When it comes to behavior around your kids, what bothers you the most?
By II2aTee
@II2aTee (2559)
United States
May 11, 2009 10:53am CST
When it comes to adults behavior around kids, I have 3 pet peeves. I hate it when people smoke around kids. I hate it when people swear and use foul language around kids, and I hate it when people display inappropriate affection around kids (making out). A hug or a kiss is fine, but if there are kids around, you don’t need to be feeling your partner up or playing tonsil hockey.
So my question to you, is which one of these offenses is the worst?
Lets say you are walking down the street with your child. Would you get more upset if someone blew smoke in their face, if they were cussing and swearing, or if there was a couple making out on a park bench.
For me, it would be:
1- Swearing because kids pick up on foul language and when they see adults cuss they think maybe if they use swear words maybe they will seem more grown up.
2-Smoking because of the obvious health hazzards.
3- PDA (public displays of affection) because I know that -I- dont want to see people making out on the street.. I wouldnt wants my kids to see it either. Its just trashy.
So how about you? How would you rank these social offenses? Can you think of any others that annoy you?
9 responses
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
11 May 09
I would second the smoking one for sure. Since my son has been born I am constantly saying please dont smoke around him. Do you think they stop. No. They just wip out a ciggarette and light it up. It makes me mad. FIghting would be another one for me. My fiance and I avoid fighting or arguing in front of our son but when others start screaming or fighting around him I try to get him away from it because I dont want it to affect him in the long run. I would also say foul language. My son constantly learns new words. This made me mad a year ago. It was halloween. My son was learning new words. My friend thought it was funny and taught him to say bi***. So he kept saying it off and on for a month. I kept doing tips like ignoring it or replacing it with other similar words like catch or something. Every now and then though he will say it. I dont punish him because its not his fault but I do try to correct him.
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@olydove (1209)
• United States
12 May 09
Yeah smoking was the cool thing when I was a child also and I am currently a smoker with 2 kids at home BUT.......
There is NO SMOKING in my house or my car. I do not allow it at all period. My boys know I have tried to quit and tried again and again and they see how difficult it is. I am so glad that smoking is frowned upon now by many young people hopefully it will bring a good change to the next generation.
For me the smoking would be the first on the list, most important on the list because while foul words are easily picked up by children, they can be taught to not say them, but if a child picks up lung cancer from second hand smoke.... You can't teach that to go away!
Public displays of affection indeed need to be in a decent manner as you said a kiss or hug even holding hands but for Pete's sakes people keep your tongues in your mouth and your hands in appropriate places while you're out in public!
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 May 09
Hi Tee, Like you I hate it when people smoke of use foul language around kids. As for making out, I don't think such public displays of affection was ever accepted by my generation. I can't remember seeing any of it when I was growing up - maybe things were too hidden then. I think that there is a time and place for such affection and I don't think it is around children. Of course, as you say a hug and a kiss is fine, even necessary in my opinion, as it speaks of love. Anything more however, falls into the category of lust. Blessings.
@II2aTee (2559)
• United States
11 May 09
It does seem like its getting harder and harder to sheild our childrens eyes from innapropriate behavior these days, dosent it? Even if its not out on the street, its all over the movies, TV and internet. I do not have kids, but I have a neice and a nephew. Every day I wonder how my sister manages to be such an awesome mom. Her kids are polite, curtious, and well mannered. I always tell her she should teach a class on good parenting... I have no idea how she manages to pull it off, when it seems like all the odds are against her!
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
16 May 09
It didn't occur to me to mention some of my own pet peeves.
The things that do bother me more than your examples...
Racist jokes...Racist behavior or talking about their racist or bigoted sentiments.
Gossiping in front of kids.
Lying or cheating in front of kids.
Someone mentioned fighting in front of kids. I think that depends and they type of argument. An argument in which the adults are simply disagreeing but still remaining relatively respectful, I'm okay with. But once they start getting out have hand either verbally or physically, then that crosses the line.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
16 May 09
I tend not to overreact to things, but yeah the behaviors you mentioned are objectionable.
