Ever Been Through A Period When Your Life Is On Hold?
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
May 15, 2009 3:29pm CST
I think we have all experienced being in a 'rut' with life and feeling that we are not moving forward, when we have so many plans and ambitions and hopes for ourselves, dreams, wishes etc...
But sometimes our lives seem to go through a mud patch where all we can do is get frustrated, flustered and impatient because nothing seems to be happening, we can't get anywhere, can't do anything, it's as if our life is in permanent stasis, someone has pressed the pause button on our remote control and we are well and truly stuck!
You can see what you want to do, you have visions, you have pictures in your head of where you want your life heading, but it seems impossible, seems well out of grasp and you sit back, sigh heavily and feel totally deflated and everything seems too much and unachievable.
When things start to get on top of you and you really feel that your life is suddenly on hold you can't move forward, how do you get through it?
It's a temporary thing someone told me, but when weeks start flying past, turning into months then a year it's like, how temporary can it be, there comes to a point where you just want to take the stabilizers off and move forward and start living life the way you want to live life
So how do you feel or cope when your life is on hold and when nothing seems to improve or the barriers become immovable and you just can't click off the pause button?
3 people like this
11 responses
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
16 May 09
I went through a period like that just recently. I had a 3 1/2 year relationship end, moved in with my daughter, temporarily. I couldn't really move on with my life, as I was waiting to drive the 7 hours back for a doctor appointment, injury that was work related. I was recieving workman's comp, when all I really wanted to do was work! I basically had to sit around and wait, and wait lol. But, things were starting to take a turn for the better, although it seemed at times it was taking forever. May 5th, I saw the doctor, got a full release back to work, resigned from my job, and left Pa for the final time. I got my applications sent off to Texas, I am now engaged to a wonderful man who is also a fellow firefighter, he does structure, I do wildland firefighting. There was plenty of times that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay there, or cry.....but I'm not the type to give in to either of those options.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 May 09
I guess your patience, persistence and perserverance paid off big time, a lot of us, I included are guilty of burying our heads in the sand or preferring to stay in bed and let it all go away! But we have to be proactive in our lives. I've read it all in the books etc, but trouble is theory is far easier than putting it into practice. However I am really pleased your life had a happy ending and there was light at the end of the tunnel for you, enjoy!
2 people like this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
17 May 09
Oh there was plenty of times I felt like sticking my head back under the covers. but there is too much to see out there (points at the window) and lots of pictures to take lol. And sometimes I just tell myself "I saw there was nothing I could do, so I just kept taking pictures" LOL
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
21 May 09
Yes, I think my life is a bit 'on hold' at the moment. My husband is ready to retire from work at any time - we want to sell up and move somewhere warmer so we don't have to go through any more winters. The place we want to go to is a LONG way from here (about 4000kms) - and of course we worry about family members we'll leave behind. We have a 21yo son still living at home, as he's finishing his apprenticeship - and we'd like to see him settled and financially able to afford to rent somewhere, before we leave. So, everything is a bit up in the air at the moment. My husband could leave work any day - he's over it - and he's just hanging in there so our superannuation payment will improve. Because of all this, I don't really feel settled at the moment.
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
15 May 09
My life's been on hold since my first child was born and 30 odd years later it's still there. I think it was John Lennon who said, 'Life's what happens while you're busy making plans'. I wouldn't change much about my life because things eventually work out.
Just do whatever you can and go with the flow, things always get better. Unless you're a parent.
@nannacroc (4049)
•
15 May 09
That is one song that I never wnat to hear again because of the way it was used politically. I often think of Chumbawumbas song when I feel as if things are agains me, 'You're Never Gonna Keep Me Down'.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
16 May 09
Hi Wolfie, Think I am experiencing a bit of that in my life right now, just going through the motions and in that dip but it is only for a season I will ride it out knowing that there is something more positive up ahead to balance todays situation. Huggles. Ellie :D
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 May 09
I guess you have to experience the dips to enjoy the peaks in life my friend! One of my weaknesses is impatience, I need to curb it and learn to tolerate the wait, if I got everything at once life would be pretty drab. Thank you my friend ;0)
2 people like this
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
3 Jul 09
At one point it felt as if my life was on hold for nearly 45 years! I'm not kidding. It wasn't until I ended up in a shelter and signed myself up for Disability and finally got it and got my apartment did I feel that life was finally moving forward for me. So, I can totally relate to what you are saying. My life has improved dramatically, although, I'm still dealing with my constant depression. I feel more in control of my life.
I hope things get better for you too, hon!
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
3 Jul 09
I think only when you reach rock bottom in life that you realize just how bad things are and the only way is up. Life gives us some raw deals for sure if we can survive them we do become stronger in ourselves, we don't realize at the time when we go through the hell. I am glad things have changed for you dear friend, I hope the time comes when I can look back and this 'bad time' in my life and say yes I got over it and I become stronger, but right now I just feel it's a big mountain to climb before I can get to that point but at least I have started my counseling today so I will have help along the way ;0)
1 person likes this
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Yea, at times the road can seem too long and too painful, but, I know that you will get through it, wolfie. We can pray for each other :)
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
16 May 09
I've felt stuck before. I call it living in limbo because you're really not moving anywhere. I do think that things around us effect us, but also thing we convince ourselves we can't and then can't turns to won't and then we realize where all this time is. Sometimes it can't be helped. Like financially I've got some pretty big plans for my home, but money and yes even time are against me. There is also the how do I do it and have crippled my ownself in that thinking.
