How do I avoid my meddling in-laws
By badhoevedorp
@badhoevedorp (11)
Netherlands
May 22, 2009 8:25am CST
Ok, my wife convinced me to move to her village a few years back. Now I live within walking distance of my mother-in-law and 2 sisters-in-law. The continuing meddling, commenting (how we live our lives, how we raise our child, how we do this, how we do that) and back-stabbing is sending me towards the great abyss. How do I - preferably without creating civil war - create some distance (I like my house and don't want to move)?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@derlilaStern (1756)
• United States
22 May 09
I would kindly, but firmly let them know that the comments are welcome. When they say something about your children, for example, tell them that you have chosen to raise them differently. If they get upset, explain that they are your children so it is your choice how you raise them. Make sure they know the rules of your house and ask them to abide by them. Anyone who comes to your house must follow the rules.
Allowing them to continually comment will only make things worse. They will think it is ok for them to do that.
Good luck!
1 person likes this
@badhoevedorp (11)
• Netherlands
22 May 09
I envisage living closeby them for many years to come. So I guess its best if I bite the bullet now rather than let the the situation explode in months or years from now. Gladly my wife is fully understnding of my feelings.
1 person likes this
@derlilaStern (1756)
• United States
22 May 09
If your wife is understanding and agrees, it might be best to have her talk to them. They might be more responsive if she does it rather than you. They might think you are just trying to keep them away! It seems like that isnt the case, you just want all of the comments about your choices to stop.
1 person likes this
@larish (2191)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Try to talk to your wife. Maybe she can give you idea on how to handle this situation since they are her family. I really do understand how irritating to receive unsolicited advise/comments. I also live a few blocks from my mother in law. She always give me unsolicited advise and practically comments on how I live my life but as a respect to her, that is why I refrain going to her place. I am just lucky that she seldom comes to my house.
@sunny007foru (116)
• India
22 May 09
wel dear u have to sit with ur wife n discuss ur problem n make her realise ur priority n even if u move to that place just make her understand ur likings n dislikings hope she will understand make make u realise
