Parental / Childhood unresolved issues

The more he is involved with your family, time, and space... That phone call may come sooner then you think.. And like Shauna said, " you cant miss what you never had". Thats a very good point. Somethings are just not worth pushing.

There are things I know he has not talked to me about and there are things he has which I do understand him having resentment towards his family and good reasons for it. My family has made him part of the family but sometimes he pushes them away and me also I guess I am hard headed because I keep sticking around for 7 years now.

I am always praying for him to somehow get past the anger with his family and I think one day he will I don't really push it as much as it probably sounds I just will bring it up when he is having one of those days where he is angry that he does not have his mother or siblings in his life.

I know there are reasons some I am sure he has not shared. His mother lives in Florida and we live in Idaho so it is very hard to try and work on getting him back together with his family but I know that when we have the opportunity to visit florida which is where we plan on retiring I would definatly try to include a visit to her .

I think that is the hardest part for him that he will need to take the first step and he is stubborn that way although he is probably right and justful in his feelings and anger I think deep down he realizes the only way things will change with his family is if he steps forward and it makes him angry that is has to be him.

Thank you for the BR! :)

I do know this and it does make me sad, I think his family is a very heartless bunch I don't know if it is because they grew up with the luxeries of not hurting for anything or what. I don't know how I got so fortunate to have such a strong bond with my family but I thank god for my family everyday. It just makes me sad that his mother is so distant I have 6 of my own children and I am not really as close to them as I would like but I know that I would not want anything to go unsaid between us for as many years as it has for him.

Having 6 children was pretty hard for me I was single through most of their lives. My husband I met about 7 years ago and he wanted to be part of mine and my chldrens lives. It was definately hard for my younger 3 children to get use to having a man around there father well that is another story. But now my older 3 are grown and living miles away it is hard sometimes to maintain contact except by telephone which I try to call them at least once every few weeks.

Wow, having 6 kids thats a lot of work... The way you can make sure that you keep close with all of your children is to try to spend some quaity time with each one, may not be every day due do the lack of time in a day, but try to do something with each one on an indivdual basis...like may be once a week with each one, it could only be 15 mintues but its time set aside for each child to be the center of your attention.. which children thrive on... Another piece of advice would have to be; allow your children to be indivduals, if one child doesnt do the same thing as the other, dont compare them... That causes tension between the siblings... Also if you set a ground rule like; no staying out after 8 o'clock on a school night for your 14 year old, dont expect your 16 year old to be home at the same time, since their are older... and/or change the rules half way through the children , curfews and such... that just creates jealous, and feeling like the older ones were short changed... being consentant with all of you children is important.. Or they will feel short changed... IF you go to a basketball game for one, expect that you have to do the same for all... I hope you see where I am getting on this one.. if you want more advice let me know... have a lot of do's and don't with that many kids... for over a year I lived with my ex-brother inlaw and my son with his children we also had six... so i know where you are coming from... Oh yea before I forget.. your husband will handle it the best way he knows how.. at least he has you, your 6 kids, and all of your family...

Acceptance and Forgiveness I think are very hard for him to do I am only able to be there and try to help him and maybe by examples with my family he will learn.

I do try to do that often and ultimately I realize it is his choice to take action or not. I do tell him that I am his family now and he is my best friend.

I do feel very blessed my family never had money we grew up very poor unlike his family who has money and the ability to do things. Total opposites I know. I let him know I love and support him constantly and appreciate the hard work he does to support our family which are children that are not even his. I pray that someday his mother and his siblings will come around and realize this. I know his mothers biggest problem is she does not really like me because we have different opinions on things regarding my children and I don't let her influence my decisions.

I know it sometimes is hard because when he is having a bad day he gets sad which he doesnt show me very often (which frustrates me) because I think he should be able to open up to me but I realize he has had a rough childhood so I do understand and I met his mother and she is not the most compassionate person she actually doesnt really care for me because I handle all the finances in the family and she doesnt think I do a good enough job which is really none of her business but I try to be respectful to her for his sake when they are talking.