old age- a boon or bane!???

Hi Riya! You are right upto an extent old age is really becoming a big problem here in our country. If one is not financially sound and if he does not have any child to support, then old age becomes a curse. Children look after you, only when they see you have some assests and funds. If unfortunately, in your old age, you are down with some diseases, which require persistent care and treatment, your children feel that you are burden on them. Therefore, it is always better to be financially sound and independent in our old age and one should try to keep herself/himself, as fit and healthy, as much possible. Good post!

makes me wonder if younger people who get so outdone w/their parents & don't want to be burdened w/them as they get older & not able to take care of themselves think that they will be in the same shape someday if they are fortunate to live to an old age.

I guess the West is creeping into your society as well and from what I understand the multigenerational households are greatly diminishing. Old age can be a boon or a bane depending on your financial and family situation. My mom is now 96 years old and depends heavily on services. She still lives in her own home with my sister owning the other half of the house. My mom has someone coming in twice a day once in the morning to help her dress and for a quick check in the evening to see if she needs help getting ready for bed. She also has a lady once a week to help her with a bath, once a week to clean her apartment. Another lady come in every six weeks to cut her hair, another one to look after her feet and toe nails. My sister prepares the meals and brings them over and looks after the laundry. Now all of these services use up my mother's pension and an amount of money she receives from an insurance. Some months it is not enough and she has to dip into her savings to pay the house expenses. She is greatly worried that she will not be able to leave us anything. We have assured her many times we just want her to be comfortable and be able to stay at home as long as possible. People are living a lot longer these days. Myself I am now 70 years old and retired. So far I am lucky that my pension covers my expenses. I would not want to burden my son and I certainly would find it entirely too stressful to move in with him and his family. I love my daugher-in-law like my own but the external stresses of professional life would make it too hard for my son and his wife to look after me as well. Someone mentioned that in India sometimes the children take turns in taking the old folks into their homes for periods of time. I would find that particularly unpleasant to be uprooted from my familiar surroundings, getting used to a different bed, getting used to different family dynamics. Even now I insist on going home every night after spending time with my son's family. It does not matter how late it is. If later on I need a lot of home care I will pay as much as I can afford. If all my resources are gone I would hope my country would provide me with a decent spot in a decent old age home where I could end my days in dignity.

I think that old age isn't what it used to be. More and more people are not doing what they should to keep themselves healthy and happy etc, and this effects the attitudes of all involved. Once someone turns a certain age or has a certain condition and can no longer help themselves they get discarded like yesterday's lunch. It's really sad, and I know that it's not the right thing to do. This isn't just happening in India, but in the USA too, and possibly other countries throughout the world. I just hope that we all can be more respectful of each other and help each other in all ways, and remember that one day we will be in the position that we can't help ourselves, and we'll need help. How would we feel if we got discarded by friends or relatives? Well I hope you have a wonderful day.

Hello my friend riyasam Ji, It depends the way every individual takes it. You may follow following link : http://www.nilacharal.com/news/view/v2.html Here is one to view. awahar(25) - software engineer: When someone goes to the extent of excluding their parents from his or her family, I wonder what will happen to the aged, if not for the old age homes. These are the people who spent their life's fortune in their children's welfare, left with none for themselves. They are orphans too, sadly in their prime old age. Old age homes are the orphanages where they find people with empathy. They are certainly a boon to the society. Stella(24) -software engineer: As anything in this world has got its own advantages and disadvantages so is old age homes. It is advantageous in a way that the old people get some attention in these homes and they can atleast spend some time in peace rather than being considered as a burden. But it's disadvantageous in a way that b'cos of these homes many don't bother to take care of their parents on their own. They just give some money and get it done by these organisations. Old people need lot of attention and they prefer to be with their kith & kins. These homes make them feel that they're the least wanted people in the world and also lonely. I don't think aged people will vote for old age homes. They would prefer to stay at their sons' or daughters' place like servants rather than spending the rest of their life like orphans in an unknown environment. In that point of view I would call it as a bane than a boon. May god bless You and have a great time.[em]thumbup[/em

hello , even i find it disgusting that people now find no money neither time to take good care of theirs parent.....in fact , its not about money or time,...its just that they are not interested to do so....and that really sad. i have similar views as you do, have a nice day.

True.To avoid this happening to us we have to have some changes in us.We must be ready not to brag about the golden past to the younger ones ever when we get old.We always must be afresh with latest happenings and try to like and prepared to discuss with our children if needed.We must make ourselves enriched with knowledge so that our family members must always come for us seeking advice.Advices should not be given unless they are asked for.We have to do regular exercises to keep ourselves fit to the last. Above all the most important thing to do is we must amass a quite a lot of money and keep it with us to our last breadth to be looked after like a king or queen when we are old.

We have a lot of that going around, a lot of Older People or Senior Citizen will ask for Home Health Aids. They do that so they don't have to go in and Nursing Home, pewople wpouild rather stay in their own Homes than go to a Nuring Home, but they save Money, because if one goes in a Nursing Home, All of their Money is taken from them. Even if they have a Home they have to give up their home when they go to a Nusiong Home. Right now I have working for this Retired Dr. I take care of his Wife. I just got the Job I was Blessed to get it. And the Pay is really good. How arew you? I hope all is well!

