What if?
By dreamertink
@dfollin (25351)
United States
May 18, 2009 12:53pm CST
Do you ever think what if things were different how things would be? Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary.Except I had it without my husband.He died from cancer 4 and a half years ago.But,I had to think about where we would be living,what kind of car would we be driving if he had never got the cancer.I also thought about what life would be like if he had the cancer but still living how our life would be.But,its not that way.
Do you ever wonder that things like that?
Do you ever wonder that things like that?3 people like this
7 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
20 May 09
i try not to do the what if thing. it just depresses me because there is sure nothing i can do to change the past. i sure would change some of it anyway if i could. take care.
@tholitz (1127)
• Philippines
19 May 09
Hi dfollin!
I'm sorry to hear that you have already lost your husband and celebrating your 12th anniversary alone.
I always asked that question regarding the decisions I have made in my life. What if I have chosen that job instead of the one I have right now? What if I have taken that way? These questions which always lingers in my mind, and wanting to have a better answer.
But I think we should always live as to what we have, and do whatever we can to make it even better.
Have a nice day!
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
19 May 09
Thank you.Yes,I will always wonder,"what if",this happened this way or this way.For example,if I had not met and was engaged to my oldest son's father then I would not have my oldest son.If I had not fell in love with my youngest son's father then I would not have my son and beautiful grand daughter.I would not have him as a friend as well as his sister.Then if I hadn't bought that car that needed to be fixed every other week,then I would have know to tell my friend,not to buy that type of car.
As my favorite saying goes,"Everything happens for a reason"
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
18 May 09
Cherish the memories, cherish your daughter, its good you have a living breathing part of him with you. Next mont it would have been our 30th year together. It would have been our 23rd as being married. I know how it is to wonder. I miss feeling protected, loved and cherished. Hopefully someday for both of us that we meet someone special again. We are both young enough to have it happen. Sometimes I feel so robbed of our life together and our plans for the future, life just isn't always fair. I try not to think to much, its been 3 1/2 years for me.
2 people like this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
19 May 09
Sometimes I feel robbed too,but I also feel grateful that I had him in my life for 9 years and yes that I do have part of him thru our daughter.We may be young enough to find someone else.And I hope that happens for you.But,as far as me,no way am I am doing that.Wow,30 years together that was a long time.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
27 May 09
Yes of course , i think we all have those thoughts from time to time...I have looked back on my life many times and ask that question"What if"?It sometimes seems that life deals us some very bad things such as the lose of your husband,but even in these bad times we somehow have to move forward...so i try hard to think of it this way....our lives form us into the person we are today, no matter how hard it may be..Someone ask me just a few days ago."do you plan to be at this place forever?" I said yu know life is so unpredidable that who knows, but i can tell you this....I am happy as i can be at this moment because i know that tommorro there will be a change...Life is just one big change, some good , some bad...I am looking for the final moment to be where i need to be, in other words i will finally find my groove, or as some say "my Bliss"....So it is a yes to your question, we all think this way from time to time.....Best wishes to you!
1 person likes this
@ZephyrSun (7381)
• United States
18 May 09
I'm sorry to see that your husband passed away. It must be very hard to lose him. I sometimes wonder about things like that but, I try not to dwell on it since it makes me sad.
2 people like this
@cls1970 (24)
• United States
3 Sep 09
I'm so sorry for your loss. Moving on after that type of trauma can be extremely difficult.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
3 Sep 09
I have never lost someone that close that young, and that soon, but I have lost two of my four grandparents, and I often wonder what life would be like for them and for our family if they were still around. It would have been really nice if they would have been able to come to my wedding, and a lot of other momentous events in my life.