I think the order for me would be
1 - PDA's - like you said, a kiss or a hug is okay but tonsil hockey or groping? c'mon folks! get a room!
2- cursing - ironically, although I'm guilty of having a horrible potty mouth, even in front of my own children, I do not curse under certain circumstances. Around other peoples children, especially small children. Out in public where I don't know how the people around me feel about cursing. In front of most of my extended family. There is absolutely no logic to how I feel on this one...I curse in front of my kids, but I am completely offended when my niece curses in front of me and it bothers me when my kids curse, despite knowing I'm setting a horrible example for them.
3 - Smoking - I guess it's at the bottom because it really hasn't happened. Sure it would bother me, but I'd either say something or move away. Oddly very few of my friends are smokers and my acquaintances who are have decent manners about it.
They'll even walk away from a group of adults to go smoke.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
12 May 09
There are plenty of actions that i hate it when people do it infront of my kids..
1. smoking! obviously it is dangerous and a health hazard.. i really do tell them to not smoke infront of my kids
2. swearing, they easily catch cuss words!
3. making out..because it elicit so many questions from the kids on why they are doing tha and so on and so forth...
4. fighting i hate it when i see people fighting in front of my kids, like couples fighting and arguing in front of them, they see violence in that...
@flutterbykisses (593)
• United States
11 May 09
Probably the worse one for me is some smoker blowing smoke in my childs face or smoking around them period.
If you want to ruin your lungs and die young so be it, but stay away from my kids because I want them to live a long and happy life.
Then it would probably be cursing. This isn't something that I think alot of kids pay attention to anymore becasue of hearing it on TV and movies and just about anyplace they go. You just have to realize that they are going to repeat things and it is up to the parent to let the child know that is not appropriate talk and will not be tolerated. That people who talk like that are being bad .
Then we have the lovers in public. You know I think this is the most disgusting thing that can be done in public is to sit and make out in front of a bunch of strangers. Hey if you want to do that go home.make a video and sell it. Make yourself some money and then little eyes that don't need to see these things will not be exposed to them.
flutterby
@CallMeDaddy (535)
• United States
11 May 09
I'm not a big fan of people being drunk and obnoxious around my kids all the time. It just makes me as well as my children uncomfortable. I had a buddy of mine who would just get drunk as he can all of the time. I didn't like it and the kids didn't like it. I think as an adult you have to be responsible enough to realize that there are children present and respect that.
@pawilliams1 (51)
•
11 May 09
Hmm... there are many things that people do around my children that I find annoying.
Firstly, there is smoking (although I smoke myself, I always go outside or wait until there are no children around and certainly neither of my children have ever seen me smoke!). Statistically, children who see their parents smoke are more likely to smoke later on and none of us would want our children to take up something that is going to harm them.
Secondly, there is behaving like a lout. Not just swearing, but general bad behaviour including swearing. Where I live, there are what we call "chavs" who are basically young people who wear baseball caps and hooded tops. They behave aggressively all of the time and are often intimidating.
Thirdly, there is selfishness. Being selfish in front of children only encourages them to be selfish because children will mimic what they see adults do.
Fourthly, there are interfering busybodies who think they know more about caring for your children than you do! I don't mean healthcare professionals, I mean those random people that just walk up to you and start telling you how to feed/clothe/bathe/care for your child. I don't know if they do this because I am a man and they think that as such I am incapable of looking after a child. These people really get my goat!
I think that's about it. People "making out" don't worry as such, although if they were in fact in flagrante so to speak I would be concerned. But a bit of snogging is fine - I would rather that my child saw two people being loving towards each other than being violent.
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
11 May 09
I like your list but I have a few peeves that are not on it:
1) racial comments made in front of children. I know many people who will make negative racial comments in front of their children like nothing is wrong with saying things like that.
2) people who actually tell their kids that they are dumb and will never need what they are learning in school. It happens and it drives me crazy, who are you to tell anyone what kind of education they are not going to need, all that happens in this situation is a child gives up on his/her dreams.
The third one is where your list comes in and I would have to say, swearing then smoking then PDA. The only reason swearing comes first is because children repeat everything even if they do not understand it. That is also my reason for my number one.
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