I know what you are talking about Riya but must we blame only the youth for neglecting their aged parents? Have you seen the conditions under which our youth slog these days to earn a good salary! Gone are the days of 10 to 5 job when people could come home at a fixed time and relax and enjoy the evening with the family. Women were not required to earn outside coz the money earned by the husband was enough…kids and old people alike got taken care of. But what do we see now around us? People running like mad dogs throughout the day…companies have become so cruel, there is no end to the day’s work and yet, somebody is always there to take you job. No job security, no social security, no help from the government at all. Wives are earning outside to supplement the income, things are becoming more expensive and we are not being able to fulfill even the simplest of our wishes. India has changed only superficially aping the west, but in the west there are proper infrastructure and assistance to take care of the aged and kids…we have no such facility here in India yet we expect to live like them…have cars and fashionable clothes and dining at swanky restaurants, AC at home, vacationing abroad…all these are definitely having an impact on our daily lives…we need to earn more money and for that, we need to spend more time away from the home. So who’s gonna look after the aged? Either you hire help (who are not trustworthy at all, unlike earlier times) or give up your job (not possible) or send your aged parents to old age homes (where at least they will be looked after properly, if you can dish out the cash)! And you cant blame the youth really, their parents have indeed spent a fortune on them to make their careers and now they cant just sit at home to look after their parents. Cruel as it sounds Riya, I analyse the situation thus. Our Indian mentality to forsake everything for our children, is also to blame. Unlike western parents, we spend our everything on our children without bothering to keep anything for us. We even love to leave cash, jewelleries, shares etc…(money i.e.) for our children so that they wont have any trouble in life! And what do we do…we HOPE and EXPECT that our children will take care of us in our old age and when they cant do that, we start complaining! Old age can never be a boon but it can be made enjoyable with planning. Its only recently that we are hearing insurance schemes of pension and such which I believe every individual should go for. We should all save enough so that we don’t become at least a financial burden on our children. But in doing that, our own youth is lost Riya…run run run…earn earn earn…save save save…no time really to splurge the money on ourselves and enjoy our this moment of youth.

It has been like this in north america for at least the last 40 years, it is sad, but not something that much can be done about.

People are more conscious of their health now and that goes to say there will be more centenarian around in the not too far future. I do not have the slightest doubt that they will become the burden not only to their family but to the Government as these are the group of people that need extra care but without benefit to the giver. Elderly people often do not have the energy or are not in the frame of mind to show their appreciation for efforts rendered. Children are not there to care for them as they too have family and life to lead that is why they are prepared to send their aged parents to aged homes as they'll have trained people to care for them and also can mingle around with people of their age. It is sad though that children of today do not have that caring attitude towards their aged parents. So we need to be well prepared for our old age and save as much money as possible to meet our medical fees and daily expenses, as we cannot be too dependent on our kids. They might just chuck us to one corner of the house and treat us like an old furniture ready to be discarded if we are old, helpless and penniless.

Old age homes are both a boon and a bane!!! Now with everyone in the house more interested in his/ her career nobody wants to sit at home and look after the aged. One cannot depend on servants either. So instead of the aged being illtreated at home it is better that they live in an Old age home. And because there are so many old age homes around people find it more convenient to keep their old parents there instead of keeping them at home.

Riya dear, this problem of oldage is not only in India, but it's a global problem. Even in Western countries if you see, there are a number of old -age homes, but if you ask old people about their choice, they would prefer living with their family members. Same things are happening in India also. Youngsters have to slog in their jobs since the living standards have gone so high, so they should not be blamed. Here the positive side is that maids are easily available, especially for looking after old people(if you are willing to pay little more). In my opinion, they(old people) should remain with their children, while children, on their part,since they are earning well, should employ a helper to look after their parents. This way both can remain happy. In our family, my two sis-in-laws are widows, and one my co-sister. They are financially so secure that their children also don't mind staying with them as they don't have to put a dent on their pockets

Oh!! that is very common also in America. Most people here take their old folks to the nursing home or to the assisted living and let someone take care of them because they have no time to take care of their own old relatives. They are busy with their work and no body can monitor the situation of the old so, that is their main reasons of taking their old folks to the nursing home. In the Philippines, the old people will be taken care of their adult children. They don't take them to the nursing home.

I think its a BOON if and when the old people have enough money and family support, which is rare these days. Having said this I know a few old couples who seem the happiest with comfort, money and family support. One couple I know do not have family support but then they are living live in their own terms. The support system of friends and friends' families are strong. Its like a beautiful big full house! However, these are the lucky lot. Many people are dependent on their children who grow up to negate their contribution so much so that they even beat their parents!! This is gross and is the most sad part of human life.

Hello! Old age for me is neither a boon nor a curse.Rather the young age is a curse because during this time people run restlessly to earn for their livelihood and comforts.They neglect their health,their friends and relations during this time and become lonely most of the times and get mad of life.During old age you have sufficient time to enjoy your life with your partner and friends which you have neglected during the prime period of your life.I am now seventy years old and spending my time with my wife quite happily.thanx.

This is a problem all over the world with emerging countries. We in the West don't have any good answers either. The lack of respect for our elderly is not improving and I really don't know where it will end.

here people put their aging family members in homes because they can't aford to keep them at home.they may not be well their selves or they can't quit work and take care of them

yes,it is not only in India,there are many places where the old are ignored. I don't know how to remark on this issue. I think life is tough for everyone. I mean everyone has his or her problems such as finance, relationships with others etc. Social pressure is always around us. Maybe all reasons are excuses.When we pursue our life,we often ignore many basic and important things.Once we lost these things,we would regret many things.Taking care of old people is their children's responsiblities.And I think it is pleasure to get along with old people.They are not burden just like we are not burden to them when they are young.Wether taking the old to the Oldage homes or not,we should spend time to share with them.

i think in india its bane and al people old have so many problems