1 person likes this
@IedynRose (79)
• United States
16 May 09
Taking ownership of your thoughts and actions is imperative! I'm gald you seem to be on the path to realizing that you create you own destiny. There is really only one thing in this world that we have absolute control over: How we ALLOW things to effect us. Though negative, there is progression in your thoughts.. OWN IT and OVERCOME IT.. Besos Baabi
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
17 May 09
People do create their own, but the path to getting there is a hard one. Once a person realizes they own it, yes then can change it. But getting to the point where they own it isn't an easy process and no one should be looked down on or not realizing it.
No saying you do, but also saying that it can be a long, painful process. Once it is mastered then it can be liberating.
1 person likes this
@IedynRose (79)
• United States
17 May 09
no one ever said life was gonna be easy darlin'.. and quite frankly if it is, then somebody is coasting. I don't look down on people for struggling in life, it is not my place to judge any man in this world. I do however look differently at people who constantly present themselves as the victim, not so differently that I feel they are any less than the next person. It saddens me to see somebody with so much self doubt because I know that we all have been given the tools to acheive greatness.
1 person likes this
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@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
13 Jun 09
Yup...long long years. I think, for most of us, life is meant to be bland and uneventful. Then again, I guess we ought to learn the art of converting the ordinary to the extraordinary...see the magic in life. Then maybe those long "pauses" might stop. :)
Cheers and happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
15 May 09
I feel like that right now. I have been out of work for a year and feel like I'm going no where fast. I am taking up a course of learning to write children's books. But I just try not to think about how fast time is passing and hope and pray my dreams will come true soon. If I think about it for to long I get depressed and I don't want to go there.
1 person likes this
@foisgras (205)
• Sweden
16 May 09
Hi wolfie34,
I think I know what you are talking about.
Mine started in 1997 when I met a car accident.
I lost my job, eventually marriage, economy, physical pain, depression.
Oh you name it, I have it!
But what pulls me back and I am proud of, is the foundation my parents have given me, MY FAITH. Without it, I do not think I will still be fighting for a cause.
Life is beautiful when there are so many colors that inspires us!
These colors I am referring to are the stop-overs we make.
These colors are opportunities and challenges.
A pause to think and give God the chance to do things for us.
In HIS time not MINE.
I am reading a book "Like the Flowing River," by Paulo Coelho.
I would like to share to you the following.
On p.117 Status for the New Millenium:
"3. Each human being was given two qualities: power & the gift.
Power directs us towards our destiny, the gift obliges us to share with others what is best in us."
"9. Every human being should know two languages, the language of society and the language of signs. One serves to communicate with other people, the other serves to understand God's messages."
"11. Every human being should keep alive within them the sacred flame of madness, but should behave as a normal person."
On p. 121 "If you don't wake up early enough, you will never get to see the sunrise.
And although God is always close, if you don't pray, you will never manage to feel His presence."
Let yourself ponder around this for a moment.
FAITH, LOVE & HOPE are the key words for me.
Take care .....
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 May 09
Thank you for sharing, I find that what mother nature has provided us with should be appreciated on a daily basis, when you stop taking life and everything life has to offer for granted then you can appreciate what we have, our lives are so precious yet over so quickly.
1 person likes this
@IedynRose (79)
• United States
16 May 09
Your life.. is just that darlin'.. YOUR life.. if its onhold then you are the one putting it there, whether you choose to admit that or not. Simply put, take your finger off the pause button. Ask your self simple questions: HOW did I get here? Why am I still here? and WHAT am I WILLING to do to move forward? You have to take ownership of your current situation before you can overcome it. Remove the negative tones from your thoughts and conversations. EXAMPLE: "We can't get anywhere, Can't do anything.." You are creating a self fulfilling prophecy. If you are stuck, you will belive you are stuck, if you believe you are stuck.. well then Wolfie I guess your stuck..lol. Instead, perhaps you should be thinking: My life is progressing at differnt pace than I had anticipated, I need to get back on track. Then set 5 small goals that will help you do this.. they don't have to be large. All you need is something you can check off your list so you can feel that overdue sense of accomplishment. Sometimes people try to take Jolly Green Giant steps in life and get frustrated because they don't realize their legs haven't grown quite that large yet (make sense?).
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 May 09
Yes, thank you that makes perfect sense, I guess it's the small steps that count, rather than taking huge gigantic steps and when you don't make them you feel that you have failed. I know it's all about having a PMA positive mental attitude and yes in way people and circumstance do affect me in life. It's also about stepping outside of your comfort zone, your subconscious mind keeps you in your comfort zone where it wants you to belong, start stepping out and your subconscious starts throwing obstacles in the way and telling you, you can't do it, no you will fail, give up now! It's doing a battle with your unconscious and this is where I believe the inner child comes into effect, if you do something new or try something which is outside the comfort zone the child will have a major tantrum and starts to get spiteful. I am in the process of trying to heal that inner child and what it is about me that is holding me back all the time.
1 person likes this
@IedynRose (79)
• United States
18 May 09
We are our own biggest enemy in life... lol.. Generally, people know their faults, they know what it takes to overcome them. The problem (in my opinion), is that most of us are scared. Scared of failure.. well failure of self anyway. If you sit "on pause" and let opportunities pass you buy and invest no real energy or effort on your own behalf then you can "justify" that things are beyond your control. But the reality is that your just coning yourself because had you invested a little more of yourself you would in all probability have had a different outcome or be in a different situation. I have come to accept one thing in life as an absolute truth: There are times when the answer is NO, but nothing is definitive until ALL options have been exhausted. Who determines when your options have been exhausted? YOU DO.. anybody who tell you differently better be walking on water..lol...
1 person likes this
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