Are Arranged Marriages good ?

Hi, I go with arranged marriage. Because your parents knew what you like and what you don't like. They brought up over 18+ years. I think they will know a lot more about you more than you you know yourself! Cheers forcashksd

Oh,I don't like arranged marriages.I think through talk and get along with somebody for some time,we will know wether the guy fits to you.

In my country it is seldom the practice anymore. I think the one that should marry should be the one who he/she likes to marry. In arranged marriages that is not possible anymore and usually it is the women that suffer the most since they have to adjust with who they will be and not in their choice anymore. Parents responsibility on their children ends when the time comes the child decides to marry the person he/she loves. It is not the duty of the parent to find a suitable husband or wife for their children because it is the responsibility of the child to choose who she freely love and offer his/her life with.

Dear Renuka, I got married by Arranged Marriage, and it is working out fine. You have asked the opinion of people who have been successful. I think you need to define what you consider suceess in this case. Is it same as staying married till end of life? Or you wnat the couple to have always the feeling that they are made for each other. For one thing Arranged Marriages are based on certain lasting values and ephemeral things like "mutual attraction" are given the go-by. The concept is built around holding onto family values and within Hinduism, marriage is a sacred bond meant for the couple to aid each other reach the goal of life, which according to Hinduism is moksha or liberation, from the cycle of births and deaths. That is why importance is placed in arranged marriages about the matching of all sorts of backgrounds like caste,community, economic and social status etc., When a couple is matched on all these counts which couls become a thorn later if in the 'blinded by passion'(quite possible) Love Marriages are discovered at a later date,when amends cannot be made a whole life had been laid a waste. But then honestly I must confess with the inevitable change coming over in the thought processes of different generations, the question of compatibility still remains a mystery even though all those horoscopal techniques are used to see the best fit. There is likely to be quite a bit of incompatibility between couples married arranged. But they continue to live in deference to the choice made by parents. This done as a mark of thankfulness to parents. This is because family ties are placed above the individual in the Aryan(=Vedic)culture.

Here in the Philippines arranged marriage are seldom practice. I think this kind of marriage is not successful sometimes it is end up in divorce. We have the right to choose whom we gonna marry or we going to love. Parents sometimes have disagreements but I think it is not a hindrance. Although sometimes we need to listen for their advices.

At this point, I think you can grow to love anyone over time. Passionate infatuations always fade, so you're left with the same deeper but far quieter, less flashy love that you'd grow to feel for someone you weren't initially 'in love' with. That being said, I still think it should be the right of the individual to decide whom they marry, not their parents. As for me, I don't live in a culture where anyone would be at liberty to arrange a marriage for me, but as I said I don't believe in the type of 'love' (lust and a desire to possess) upon which most people marry, and would not necessarily be averse to the idea. I don't think you'll find many westerners at all who'd say that, but I don't believe arranged marriages are any different in the end.

I am not in favor of arranged marriages, although I know this is a tradition in India and Pakistan, and perhaps practiced also to some extent in Sri Lanka and China. Of course, the parents do this in good faith and with good intentions, to ensure that their son or daughter marry into a family that befits their social or wealth status, educational background or the kind of attributes they want their in-laws to have. While that matching may serve them well at the family level, marriage should really be a life-long commitment between two individuals, and is borne out of love and care for each other. You can't buy someone's heart. Love has to be felt and experienced. If there is no real love and bonding experienced between the two individuals who joined in marriage simply because their parents arranged it for them with or without their knowledge, then that marriage may run into jeopardy over time, leading to possible separation. Divorce may be a taboo, disgrace on the family name or curse for these families, and if that is so, what do we get? Two individuals who are stuck together for life, not by their own choice, and without genuine love and care for each other.

Hi friend, you are very much correct that the arranged marriage is more than 90 % successfull. In fact in my view peoples of Asian regions are more serious for life long relationship while in European regions according to my knowledge their marriage or relationship will work till they are comfortable in such relationship. Most of the arranged marriages are fixed on the basis family background and by some of common peoples from both families so it is not easy to breakup and will continue in most worst cases due such involvements. In fact such process will always helpful in improving relationship and clearing misunderstanding to avoid breakups. Arranged marriages are realy good for life a sucessful long relationship and married life.

There is nothing better than having the freedom to choose your partner for life so arrange marriage is not at all acceptable to me. I'm glad I chose my own husband and no one chose him for me. I made the right choice and we are living a very happy and blessed life. Arranged marriage? Well others may have find it successful for them, but mostly I think did not really find happiness in this arrangement.

My parents got together though arrange marriage and I can see the love between them. Alright that they get into some fights every now and then but there is a fight in every couple, be it a love or arranged. I always believe in arranged marriage. I mean my parents are having vast experience and they can think better to I. thus, they are the best to find partners for me.

