Open Adoption

That is such a tough decision, you want the baby and you do not want the mother to say no so you feel like you should give the grandmother legal rights and at the same time there is the concern that if you do allow legal rights to the grand mother she will insist that she always get her weekend. I would also be concerned with the biological mother being there and changing her mind after a few weekend visits. This is a tough decision to make. I am not sure I would have grandparent rights writen in to a legal document. Expecially if I had only known them for the amountof time I was trying to adopt a baby. People can generally mind their manners for 9 months to a year before they show you who they really are. Instead I would talk with her and tell her that she is welcomr to come to the house and visit her grandchild often, but that you are uncomfortable letting a new baby travel, for health reasons. This is a very legitament argument.

I think that you should allow it, the grandmother will be a benefit to you and your husband and your family. However this is the time to get the rules down and in writing, she can know the child that is fine but over night stays??? i would question that and would want the courts to help in laying out the ground rules etc. Like are you going to want the mother there, plus I guess this means that you are going to let the child know that they are adopted?

I agree with the other person, it is best to discuss things with her and explain your concerns. Ensure her that you want her to be a part of the baby's life, but that you are not comfortable being legally obligated to a set amount of visitation. Honestly, in many natural births, grandparents do not have a legal right to see the child a set number of days per month anyway. If the birth mother is still willing to sign over rights anyway, do not add the grandparent clause. The only way I might consider writing the grandmother into the adoption is a general statement along the lines of, "(Grandmother) will be allowed reasonable visitation when (adoptive parents) deem appropriate. Visitation may or may not be supervised, according to (adoptive parents) wishes and will occur at the location of (adoptive parents) choosing." That gives you all the options that natural parents have. You say where, you say when, and you say whether or not you will be present. It may sound harsh to her, but when you explain your concerns, it should make more sense.