Are you living with your parents? When do you think you will leave your parents?
By faisai
@faisai (1138)
Hong Kong
May 22, 2009 12:29pm CST
When we came to this world, our parents gave us shelter. They gave us food, education, care, and all sorts of things. We depended on them on virtually everything.
As time goes by, our dependency on them is fewer and fewer and until one day, we become financially independent on them and all of a sudden the feeling of free air seems like a great temptation that cannot be resisted.
So, are you still living with your parents now? Do you envision one day you will move out from your parents and why you think you would want to move out?
If you plan to move out, do you plan to move to some distance from your parents or just keeping close enough so that it is very easy to visit one another?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@derlilaStern (1756)
• United States
22 May 09
I have lived on my own for about 5 years now and will never live with my parents again! I love them very much, but it is better for everyone that we dont live together!
I dont live next door to my parents, but I live close enough that I can go to their houses whenever they need something.
I know people who live with their parents when they are in their 30's! I cant imagine living with my parents that long. I cant imagine being happy always living by someone else's rules. I wonder if those people are just lazy or if they really dont care!
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
22 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
For your record, I am still living with my parents and I am almost 30 now. So, it seems that you want to move out because your parents are setting up rules in the house and require you to follow that annoys you. I will say that sounds quite a problem faced by many others.
However, I have a question though, suppose you have your own kids. Would you not setup any rules in the house for them? And what do you think if one day they tell you they want to move out?
@derlilaStern (1756)
• United States
22 May 09
Of course there will be rules for my children! There are rules in my house now. But I get to chose what they are! I dont have to do what someone else says just because that is how they want it.
When my children are ready to move out, I will be glad. Not because I dont love them, that isnt true. I will be glad because it means that I have properly prepared them for the world at large! My job as a parent isnt to shelter them and do everything for them. My job is to help them get a good start so they can have a great life on their own!
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
22 May 09
I see your point now. So you would still setup rules for your kids even though you are moving out from your parents due to you dislike living under the rules setup by somebody else (even though those rules are intended to prepare you for the world).
Anyway, moving out from parents is nothing bad as sooner or later, they will leave us and we have to live on our own. It is just whether to do it earlier or not. So long as we still love them and visit them from time to time, living together or not is not a big issue. :)
@amylan (187)
• France
23 May 09
Well I've been talking about this quite a lot recently, both with friends and my parents. After entering the college, I unoficially left my parents and went to a city faraway but in fact, emotionally, my parents' home was still 'my' home 'cause I used to go back and stay with them during the vacances. Since I'm the only child in the family, such an emotional attachment on both sides remains really strong. But right living abroad totally indepently makes me realize that finally i'm gonna get a 'home' on my own and of course the first thing is to move out and to be financially independent. However I never agree that financially freedom has something to do with the personal freedom. At least with my parents, I still have the right to make my choices of lives. But I do have some friends who are totally under the control of their parents 'cause their financial resources could be cut off at any time and I don't think their parents are justified.
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
23 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
I also know that some parents will put strong control on their kids and cutting financially support is one of the most efficient way of doing so. Of course, there are times that those parents are doing it selfishly because they are "jealous" that their kids are having their own lives now and depend less on them.
But then, I still believe that people are good by nature and thus whatever they do is rooted from a good reason. Parents want more "control" on their kids not necessarily means they don't want their kids to have freedom but just too afraid of them to get harm from this messy world.
@amylan (187)
• France
23 May 09
Sometimes the relationship between parents and adult kids could be really sophiscated but first of all, the parents' respect to kid's independent personality is crucial in the making of personality itself. So, yes, if parents are reluctant to aknowledge the fact their kids are gonne have a life themselves, I guess they should realize that good nature doesn't necessarily lead to something positive and they should be objective sometimes. And the sense of 'jealousy' only manisfests that some parents consider kids as private possessions and equal dialogue could never be operative between them.
@kiss_me2070 (277)
•
22 May 09
I am 23 and still live with parents but am currently saving so I cna move out. Im looking fowrads ot moving out because my parents are really nosey and really messy and I hate living in a messy house and questions all the time.
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
23 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
Yes, it can get quite annoying sometimes as they want to ask us lots of questions when we just want to keep our privacy.
Yet, if we think it from another angle, what if it were our kids that we are caring about? Will we be that open minded to let go everything and not ask a single question?
