Does a Man has right to beat his wife?
By deepika201
@deepika201 (268)
India
May 18, 2009 10:22am CST
Today when i was coming from my office ,i saw a man beating his wife.As i am against domestic violence, I went and scolded the man and told that i will call the Police.But to my utter surprise the woman scolded me and told me to my mind my work and told me not to interfere in their family matter .To add to the surprise the woman told me that the man is her husband and has right to beat her.
What is your reply,Does a Man has right to beat his wife?
24 people like this
140 responses
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
18 May 09
There's no law in this world that stated a right for any man to beat a woman, even her wife. I can't believe she said his husband can do that Who tell her such things? It is sad that the woman didn't defend herself and worst, ignore her right for protection. You already did your duty as a human. If the woman still refuse to be help, there's nothing you can do about it.
7 people like this
@RA2_007 (151)
• India
21 May 09
Dear friend I have once heard of a woman who belive her husband has right to beat her if she go to sleep when he is at home! (and can u ever belive she was educated too!!!) So I am not at all feeling surprised to hear deepika's story.
It is most unfortunate that some woman in our society are not even strong enough to protect their most basic rights like this.
@babyfazt09 (144)
• Philippines
18 May 09
Of course, they don't have the right to do that!
I'm so disappointed with husbands treating their partner in life just like that.
My mother is a victim of that brutality but she doesn't let that man just step on her so they parted their ways.
Women should learn to fight for what they know is right.
7 people like this
@Videogeezer (654)
•
18 May 09
A man does not have the right to beat a woman, and a woman does not have the right to beat a man. It is not really in your own best interests to get involved in somebodies business, I would have just phoned the police and let them deal with it. This woman is not likely to phone the police herself.
5 people like this
@adaengkantada (37)
• Philippines
22 May 09
but the police, at times, leave marital problems alone even if they hear and see the beating. they say it's a personal matter (remember tracy chapman's song about domestic violence)
but i think in some countries, there is a clamor to see domestic violence as a crime in itself and that police shouldn't remain passive when dealing with cases like these.
also, the victim sometimes develop stockholm syndrome, and identifies with his assailant. this could explain the attitude of a wife for not leaving his husband even if he beats her up. it's a vicious cycle
@soulist (2985)
• United States
18 May 09
A man does not have the right to beat his wife no matter what. That is just wrong. A man should treat his wife or girlfriend with respect and honor her the way he would want to be treated by her. If a man has the right to beat his wife then the wife should have the right to fight back. But I am like you and completely against domestic violence.
6 people like this
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
18 May 09
There is no country in the world where wife beating is a legalised action. That you were asked to mind your work by the beaten woman is the result of our social structure. They would undergo vigorous sufferrings but would tell the white lie if brought to the court.
what we need now is to try to change the system.
6 people like this
@Flirtykumquat (927)
• United States
18 May 09
I don't think its right for a man to beat his wife. I was in an abusive relationship and it doesn't work. Once the man hits once he will always strike again no matter what he says. As a woman I know that we sometimes see how far we can go to see what the man will do but that is not right either. Because if a man will continue to beat his wife no telling what else he might do.
5 people like this
@jwfarrimond (4473)
•
18 May 09
Of course it's not right. But with that woman's attitude, calling the police would not have done anything as they can do nothing unless the wife is prepared to make charges against her husband.
4 people like this
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
20 May 09
My response is not solely directed towards "jwfarrimond". Rather this seemed a good place to post the response.
I am not sure about rights. Because I believe both belong to each other after marriage. As per Hindu religion a husband has more rights on his wife than the wife's father or mother. I have also seen a woman beat her husband. So does the wife have the right to beat her husband.
Lets leave the rights aside for a moment and concentrate on the incident.
If you find your close friends fighting do you threaten to call the police and get one of them arrested. The answer should be no unless you hate them or are a psycho. Any good person would make them stop fighting and resolve the matter.
The same thing was needed when the husband was beating his wife. I don't think any Indian woman would like her husband to be taken away by the police. Think of the shame it would cause for all the family members especially the children.
Would one call the police if you saw your parents fighting?
Coming back to rights to beat. Since I don't like family fights, I would not like to grant either of them the rights to beat each other.
2 people like this
@RA2_007 (151)
• India
21 May 09
Yeh i think vanillery has got a point there.
It is really a better way to try to resolve the issue instead of threatening to call the police. But from the incident quoted above i doubt if they (or atleast the lady) would be ready to let a stranger interfer in their family matter. They may probably say that they can resolve it among themselves. However it always has a better chance than being ready to charge a police petetion I think, especially if the people fighting are not strangers to you.
@renitaperrone (547)
• United States
19 May 09
Never ever ever!! I am not sure where you live, but in this country (United States), that man would be immediately put in jail. I can't imagine how anyone could think it was OK. And the wife - perhaps she was just afraid of how violent it might become if the police did get involved. In some sick way she is so used to the abuse she probably cannot imagine life any other way. How sad.
2 people like this
@johnrapp (27)
• United States
21 May 09
If the wife thought she deserved a beating, what are you going to do to stop it anyway?
It's kind of like how our freedoms are limited by other people's freedoms. Freedom of choice, freedom of space and freedom of fear are three freedoms that counteract another person's right to do absolutely everything and anything they could possibly ever desire. Freedom limits freedom.
Does a man have the right to beat his wife? Depends on who you ask. If a man does have the right to beat his wife, it is definitely limited to his wife's consent, at which point you can step in and knock the guy out. But you have to have the woman's approval, because without it you're being a nosy intruder in other people's affairs. And in a free society, no one wants that.