Hi Renukachohan, We have arranged marriaged in China as well. In the old times, parents have the rights to pick the husband of wife for their kids, and kids can not say no to their parents. Now a days, this is no longer exist, but still parents have the rights to agree or disagree on their kid's marriage. Now, back to your subject, are arranged marriages good? It depends, sometimes, if one of them loved someone else, but they have to boken-up because their parents did not agreed they to be together, then the new couple will have problems, i would say they will not be happy together. But, if those two are all single, and they might like each other, then even their marriage is been arranged, they will still be happy together.

in my own opinion, arranged marriage her in the Philippines would limit to the family who's have a parents very strict to there children, especially if they have top level of status which can be called ' rich '. most of the parents also wants to have a contentment to their daughter and son, would they really prefer to have arranged marriage. i have my auntie who's suffer that kind of situation an arranged marriage. she not really love her husband but because of her parents she don't have any choice to agree with them. now they have 4 children, my auntie doesn't feel anything, they finally broke up their relationship and until now they both good friends of her ex-husband.

Now days there have been some changes in arranged marriage . Yes parent do select the partner but it just the first step . Now days children also participate what their parents bring for them . I mean if my parent will choose any guy for me i will not blindly marry him . I will meet him personally and we will try to get to know each other . And if i think he will match to my nature i will show green flag to my parents . So yes , now days arranged marriage is not all arranged but its the best practice for a happy life . If you consider the divorce count then you will see India has got very least percentage of divorce in comparison to other countries . This is because we match status , background plus agreement of both groom and bride which makes them fully satisfied about their life partner .

Hello Renuka, you cannot judge just on some presumptions. I know arranged marriages that have been blissful, and have also seen love marriages that are a complete mess. Mine is a beautiful love marriage, touch wood. If you do go in for love marriage, make sure both your families accept the marriage, else it would lead to problems later in life. Also, if you do go in for arranged marriage, let your parents choose the match, whom you can later get to know well through constant communication, and then decide if you can get along. Arranged or chosen by self, every marriage has to have some adjustments. The foundation of a solid marriage is the trust, understanding, affection, communication and love shared between the two partners.

It seems that marrying for love alone is a somewhat modern notion. And considering the divorce rate in the United States it doesn't necessarily seem to be working.

Well, arranged marriages are like gambling. Suppose you are getting married with a girl you don't know and haven't met before. Her parents will tell her to behave well before you. She'll speak less, move less, etc. So what you see in her is a mellowed down and censored version. You never know how she is in real life. Its a risk. She could be worse or better. You never find out until you go out with her a little, which traditionally doesn't happen. You might at most, talk with her on the phone, meet at her house, etc... I am speaking from a guys prospective, even from a girl's prospective, this holds true...

I'm Western but I had an Indian boss v.v. early in my career who had an arranged marriage. She and her husband were very happy, but they had a son and were DETERMINED he be allowed to pick his own girlfriends etc. They were very Westernized, but of quite high caste. Another Indian man worked in the same dept as me and my boss absolutely hated him cos of the caste system - he had a daughter and she was constantly worried her son might somehow end up falling in love with her! (not likely as the kid was 9) She didn't mind her son dating English (i.e. native) girls. She'd rather he did that than end up dating someone of a lower caste, as she seemed to have this idea that all educated white English girls living in London were somehow related to the aristocracy! My dad was a postman and I lived in a house with an outside loo! Once she saw my Dad's post office badge she decided I was a good 'catch' and kept inviting me round for tea and bundling me and her son into the front room together - he looked terrified! We both agreed to 'be friends' to keep his mother happy - neither of us wanted to settle down but he said, 'If I meet a girl of a lower caste and I love her, I'll marry her even if she's a damn untouchable!' Later on, one Indian girl he did start dating - she was also quite westernized - admitted to me she liked him but he was a bit immature; a mummy's boy and a 'bit of a pillock.' Mrs 'George' and her kid 'Sonny' (never did find out what their real names were) left me with many happy memories. As for your original question - I think it all depends on those getting married and how they feel about each other in the long run. We never do know the people we marry till we've lived with them for a while. In the UK arranged marriages were common in the 18th/19th century, and in some ways still are in the aristocracy. I don't think Charles would be too happy if HIS son decided to marry a postman's daughter!

I wonder how a arranged marriage can have success. In my opinion, to stay a life with a stranger...is so painful. Maybe in other countryes this is a practice, but i am sure that 2 peoples can t be happy if somebody else decide who are better for them.

NO! People deserve to be in love to be married. Although I won't disagree with any religions, this is my personal view.

Marriage is very important decision of one's life. It is not only the union of two people but a union of two or more families. Lucky are those whose marriage is a blend of love and arranged marriage. Taking parent in confidence before taking this vital decision of marriage is indeed praiseworth. we must know that our parents love us to the core. They are going to take any wrong decision for us. We must believe them. You should mention your choice before them, and then let them decide. Rest assured their decision never goes wrong, I believe,