you, Hopefully before your time is up on this earth, I am so sorry you have to endure such pain especially on
Mother's Day, You know your own Mother is smiling down on you, loving you, missing you as you are her, I too miss my Mother its been 12 years since she passed away
and the pain is not any easier for me either;
Love & hugs to you dear lady, I want to personally wish you a very Happy Mother's
Day, don't give your daughter another thought, do something "nice for yourself today, treat yourself out to something special even if its an ice cream cone, dinner out if you can swing it, and if not do it anyway LOL!!!
Wishing you all the very Best, and to all the other Mother's out there;
Happy Mother's Day to each of you too, I myself was never blessed with a child but that's ok too.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
10 May 09
Loverbear: I tried to leave you a pretty photo/comment on your comment area on your profile, but its blowing chunks;
so here's your Mother's Day Card to you from me;hope you like it!! (G)! 
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
10 May 09
Thank you sooo much. Bill, my boyfriend, is taking me out to dinner tonight. Then I am going to ask him to take me to Wal Mart. (I need a box of tea anyhow.) I already am planning my Mother's Day gift. I'll be picking it up on Wednesday. I am getting a new lap top. I'm going to need it June 14th as I am having knee replacement surgery on the 11th. Today though I am going to get myself a pretty bobble...maybe a silver bracelet- or maybe that CZ ring I've been drooling over...and it will be coming from dreamweaverjan!
I don't know if you have any critters, but even the dogs and cats gave me a gift (through Bill). They even gave me a card and signed it!!! So, in my book, if you have people you love and critters in your life you are still a mother...because each friend is your child. You may not have raised them but you have fostered the friendships and grown them into a beautiful flower that graces your garden of love.
@windchimebooks (314)
• United States
11 May 09
Happy Mother's Day to you. I'm sorry for your pain, but your daughter sounds like a spoiled brat. One day she will wake up and realize how much she needs her mom. And trust me, this whole bull about "you can't see your grandchildren again" is just that, bull. They always need the grandmother's help way too much at one time or another to make good on those types of threats. I've seen that again and again. Plus, that's selfish, since they aren't giving a second thought to how the children feel about not seeing their grandmother. But like I said, eventually it proves to be an empty threat when someone needs help in one way or another, even if it's just free babysitting. Try to have a happy week anyway. Sounds like you've finally got your house back to yourself at least. Good luck to you.
@melkbremomof2 (116)
• United States
11 May 09
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY Lovebear!!! I am so sorry that you have gone through this with your daughter. I would never dream of treating my mom the way your daughter has treated you. Thank goodness for your BF. I am glad you had a good day. I spent my day with my mom, mother-in-law, grandmother-in-law, their husbands, my niece, nephew and my husband and daughters. My daughters made me a short video with pictures of them when they were little. (They are 11 now) they made me a card, my niece made me a card, and they helped me get ready for our picnic today. We all had a nice afternoon with good food and great company.
@poornimaalladi (89)
• India
10 May 09
I have read your long posting. It is pity your daughter behaved badly against you. Yes there are some people like that in the world. I am also happy about your mothers love and the last days you have spent with her. God is there and he will look after everything. I can still understand your love for your daughter in spite of her bad behavior. that is what mother represents. Happy mothers day.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
10 May 09
Thank you so much. It seems like when I feel really down and post it on myLot, people are so wonderful and post such heart felt wishes. It makes me feel like I have a huge family that is giving me wonderful warm snuggly hugs. Thank you!!!
