Should I be Jealous?
@Ingkingderders (3832)
Philippines
May 23, 2009 1:02am CST
My boyfriend of 3 years ( and a friend for 15 years) had a love child with his ex when he was only 17. His kid lives with him and his family and was being taken care of by my boyfriend's mother. Last October his mother passed away, and since nobody would take care of the kid, by boyfriends ex ( the kid's mother ) started living in my boyfriends house. She sleeps there, eats there and actually acts like she is still part of the family ( she stayed there when she was pregnant and then left months after giving birth without even saying goodbye).
Now I know it's such a weird situation, but I can't say anything, because I'm afraid that the Mother would just run away with the Kid. A lot of times when I see her my blood pressure rises, but what can I do right? Should I be jealous and make her leave the house?
2 people like this
5 responses
@MartyM (95)
• United States
24 May 09
I know this may sound strange, but, your boyfriend already has a 'family' with this other woman. He will ALWAYS be in her life because of the child. I'm sure it's difficult to live with..........however, there isn't alot you can do about it. If I were you, i would sit down with your boyfriend and talk to him. If he's not willing to listen to you, maybe it's just not 'meant to be.' A relationship is a SHARED thing...ya know? BOTH parties have to 'give alittle.'
2 people like this
@firy_al (7)
• Philippines
24 May 09
I agree. There should be an open communication with both parties if they want the relationship to last or continue. I don't know if I could stand it if I were in this lady's position. I believe its normal that she would feel jealous, that is a weird situation indeed. I could understand the child, but the mother(the ex)living in the same house as the b.f., its a different story. So the lady should talk with her bf and tell him the truth if she is not comfortable with the situation. Life is always a choice. If the bf wont listen, then you are right, they might not be meant to be.
@MartyM (95)
• United States
24 May 09
Truthfully..I'm sure if I could handle it. However...I know a few friends of mine that are in similiar situations and really 'handle' it well. Everyone gets along...the boyfriend, girlfriend, and mother of the baby ( son is the boyfriend). I would at least try to talk to the boyfriend, though.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6340)
• India
23 May 09
Are you in love with your boyfriend and ready to accept his kid.Then get married as quick as possible and drive away that mother.That will be the good and ultimate solution.There is nothing to feel jealous about simply.The girl might win your boyfriend if you are going to delay further.So,make it quick.Cheers!
1 person likes this
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
24 May 09
that is actually our plan, except that we still haven't got enough money to get married. =)
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
24 May 09
if i'm in your situation, it's normal to make you feel jealous about it, because it seems that they are in one family again living together, and it seems that you are the mistress of that situation. just think of it this way, are you ready to accept this man to be your husband someday with this kind of situation between his ex wife and his children? it seems that it's kinda complicated for you.
@omiami (412)
• Malta
23 May 09
I know how you might feel. Its not easy, knowing that his ex lives inside the house again. I dont blame you for the feelings you are having. If I were in your place I think I would feel a bit so and so myself but try to control your feelings. The child is important to your boyfriend and i am sure that you are important to him as well. Im sure that he doesnt want to loose any of you. Maybe its the time when he needs you the most so try to be a bit patient. Or else maybe what you can do is speak to him so he assures you about his situation with his ex. I think communication is the best way to deal with a situation like this at the moment. His ex might feel like shes the lady of the house because she has a kid from him so she might feel she has an advantage or something but use your mind and dont let this thing bothers you. Communicate with him, I think thats the important thing so even he knows how you are feeling and he also knows that you are taking interest in his situation.
1 person likes this
@rselga (38)
• Philippines
23 May 09
jealousy means u dont trust your partner...it is normal to be jealous in that situation of yours..but dont let your feelings drives you into something...you must control and ovepower your attitude...try to talk with your bf regarding what you feel in a nice way...maybe in that way, both of you can settle things up...there is harm in trying...just trust your partner and step aside the jelousy that you feel...
1 person likes this
