What To Do If YourTeenage Daughter is Pregnant?

You pretty much described everything that runs through your mind when this happens, my daughter just turned 20 in January, and her daughter turned 1. She was barely out of high school. However, the one remark that you made, wasn't the case at all......she was not a 'problematic' daughter. She did great in school, she was a member of the 4-H club for 10 years, so she wasn't what you would think of as 'problematic'. She was 18 when she became pregnant, and what was the hardest part for me, I was living 1600 miles away at that time, which made it very hard for me.

Alright, first off, I would sit her down, and talk to her about what she has done and what her future holds. How did it happen? Ask her those kinds of questions. Remain calm, and come up with a punishment you see is fit. If she decides on an abortion: Support her through this. I am no woman myself, but I can certainly understand how you would feel if you have a developing baby growing inside of you, taken away. Its controversial whether it should be legal or not. I think it should remain legal because it will cost a lot less in the long run, and can teach the person a life lesson, to be more responsible. If she decides to keep it: Make damn sure she goes to school. If she can not go to school, see if there is a home-schooling option, and support her as much as you can. There should still be a punishment for what she has done. It is an act of betrayal. If I had a daughter and she broke that news to me, I would keep her under close supervision at all times from that moment on. I would also bring the boy over and have a very long talking to about what they have done. If and when she does have the baby, I guess just make sure she is still in school as much as possible, or learning from home. There are many options. Maybe call a social worker or a pregnancy care center for more help

You are absolutely, totally wrong when you say "The feelings you have when you hear that your daughter is pregnant is shock, disappointment, anger, betrayal, sadness and confusion." When my 17 year old told me she was expecting I was overjoyed and excited! I was not afraid for my daughter at all. The questions that you say arise did not arise for me....those questions are for the mother, not the grandmother...my daughter chose to discuss things with me but the final choices were hers. I was ready and willing to stand behind her no matter what choices she made. Once they are making their own choices they have grown away from you. You may still be able to influence your offspring but ultimately they will do what they want to do. Kids grow up, some sooner, some later. A parent NEVER stops worrying about their child...you just have to let go and let them manage as best they can...they need to realise that choices have consequences.

yOU LOVE HER & SUPPORT HER IN EVERY WAY U CAN. IT IS A SHOCK BUT U DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR CHILDREN.

Hi Zandi, This is a very sensitive issue and a good discussion topic too. Well, I am puzzled as I am trying to impersonate a mother of a daughter and am in the identical situation. Now as my daughter is pregnant I would be shocked and sad as it were but as this is my problem I have to think on this. May be for her better future I would suggest that she went for an abortion.

It's a sad case more than half of the times,,One good solution is that the guy takes her as a wife,,or else we would force him to do it so,,The second choice is not a happy one though,,The 2 should be able to decide,, as the parents got no better choice I guess,,we always say whatever happens ..happens for the best

pregnancy out of wedlock is considered as a taboo here in our society but i do agree that yelling is not an option.what is done is done,you will be in shock,but now your daughter needs your support,i think you shouldnot go for abortion.(its of no fault of the child growing in her.)

ya figure out to do after awhile!

Hi Zandi! It would really be a very difficult situation if one's teenage daughter suddenly breaks the news that she is pregnant. No parent would like to be in such a situation. In this case decision would also become very very difficult, weather to go for abortion (that too cannot be done, if the girl is in advanced stage of pregnancy) or to go ahead with delivery. No one prefers that his/her unwed daughter should give birth to a child. If this happens with me, I would also not able to think, what to do and what not to do. However, I feel, we need to educate our children in such a fashion that they could know - what is wrong for them and what is right for them and we should try to keep a close watch on our children. Excellent Post.

My daughter was 20 and unmarried. All we did was ask her what she wanted and that we would support her no matter what she decided. Yelling at her would have done nothing good. She was already pregnant. What's done is done! She had a beautiful baby boy, my grandson. I wouldn't have it any other way.

When you hear news like this it is very shocking. Know that this first response is about you. You begin to claim the problem. Sometimes, if you don't snap out of it in a timely fashion, more disaster will ensue. The teen will begin to make decisions based on the level of your emotional trauma. The young teen's fears and confusion is ignored. Granted, this is a major detour in the spice of life that you have envisioned. However, two people are depending on your support and clear-headedness. Please don't pay a great deal of attention to the judgements of others around you. You and your daughter have a tremendous life issue to deal with and that should not be a "community project". It is a circumstance that will test your most profound beliefs and the teen's perception of you. Do not let your stuff to crowd out her needs at this time. I know that it is hard, but it is doable.

