Relationship: Mixed Feelings

United States
May 24, 2009 8:39pm CST
My current boyfriend doesn't have a job, he isn't smart, and he's not going to get a job anytime soon. We can't discuss things intellegently and sometimes he just can't show affection the way I need him to. But other times he's very sweet. And I always know he loves me. And for some reason, I love him madly. I gave up my life and my future for him. I gave up college and family and friends for him. But I sometimes doubt. Like now. And I think about my ex girlfriend, who was beautiful and affectionate. She's on the same wavelength as me. And I honestly believe she is my soul mate, whether as a true friend or a partner. But the physical relationship was bad, because we were both submissive. I tried to be dominant, but it still was horrible for me even though it was good for her. I think I could still get her back if I tried. But should I? What should I do? I gave so much, and I love so much... but I'm so frustrated. And it's not getting any better.
1 response
meandmy3
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
25 May 09
Veggie you need to ask yourself some very hard questions right now, like where do you want to be in five to ten years, could you see yourself getting married to this guy and do you want a life long relationship with him. If the answer is no then you need to end it. From what you have said he is not going places in life and well if you want a better life for yourself then you need to associate yourself with and date people that can help you get there. I know that sounds bad, but you can fall in love with anyone and you have to be careful. I am not sure what your age is, but you are old enough to be in college so you need to think about what your future truly holds with this person and if that is the life that you want. If it is not the life you want then you need to get out.
VeggieMoon
@VeggieMoon (18)
• United States
25 May 09
I know he won't marry me. I've been with him a year and a half and he still refuses to say even a maybe. I do want a life long relationship with it, but he's not going anywhere. I can't take care of both of us and he doesn't seem to do anything about it. I'm 19 years old and I gave up college for him. It's not the life I want, but I don't know how I could get out when I love him so much. I guess that would be the real problem.
meandmy3
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
25 May 09
You have to love yourself more and be strong. I know it is hard to walk away from someone you love, but to be honest if he loves you he would have never asked you to give up college, you need to go back to college, you need this for you, for your future and your life. This is not what you want or need. Hard I know but you should do this for you. It may be difficult at first, but just imagine all those great guys at college. and oh my word you are only 19, you have all of your life for love.. have fun for a while, hang out and be single.