@janyen (623)
• Netherlands
22 May 09
i was living by my parents for almost 27 years of my life but that was on and off coz i am also working far from them and go back to them when i do not have work. but last year of december, i already left them and moved to join my husband here in holland. we will be living with them as soon as my husband retires here.
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
23 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
So, you are living with your husband now and away from your parents, what about the parents of your husband? Are you living with them or close to them?
It seems that most people find it difficult to deal with their mother-in-law or father-in-law and thus would avoid close contact with them...
@technoobs (406)
• Philippines
22 May 09
Its all been natural being with my parents, though not directly. I still go for work and go home with their house. Living with them is just one best thing that I want to show them what I've become before moving out on my own.
May be I'll move out most likely when I have my own house and a stable work to get started with my own family.
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
23 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
It seems to be that it is a good timing to move out when we ought to have our own family as all of a sudden, we would have to be on our own. And in fact, a couple means 2 pair of parents and there is no way one that the couple live with parents from both sides so they have to move out anyway.
Still, I will hope that people, when choose to move out, would move not too far away from their parents so that they still feel "connected"... not by phones by physically where we can just walk over and check them out.
@hasnulhashim (48)
• Malaysia
22 May 09
im still living with my parent,to me my parents is my life..and i dont think so i want to move out...but right now..many people hate her parents so sad,actually they should know,her parent give everthing in her life .my mother and my father,is one part of my soul,i really love them..i think maybe im not interestend to married with someone else..
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
22 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
Yes, many people nowadays don't like their parents at all. And thus, you still possess the thought of doing good to your parents is something good for you.
I hope that even you are married in the future that you may want to have your own home, you would still be living close to your parents.
@dreamleaper17 (702)
• Philippines
22 May 09
hi there, faisai..
i'm living with my mom. she's a widow and she hasn't re-married. i've actually resolved not to get married unless the man i'm going to marry would agree to giving her a little house of her own which has a little store and a little garden. that's my dream gift for my mom and it's nothing compared to the many years she has taken care of me. i cannot out-give her for bringing me into this world and no amount of money can ever repay her for all that she went through just to make me grow up to be the kind of person i am today.
i don't think i will ever "leave" my mom.. unless i die ahead of her. or if i do get married, i would want her house to be just close to mine.
happy myLotting!
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
22 May 09
Thanks for your reply.
It is always good to hear that somebody loves their parents so much and have the thought that it is a person's debt of the live to care the parents.
I just want to give my blessing to you in finding the one who loves you much and also treat your mom good.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 May 09
I have lived on my own without my family before. Right now my fiance and I live together with his parents and we intend to move out when we are financially sound enough to do so. We do not have the money to buy us a doublewide yet although we do have the plans in action to do so. We won't be moving to terribly far from my fiance's parents at all, in fact only a few feet. We are happy to know that his parents are allowing us to use their land to put our home on, and I'm also excited because I know my fiance and I are still very much dependent people who really like the comfort of friendly faces nearby!
@wahmivy (776)
• Philippines
23 May 09
We moved in with my parents shortly before I gave birth, so I'd have some guidance and help with caring for the baby. We meant to stay for only a year, but ended up living with them for two years. We've lived in our own place for seven months now. My parents are more or less an hour away from us. Prior to moving back in with my parents, we lived about 3 hours away from them.
@srisankeerth (1477)
• India
23 May 09
hiii dear friend..At present i am living with my parents..i dont know when i will leave our parents..I dont expect that..Parents are like for god for us...Thay will give us what we want..They protect us from all..I love my parents..happy mylotting dear friend..have a nice day..cheers..happy mylotting dear friend..
@mimuche (163)
• Canada
23 May 09
I have been living on my own for 5 years now because I attended high school and now university in another country. I must say it has been nice but i just never seem to find the comfort and warmth that I had in my house. So once i graduate I hope to go back or would be lovely if my parents would join me here. If it were up to me I would never leave my parents house or at least my parents. I wish I could take them with me everywhere I go. They are the most fun people out there and understand me better than anyone else. I realize the importance of independence and I am thankful I have experienced it but I am extremely close to my parents.
@annasong (10)
• China
13 Aug 09
I am a girl and i live in a different city after marring. I miss my parents very much and i often go home to see them when i am free. Sometime yon can't choose freely where to move because they are determined by your work, your husband and so on ,but you can still keep in close realationship with your parents if you want to. So just do it is enough.