Hello my friend zandi458 Ji, I appriciate your feelings, It might not hold good for me, but we come across such situation. Firstly, person gets greatest shock, a disperated condition comes in the family for all members. I would say, let's face the situation, without worrying society and allow birth of the child. Prove that, firstly we failed to bring up child and made her aware about the consequences of such results. It was a parent duty to keep close eye on growing daughter's behaviour. Now it is time for parents to face. Let us accept the truth. We never faced such a problem. In fact, we had to consult Gynic for my married daughter, after 5 yrs of married life. I could never imagine, I could never face such a situation. I would collapse. May God bless you and have a great time.

at the end of the day that is your baby, and bear in mind that she was probably very frightened to tell you that she is pregnant and knows that you ar disappointed. there is nothing that you can do about the situation but be loving, comforting and supportive aas this is a very scary time in her life and she needs your support at this crossroads, and how you react will speak volumes about the type of parent that you are and will affect your relationship either positively or negatively depending on how you react. at the end of the day , she is looking to you for direction and guidance. it can be disappointing and hard because we all want so much better for our loved ones and having a baby means that your life as you know it ends and changes.

If I'm the mother of the pregnant teenage daughter, I won't abort the baby of my daughter. I'll yell at her first and I'll tell her to continue living normally with the baby and live as happy as she can. I will try my best to be optimistic in life and for her. I can't live in disappointment a lifetime that started in the mistake of my daughter. As long as I live, there is always a way. A problem has its solution, so we have to continue living and correct the mistakes of our family by continually supporting her, for daughters need their mothers in times like this. I think she could save a better future, recover from her mistakes and be a good mother towards her child

this is a hard situation really. I am not married and don't have children for now, but it would just be a hard job for me to handle this situation. to avoid such cases, I wouldn't fill my daughter with threats and fears. I don't think this is the best way to teach something to a human. if this thing happen, I would look for the chances of abortion in the early stages.

We all make mistakes in life, that's how we learn. Whether it is a mistake or not, you should talk to her. Don't yell and cry about what she is doing to herself and everyone else. She really needs someone to talk to right now because she is just as scared as you are. Whether or not she wanted to get pregnant she is still scared because inside she already knows what this is going to change in her life. She needs to feel that you will be beside her whether she chooses to keep the baby or not. A baby is a blessing and no one should ever feel that it's anything but that. Many young people have gotten pregnant and given it up or aborted that baby and years down the road they want one and can't have one. You don't hear about it but I have heard it many times. Just be there for her and talk to her. Don't condem her for it and ask her how she feels about it. I know we are always afraid that we are going to be the one picking up the pieces but is it really that bad when you look into that babies eyes and see that it loves you no matter what? Good luck and I send my blessings on to you and your family.

hi zandi, how are u? good question. i am still unmarried and never hope that this situation will come to my life. but god knows. if it happens to my life then at first i shall study the situation which makes her pregnant. if she is right then no abortion and i shall permit if she wants to raise the baby. yah i know, it will be a major problem for her marrige and i shall try to convince that person behind all these. if he agree, then ok, otherwise i shall search a separate person who is liberal to this factor. but everything will depend on situation. oh god save me from such a situation. thanks.

This is the worst problem to hear, Oh my God. Its hard to accept and receive this incident I am too disappointed with this.This is the case that parents avoided to their daughter. It take more days and months to recover the effect for this situation. I cant handle this right away.

It is very regretful if such a situation arises. The best way to deal with that situation probably depends upon the situation your daughter is in. If she can marry the father of the would be child then the problem gets solved,but if she is in her early teens then you can't marry her out. My verdict is still marry her out with the same guy, or else, go for abortion, if possible. if neither is possible then I an not decided what should be done. You need to scold your daughter no doubt, but on the other hand you should also make sure that you need to balance it out.

You have to be right there in the middle. She's prgenant. She can't possibly understand what's going on. However, pushing her out of your life, out the door, and into the streets, or doing something to the extreme of punishing her is most likely going to make her so unstable that she will be a harm to herself and her baby. You have to have tough love for her. You have to teach her, as you would when she was older, how to take care of her child. New parents are new parents, no matter the age, and dealing with the situation should be dealt as if it is something you all will work through. However, having a good talk with her, lovingly, about what a baby means economically, health wise, food wise (you have to eat healthy, and so does the baby), and other ways, in a way that she can understand is advised. I haven't had a child yet, but I do know a lot about both perspectives on this situation. Being too light will cause her to be a careless mother, and being too rough will also cause her to be a careless mother. After all, she is a kid herself and is still trying to find her place in the world (as we all have or are), so the addition of a baby will just make that just that much more difficult.