I feel so bad today!!!
By smileonstar
@smileonstar (4007)
United States
May 22, 2009 12:19pm CST
Dear all my friends from Mylot. Today is a very sad day to me and I feel so bad about everything that happened around me, not even my customers, or someone that very close to me. No one start to understand how I feel, all he/she knows is pushing me to the edge. I never done a bad thing or hurt someone before at all... I am totally nice to everyone around me, my heart is nice and my soul is clean but everyone seen a evil thing in me or something.
I just want to turn the time back, to where I first start and then realized how much pain I had been through, then I will not go back to my old way. Have anyone of you feel so hopeless like me? It seem so dead end in my life style. I dont know what I am thinking but I am totally feel sad and just regret who I chose, what I did, and no one understand.
Just like what they draw on a map, that I have to walk this and that way from point A to point B with all the pain deep inside. For me, I never judge people from outside look but sometimes I can see the real people they are when they are mad(their truth color) then I realized I should not do this or I should not be like this if I ....
Now, everything is too late for me. I can't backward at all... but only look forward and step forward through this pain alone.
If you were me, what should you do to make you feel a lot better and make your life meaning to you, if someone doesn't care anymore. Thing change and I can change but one thing just hold on to me... what can I do?????? What can I DO?
please share if you can... everything will be appreciate. Thank you and happy myloters
2 people like this
7 responses
@bhabytart (1116)
• Philippines
23 May 09
hello there smileonstar..... i feel sad also today.... i was also appreciated by a person that is special to me... i've called & texted but nothing.... so i texted somebody just to find out that that person is out there somewhere..... maybe with another person.....even my bestfriend hasnt reply with my messages on the net & cellphone...they are all busy no time for me????? it really makes me feel sad...... i hope tomorrow will be different......let hope tomorrow will be better.....
@bhabytart (1116)
• Philippines
23 May 09
it really feels bad when you/i are not appreciated.....
1 person likes this
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
24 May 09
I totally understand what you mean here, I used to call and text my friends but seem when I need them, then they don't need me or dont seem to care about me at all. However, I always be there for them whenever they need me.
I still have a good friend but I feel mad at her sometimes cuz she never pick up my call... I called and called but dont seem to bother at all. Well, I just stop call her for week then She calls back. See? so, now I realized that Mylot friends are better than my real real friends... Once I post discussion then I got respond right the way... but my friends are different...
I think, we should help ourselves first before we help them
@bhabytart (1116)
• Philippines
24 May 09
but lets give them the benefit of the doubt..... maybe they are busy or they are just not in the mood to answer our calls or text.....maybe their themselves are having problem and they also need comfort and understanding... lets just remember the golden rule "do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you" in these way we are planting good deeds around us and maybe they will realize their wrong doings.... SMILE LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL....
@cindyhxf (1446)
• China
23 May 09
i think after your said these feeling to us will make you feel better.but only you can solve your problem right?you said someone pushed you to the edge.i could understand that because i was in the situation before.i wanted to get mad and felt baddly.but i think no one helped me a lot just i told myself tried to find right way to make me happy.you will try too right?good luck.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
24 May 09
Thanks for the comment. See you know how it feel when someone push you to the edge and then dont let you turn, it is totally bad and totally black out. I hate to being this but sometimes they just dont care who I am. However, today is a lot better and everything start to change... I think life is not end yet but just sometimes I can't figure out the way. Thank you
@dreamleaper17 (702)
• Philippines
22 May 09
hi there, smileonstar..
sometimes, we have to be "broken" so that we can be made whole.
i actually like your nickname: "smileonstar".. someone once said that when we feel down, we should look up. that's one thing you can do.. look up.. smile on the stars.. at daytime, you would "see" the biggest star -- the sun.. at night, the billions of stars twinkling, shining, whispering to you..
try getting a piece of paper and a pen. don't mind the negativities around you but list down what YOU HAVE, what YOU'RE GOOD AT.
it is never too late. we have a God up there who knows everything about us way before we were born. He has a plan for you and He will make sure that that plan of His takes place.
choose... to smile. 
twitch your lips to the side, show your teeth, squint your eyes a little.. before you know it, you're smiling!
BE HAPPY! YOU ARE WORTH IT.
twitch your lips to the side, show your teeth, squint your eyes a little.. before you know it, you're smiling!
