Lying Best Friend, Keep or Let Go???

My best friend has shared my life for 45 years and is like the sister I never had. When the bad things happen, we have to share it with each other right away, and the same with the good things. A wedding is up there among the very best, and I can't believe your friend would not want you to be part of it. When I remarried 10 years ago, we left some members of the family off the guest list, but I would never have omitted my friend. She is too much a part of my life. Not only has your friend lied to you, he has lived the lie for over a year. That he says he didn't want to hurt you suggests that either he was hoping to be more than friends, or he thought that you were. This shows he doesn't really know you at all. And can you ever trust him again? Remember, he has also lied by omission to his wife, if she doesn't know about you. That's the trouble with lies - they grow and weave a web of deceit around everyone they touch. It's your decision, but I would cut loose from this man now. He doesn't deserve your friendship, and you deserve better friends.

I wouldn't let him go just yet. It's strange that he would think that telling you would be hurtful - unless you're secretly in love with him (and he knew that), there's no reason you would be HURT by the fact that he had gotten married - I'm sure you'd be ecstatic and very happy for him if he had told you the news. That's what friends do. It wasn't fair for him to withhold that kind of information from you. You should confront him about it (if you havne't already) and let him know that it really upset you that he didn't tell you such an important detail of his life. Let him know that telling the truth is very important to you in a friendship - and if he refuses to do so or if you catch him lying to you again, drop him!

Lying friend? Well I have had one and I did not let her stay in my life. I got rid of her immediately. I have no patience with liars and can't last a day with them. Satan is father of all liars actually so why would I befriend a person like that. So in my case, I never want to get involve or have any association with liars. If I found a friend to be liar, I'd talk with her and discuss the possibility of changing her but if I found she is not interested to change then I'd let go of her.

I wouldn't say he was lying about it. He just kept the news from you because he thought you may have been upset or possibly get jealous. Find it in your heart to forgive him because he didn't lie. I had been friends with a guy for 4 and half years. I had caught my friend lying because I feel that he didn't want to hurt me. But I eventually got the truth out of him. If he had told me the truth in the first place, we could have worked things out but it really got out of hand. He said something really nasty to me about the way I thought of him. He even accused me of doing something I don't do. I was really shattered because I thought of him like my brother. He was my strength. He was the one that picked me up when I was feeling down. He supported me like no one else has when it came to my marriage. He would say don't give up on your marriage while my other friends would say, leave your husband because you will be happier without him. Now I am lost without my friend. When I need a males point of view when it comes to a problem I have, I have no one that I can trust to turn to. I would really like to patch things up but it is going to be hard while he is in a relationship where the woman, I believe was jealous of the friendship. I feel that she did what she did for him to lose trust in me. She made me look bad. She played her cards right and successfully destroyed the friendship. She had never met me face to face or really got to know me. We only chatted online for 2 weeks. This also made me upset because I did want get to know her and I know it takes time to get to know some one. I did want to be friends with her because I was starting to like her and I felt that I could have enjoyed going to lunches with her. If she did have any problems with her partner/my friend, I could have helped her. He is a decent man and she is very lucky to have him. But what she did to him, she hurt him by making me look bad, she doesn't deserve him. He thinks, I was hurting him because of what she was saying about me. But only if he knows the real truth, he will discover that it was her that was playing the cards all along. He fell for it and so did I by ending the friendship. I do have a card up my own sleeve. I don't know if I will play it because if it works out the way I think it could, it will hurt him and it the last thing I want to do because he does deserve happiness with whom ever he chooses. If my card it played, he may not trust women ever again, because he was betrayed by his ex- wife, he thinks I have betrayed him, and if the truth comes out, he will be betrayed by her. And with what I have planned, I want to do it because it could prove I was tellhing him the truth and clear my name, but it will also bring me down to her level and I know I am better than that. At the same time, I don't want to do it because I know it will break him. It could destroy his relationship with her. It is the last thing I want to do. But as I was reading your situation, I wished your situation was mine. At least it would have been better.

Find out from him if he thought you liked him more than just friends. He might have thought you had feelings for him and that's why he didn't tell you. If he's your best friend don't just throw that away. Find out wha happened and go from there. I know it's a shock and you don't get it right now but all you can do is forgive and move on. Good luck!!

I think you should take it easy. Everyone has their own right to decide what to and what not to share with others. It is just natural that he may not want to disclose certain part of his life to you. About let go or not, it really depends on how much you still trust this guy and how much you are still willing to open to him. For instance, are you going to be as open about yourself as before? In case you won't (or simply, you can't), then you are already letting go of him. Don't be upset. It is life. And life is full of unexpected. It is what makes life interesting.

I think you should keep him. We should recognize that we are not perfect individuals. We make mistakes and we make decisions that are somewhat unsensible that for other people it looks outrageous, right?We need to think beyond are own understanding and put or imagine ourselves in the position of that person and ask ourselves if ever we are in that situtation will I also have the same decision or will I choose a different solution to the same problem. It's good that when you confronted him, he immediately admitted rather than denying. Maybe, he's just afraid of telling you because he might be thinking you would not approve the girl for him or maybe during that point in his life he was confused and don't know what to do next. We have to understand also that men thinks differently than women. Men, sometimes when put in a situation that they can't handle suddenly panicks and can't decide on what they are going to do. That's how they are. We have to widen our perspective and my advice is to let him know and honestly tell him that you have been hurt when he didn't told you about his new status and that you should told him that you were happy if he is happy and let him feel that despite his shortcomings you were willing to give him a second chance for your friendship. Because I believe everbody deserves a second chance to prove their worth.

That is a very tough choice. Your friend did make a big mistake, but I think it's better to forget and move on than to just lose an important person in your life. Now you just have to tell your friend that he has to earn your trust back.