@aakansha12 (183)
• India
18 May 09
Its really sad that still in our country there are thousands of ladies believing that their husband is everything for them even god . They suffer everything still they don't want to speak a word against them . I seen this happenings many time but i never went their to help because i know what would be the consequences .But i am very much proud of you and salute you for your work . It requires a lot of courage to do this .I think education can only bring general awareness among women.
2 people like this
@aakansha12 (183)
• India
18 May 09
huh! when you said "keep in mind" you more sounded like you were warning me . Yes i know girls here getting more facilities and reservation seats and all but i am talking about their nature not condition . They themselves work as a servant of their husband and give him chance to dominate her. But things changing here fast , many educated girls have stand out .
1 person likes this
@aditya_k85 (737)
• India
20 May 09
If a women feels that her husband is everything for her then there is nothing wrong in it. It is her personal matter. You and I should not decide whether it is wrong or right for a women to believe that her husband is everything for her . If a women loves her husband very much and she feels that her husband is everything for her then you cannot call it bad.
and i repeat that there are lots of countries especially less developed countries where women have such attitude . not just our country.
hope you understand.
@aditya_k85 (737)
• India
18 May 09
not only in our country . This happens more in less developed countries . In fact this happens less in our country . Women get reservations and all the facilities in our country which women from other countries do not get . You should keep that in mind.
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
19 May 09
You did the right thing, trying to stick up for the woman.. I was in the same situation, I do not exactly know what was exactly that situation was.. But in my own experince, the more someone else sits there and confronts the husband about the abuse.. The husband will get more angry, and instead of confronting his anger in front of you, since you are more of a threat to him, he will bottle that anger up, and in the end the wife will recieve a more sever beating later... Why would the wife stay in that postition? There are multipy reasons; depending on the amount of abuse she may have had as a child may also be a factor.. or that is the way her parent were, and she was raised in that type of enviroment.. Its sad to say but some people are so use to being hurt, when that doesn't happen they become insecure, out of their safe zone.. Which we have all been there its not easy to stay out of the safe zone, espeically if it is abuse..
I believe that no one has a right to hit anyone!! Hitting someone only proves that they may be phyiscally stronger, or need to use their fists to keep in control.. No man, woman or child should be hit period!!!! Hitting only makes the situation worst!!
2 people like this
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
19 May 09
Please remember what you said here and apply it to yourself.. That abuse is not away of life and feeling as though you deserve to be hurt is just so totally wrong.. Sorry its just I see so much and it is what it is...lol I know that will make you smile..
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
21 May 09
I am working on that one... Think that the more that I talk about this stuff the more its finally sinking in...lol
@eloy2rico (1)
• United States
20 May 09
A Man allowed to beat a Wife? lol are you joking. That is seriously not legal in almost every country. Women have as many rights as men, in America at least, and they should be treated as equals. Unless they start punching you first, then you just defend yourself so she can't blame anything on you. :P
2 people like this
@lovelymaoqin (10)
• China
21 May 09
When referred to this topic,I can not help remembering the domestic violence plots in the TV series.In this case ,I would like to say it depends on the characteristic of the society.When in the hierachy society ,there exists the class system,one man can own more than one wife ,it seems as to be unfair,therefor ,the husbands can deal with his wife .However,currently ,it is taken for granted that everyone is equal before the law,especially in a family .Thus man do not have the right to beat his wife ,no matter what has happened,even though the wife has committed the grand mistake.It is a barbarian way to resolve the problem.
2 people like this
@calisha86 (11)
• United States
21 May 09
Absolutely Not!!! No man has the right to hit a woman. There are many ways to resolve a conflict without lifting a finger. I have done so throughout my life. To me any man who hits a woman is not a man at all. There obviously is much more maturing for him to do.
As for the woman either she was raised in a household where unfortunately domestic violence was the way to solve problems. She may think it is what she deserved. Or she could have just been embarrassed.
2 people like this
@North_Atlantic (126)
• United States
18 May 09
Some people tend to have a very warped sense of what is right or wrong. Domestic violence in any form, whether it be against a woman, man, or child is never acceptable. However, we have to understand that a person's viewpoint on something is just that, there personal viewpoint.
If the woman felt that way about her husband and her life, she obviously has a very different perspective of what is right and wrong than most people.
In a legal sense violence or abuse is never right. In the eyes of anyone with any decency or any sense of right or wrong, such violence is also wrong. However, if that is how the woman felt about the situation, that is her point of view.
You did the right thing by stopping and trying to help. However, sometimes theres just nothing you can do.
2 people like this
@23uday (2997)
• India
18 May 09
hi
Even i am against this domestic and it is brutal.she may be his wife,but before that she is a human being and he does not have a right to beat his wife.
and it is the nature Indian wives,that they always support their husbands,how much they are beaten up by their husbands,its because she isnt independent and fears society.hope women get emancipated in all aspects.
happy mylotting
@omiami (412)
• Malta
18 May 09
No person has the right to beat another person especially in a married couple. I am so sorry to hear about these wives who find it normal for their husbands to beat them. Or sometimes you hear the phrase "I sure he will change". They will never change unless certain measures are taken. Its such a hurtful thing to see and hear about these things. We are in 2009, a developed world in many senses but in other things we are still way back. I dont know how can woman accept these violences whether verbal or not.
@juanypablo (126)
• United States
18 May 09
Wow that is one of the craziest things I have ever heard. I was raised that you NEVER put your hands on a woman.. this is just insane to say that it's ok because you are married. I've never heard a woman say something like that, and I hope she didn't really fully mean it. I think they are both just two screwed up people if the husband is beating the wife and the wife says it's ok.
2 people like this
@honeykat22 (46)
• Philippines
18 May 09
NO! even if they are married or not.
women must be loved not be hurt!
i do not like men hitting their wives with whatever reason it is. every woman has a right to complain about this whether to the police or some organizations that cares about women.
2 people like this