Do you feel that the word 'Friendship' is too loosely used nowadays?

Hi Mimpi, In the present world everybody is busy with their own life and no time for keeping good relations especially a true friendship. I believe this statement very much “A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes”. I took almost three years to come out of some hurt feelings and the reason was one of my close friend. It was shocking to realize that my close friend is really jealous on me and she hides her progress by expecting the same feelings from me. I don’t know how she can think like that. Later in my friend’s circle many asked me about her and complained about her, as they know that I am close to her, but unfortunately I don’t have an answer for them, why she changed or how she changed. But definitely I understand her real character and presently I am completely out of the trauma.

I agree with you, mimpz, and I'm too confused between friends and acquaintances, I sometimes would refer someone a friend even though I hardly know the person and maybe because I feel more comfortable to refer them as friend! I think you know already that me and Husband don't have much friends at the moment, but I believed that I have some that I can count on and I am always grateful for that.

yes,previously it used to take many years for the friendship to develop but the friendship bond that was formed was very strong..nowadays ,one can see a lot of fair weather friends,both the parties look out only for their gain,i dont think they should be labelled as friends,freindship is for life time!!

Hi Mimpi, This is a wonderful topic.And I should admit that this is loosely used by many in today's world.To me, it does make a difference and it may sound very childish but I also have the term 'best friend' for only one of my friends.I term them according to the degrees of friendship as 'good friend,very good friend, a fairly close friend,a neighbour, a person who lives in my compound etc .., ' I cannot say with full conviction that a person is my friend if someone refers to a person whom I am not too comfortable with.I will just say'Yeah;he is alright' but I would stop at that. This really happened in my case where some other nosey parker enquired 'how is Mr.A'and I replied he was fine because I may not be too friendly with him but he has not harmed me personally.However, I have become quite practical these days and do not take too much cognizance of something mentioned by another person that A was her friend etc.. sometimes they wouldhave been unsure of how to phrase itThey can be clubmembers[there ar e so many interactive clubs and all are termed friends].We come across so many people in the world , why even on the internet, say in mylot, I have some special categorisations within my mind, but I would call them all friends.But not all those who are on my 'Friend' list are my close friends.They are friends to share discussions but not details.[if you see what I mean] But when I am asked, I say'Yeah! I know him/her instead of warmly using the term 'friend' . I cannot give this term to everyone. Have I wandered? As far as many are concerned mimpi, one thing that my experience has taught me is that many people in this world look at many things with a fairly easy outlook and do not worry about the real depth of a word or the proper definition . They just say what they think , what they please and do not place too much of significance on anything. THat is a kind of social chit chat and soemmehow, I normally get put off by too much of social meaningless chitchat within family or even very close circles.[it happens you know and we get very hurt because we take so many things too seriously and to heart].It is not moralising but , the artificiality hits me and I find it difficult to relate or interact too closely when I FEEL THIS[even among close relatives].Now I am coming to terms with it but whether I would be able to make the same meaningless chatter or what is something only tiem can tell.I may not. So, the confusion must not be in our perception of what other people say--we should be able to take it all with a pinch of salt.This is what I have learnt .I have clear defintions but I do not expect the same thing from others these days. My interactions have taught me this and when I talk to some people who say things like this[I have a memory that luckily I would remeber occasionally something that would put me on the alert ] I do not pass judgements but take it as what it may or may not mean, becasue it takes all sorts of people to make this world.The possibilities spring immediately within mind, unlike a few years ago,, when I would take everything'verbatim'.[Still i seem to fall prey to this habit and my husband constantly tells me that I would believe everything and repeat it like a parrot without using my brains ].But now I am certainly getting better.

Hi! Mimpi! I for one do make a distinction between acquaintances and friends and do not count acquaintances in my 'friends'. I firmly believe that all acquaintances could not be friends. Friends for me always come at a very high pedestal/platform than acquaintances and I give due respect and regards to my dear friends. If a person is not my friend and he/she is just mere acquaintance and I have to refer about him/her, I do not say that he/she is my friend. I just tell the third person that he/she is known to me and I am not very close to him/her. I am very private person and I have very limited number of friends, though many could be counted as acquaintances. Good Post!

I think people should strive to friendly with just about every acquaintance. My mother used to talk lots about loving some relative with unconditional love. While I did not argue with her, I believe quality relationships become friendships because of being trustworthy, reliable, and having at least some common interest. When I took psychology ages ago, we were taught that if a person had five to seven life-long friendships they would be very well adjusts and that not many people are.

Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another. Eustace Budgell Mimpi I found this quote to be quite apt. A friend to me is one who I can relate to, listen to and speak to. A person who I’m comfortable with, and one who I can share my happiness and sorrows with. At the same I should be unhesitatingly willing to be there for the person whenever required, expect nothing in return, understanding, trust and honesty. Till then they remain an acquaintance.This happens only over a period of time and after I have got to know and understand the other person well. You are right about the term being loosely used nowadays. Maybe it’s a social thing. Trying to prove that they are popular people and are well known. Maybe it’s also that they do it deliberately at times to with ulterior motives in mind. Then I think the internet and social networking sites too have a lot to do with it. We add people as friends into our network by pressing a button. But in reality the friendship will start to blossom over a period of time after interaction and sharing.

I think friendship has evolved to something different from what it has been known as for years. Friendship is as deep as you want it to be. Of course you wouldn't say your friendship is as deep with someone you just met as you would with someone you have known your entire life. At the same time there were some remarkable people that I have met along the road of life that i would definitely classify as friends.

Obfuscation in language is one of my pet peeves, so I side with you on this one, but in defense of those who err on the side of convenience I do admit that the pace of life has sped up in modern times to the point where many people simply do not have time to think things through and say what they mean or what they should mean. It is sad but true. So now we have many different levels of friendship, my friend (lol!)

Hi, mimpi! yep, I also feel the same. I mean, I am a very emotional and sensitive person, and when you tell me that you're my friend, I seriously take that. It's so hard for me to recover after being "betrayed" by a "friend"... Anyway, now I use the word friend to describe a person whom I feel so close with, like a Mylot friend. If I say that you're my friend, I really mean it, and I hope that that person feels the same and me considers me as a close person to him/her too.

I feel the same way too. Often people will refer to someone as their friend yet they are only people that they go to work with or just see around every now and then. And the term friends is overly used when people talk about their friends that they have. On the other hand though, since people online can also be your friends too if you get along with them well and it may be even a closer relationship than a friend you have in real life but you may not consider them your friend since you don't hang out with them.

I do so agree with you. Friendship has become the generalized term for all kinds of platonic relationships. Thus, there are varying degrees and increasing number of levels of 'friendship'. There are those classmates, acquaintances, friends of friends, real friends, close friends, closest friends, best friends, and other levels of friendship that are actually too many to count. Sometimes, even those strangers who one has talked to for a few minutes and who might still not know your name has already been called and considered as 'friend'. I guess it would be just up to us on how often we use that term. Though I think it would be awkward if we regard them as just acquaintances but they already considered us to be their 'friend', dont you think?

yes i agree in every point of yours since i too have scened this, i have only one or two friends and they are really good friends.well for other people whom i know i would just like to call them the people i know, because they are just like that, and they deserve that name. they are not my friends at all because they don't understand my feelings and they are just greedy people.

Yes sure it is. People these days consider anyone that they know " friends ". Thus, the word friends has truly lost its weight. Best Friends however have become the friends of the present. Thus, Best Friends now are like what regular friends were in the past.

I can understand what you are implying Mimpi.But are't many terms are misused and molested here.Sorry, important,urgent,I love you are few to name.Do the people who say these terms really mean it here.I can say a big 'No' to that.There is no conviction in anything they say or do.Words are very very precious and not just pieces of sound. They deserve the full meaning when they are uttered.It is never so in reality. Likewise friendship is a word which means something special.Not everyone you know cannot be your friend.It needs some personal and one of a kind relationship like the bondage between the husband and wife.And I too feel that the word friend cannot be used so loosely. A good discussion as always Mimpi.

I couldn't agree more actually. Take the concept of adding a "friend" here on mylot for example. Are all the people on your list really a friend in the truest sense of the word? In many instances they're not even acquintances! We've all become quite blase about it if you ask me. What I would like to know though, is that if we are calling pretty much anyone our friend these days, what are we supposed to refer to our true and close friends as now? You watch, it won't be long before "soul mate" starts getting bandied around and loses it's meaning also.

I do agree that people may use the term Friend much more often in terms of knowing someone vs being just an aquaintance with someone... I dont think that I do... I dont work in an office anymore so the people I hang out with is my family, and I talk alot with my neighbors but I wouldnt call them friends... I have a few friends that I do talk to online, and I actually feel there friendship is closer to me than some of the ones I have in person, as we are able to discuss things that I cant discuss with my friends/family in real life....LOL but that is good to have both. happy mylotting.

No I think friendship word mean all for one and one for all and nothing gona change that otherwise it cancel it mean by betraying one to another and reverse it to where the connection was beggin

ya ya ya,I found this problem too!what is friend and who's gonna be our friends?isn't somebody that we are not close to is also consider friends?or someone that we meet in a party and do not have any conversation is also called friends? and what about we only knew their names?they are also called friends or they're just an acquaintances?

This sounds showbiz. What make friends a real friends are tested by time, those who are always there for you no matter what. I think a relationship with a friend is a bit deeper than the person you've just acquainted with. It sounds cliche when people talking with the term friends (e.g.,"we're just friends"). We can have many friends and acquaintances, but the essence of being a friend is genuine.