Should I stay or go?
By khayshenz
@khayshenz (1384)
United States
May 25, 2009 5:18pm CST
My bf and I have been together for about a year and 2 months now. Though I always tell everyone that he's a great guy and that I highly cherish him, sometimes i think about breaking up with him for a couple of reasons. One of them is time - lately he's been working a lot and we haven't had a chance to spend time together (please note that this is a semi-long distance relationship - ideally, we would spend time with each other on weekends). And sometimes he doesn't call due to his "busy-ness."
I know that he works a lot (12-13 hours/day) and I trust that he is AT WORK and nowhere else. I also know that his employer trust him a lot thus asking him to work on weekends if he can in order to "get things done" (nothing seems to be "get done" when he's not working, according to his boss). But at some point, shouldn't my bf be able to say "not this weekend" to his boss?
It's been 3 weekends now-and I'm really sick of this.
I've never been this serious with anyone before and I feel like we've got great potential. But if it's like this now, how is it gonna be when we're married (IF we get married, and yes we've talked about getting married)?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Randync (544)
• United States
26 May 09
If you are having doubts you should tell him and lay it on the table. If his working so much bothers you then be prepared to give him up. However when you are older you will understand that is better to have a guy who works hard than one that won't work at all.
1 person likes this
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
26 May 09
Like I've stated above - he knows. I've been completely honest about how I feel - and sincerely appreciate the fact that he's a hard worker - one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.
But surely at some point in time a person would put away at least an hour or two for the one he/she loves if he/she means a lot to that person, no?
I'm not asking that his world would revolve around mine (I would hate that!) - all I want is an hour or two of his 168 hours (one week). =/
1 person likes this
@csrthacker (48)
• United States
25 May 09
I am very sorry for your situation. It is very hard to be in a relationship with someone who has to be away from you so much. The most important thing you can do is to let him know how you feel. Tell him how much it hurts you that he seems to always choose work over you, lately. Make sure he understands that it comes from a place of missing him and wanting time for the two of you and not from jealousy or fear. Be completely honest always. If he knows how much this hurts you and continues to put his job ahead of your relationship, you may want to reconsider the seriousness of your partnership.
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
26 May 09
He knows - I've told him recently (just this past week) about how much it pains me. And he told me that he hates doing this to me, and miss me dearly as well.
We'll see what happens this weekend.
He said he's not working- but that's what he said two weekends ago about this past weekend.
If he doesn't show up this weekend - I think I'm calling it quits. =/ =*(
1 person likes this
@csrthacker (48)
• United States
26 May 09
I am sorry that you are still troubled with this. It's very good to have everything in the open. In the end, you have to listen to your heart. If your pain isn't being lessened, it may be time to cut your losses. I'm hoping for him to make the time this weekend. Good luck to you both.
@littlebeansprout (187)
• United States
26 May 09
If you feel like this relationship has potential then don't give up. Talk to your bf and tell him how you feel. Maybe set up a special date, make reservations at a restaurant or something. That way he will have to tell his boss no. If you decide to get married maybe the commitment will make him want to work less?
Good Luck!