BE HAPPY! YOU ARE WORTH IT.1 person likes this
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
22 May 09
Thank you so much... since from the morning, I haven't smile at all but now you made me smile. thank you. right my name is start with smile and star is what I always wish to be. When I was in school, I didn't really have much pain or stupid thing to think about... all I have to do is smiling and be happy that what I do and I am good with that. But now, everything changed... a huge changed for me... I always want to look back and want to be back who I was and what I was before. The star that I want to choose is way to high, high than I can reach... but the more I try, the more I hurt myself. If you know me in person, then u will know what kind of person I am... I am totally different from other. I have a good heart, and always always help out but in this person eyes (I AM EVIL, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, AND USELESS)
Any way, I hope I will get over it soon... thank you for sharing you have a very nice words and good attitude for me. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@dreamleaper17 (702)
• Philippines
22 May 09
hi there again, smileonstar..
thank you for the "best response"..
i like that you know what kind of heart you have.. don't mind what that other person thinks of you. what matters is how God sees you..
"..Man looks at the outward appearance but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7c.
you are special in God's eyes and He loves you more than you can ever imagine. you've got a smile that's uniquely yours and i know that God would love to see more of that smile on your face because He made that one just for you to show..
wherever you are, smileonstar, we are just under one big sky, and i'm sending you one great, big hug just to tell you: JESUS LOVES YOU!
look up (well, it could be the ceiling that you'll see, but you know what i mean 
) to GOD, pray and you'll see.
) to GOD, pray and you'll see.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
23 May 09
Hi, you have a very positive mylot id smileonstar....No matter what life is for living and moving on.When we look back , everything in the past seems trivial, that is the way we have been designed. So , be positive and analyse your present status in a dispassionate manner and try to make the best of things. Believe me, I have been through a lot of harrowing experiences in life, and i am sure that there is more in store for me, but, ever since I began to take them head on, I have been able to come to terms. I am sure you will be fine in a week, a month and look back at things that have happened to you as a life experience that has taught you something - all the best and be positive
1 person likes this
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
24 May 09
You are right, everything is not just for today right? so some situation might take week and even month too... however, I am feeling a lot better when everyone in here care about me. I really appreciate.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
24 May 09
I would love to drink and enjoy my day so much, but first I dont know how to drink and second I don't have close friends or any friends that could drink with me. Once thing that I love to do when I am in a bad mood or have a bad day then I go shopping..
@Leonma (57)
• China
23 May 09
What are you care more about?
Your family, your friend, or the strange around you? Or you workmates, somebody else?
You should have your own mind to make your decision. If your family ask you do something that your dislike to do, you need negotiate with them carefully, tell them what you think and waht you want to do, what your schedule is?
If the others who are not your friend say you should do that or shouldn't do that, oh, don't care them, they are nothing unless you think they are really your good friend.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
24 May 09
If you are talking about my family, I am the only one that make decision and no one tell me to do thing that I don't like... but I just feel bad about person that I care, and he/she doesn't care. Seem like I am nothing and invisible or something. well, once I feel bad and then my day at work will be bad all day... they just piss me off. Thank you so much for all the advice
@lovelymaoqin (10)
• China
23 May 09
Dear smileonstar,mylot friend.You feeling I have ever felt once more.However ,I overcame it and currently ,I have some good suggestions to you .From my perspective ,I do believe god is fairly without any bias or discrimination.Life is so span to everyone that we can not idle away.Every one has the tough time without no exception.However ,some individual will handle it quickly and perfect,but some people can not overcross the obstacle.It depends on the attitude towards the problem .I strongly assume that no matter what has happened ,we should not yield to the disasters in life but to strive for hope and spare no effort to overcome it.We should take positive attitude to the issue we are encounter in .Because we know that the obstacle will not disappear ,we shoule come toward it and deleate it .Time waits for no man.If you harbor this opinion ,you will success.Nothing is difficult ,if you put you put your heart into it .Your should konw when you suffer the disasters while others encounter the other different problems .Just smile at everything everyday.You can win.
1 person likes this
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
24 May 09
Yes, I understand. My situation is just black out for a moment cuz I dont have anybody to talk to and now I feel a lot better. Thank you and I will come back to you again once I feel sad or something. Thanks my friend
