Advice: My Spouse has been very irritable since my daughter entered toddlerhood
By minnie15
@minnie15 (143)
United States
May 27, 2009 6:43pm CST
Hi Everyone,
I need some advice on how to deal with my spouse. He has been very irritable with me and my daughter over the past few months. He is very short with us, yells at both of us quite a bit.
Two days ago, he got very irritated at my daughter because she wouldn't brush her teeth and hit her in the back very hard. I called him on it and he seems very ashamed that he lost his temper. He actually went in her room and cried and asked him to forgive her.
My husband has never been a violent person. He has always been very loving. This is a first for me. He just seems like everything irritates him...actually since we had our daughter. Parenthood has changed him. I know the economy is bad right now and he is stressed about finances and college. It seems like everything makes him angry. I don't know what to do or how to deal with him. I know he is a good person because he has always been...I just don't know how to get him to realize that he needs to find a way to manage his stress. Any advice you can give will be very much appreciated.
4 responses
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
28 May 09
Try to lift him up, praise everything that he does that is great, let him know what a great father he is. Being a father is a hard thing, the first two years are hard, then the child reaches a age that they are talking back, tantrums start etc. You can survive this but you have to support one another and come up with a form of acceptable discipline for your daughter. As well as a code the two of you can use when things are getting heated, when he feels himself losing it and as if he needs a break, he needs to be able to tell you without you judging him for needing to go be alone for a while, and vice versa
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
28 May 09
I agree completely, this is expecially hard for the dad because he has been used to all of your time and now you have to change how you spend your time.
Not to mention how hard it is on you having to deal with a husband they is not sure how to act and a 2 year old that is just learning how to act.
@leomermarie (108)
• Philippines
28 May 09
Parenthood should be a blessing. But our world is not perfect! But a happy home makes heaven come near us. A mother and a wife play an important part in keeping the house a home. You should be a homemaker, not necessarily leaving your job but making your home smell like newly bake bread.
My advice: Start your day with a prayer and ends it with a prayer with your family. Family worship in the morning and evening makes family member close to one another and to God. Remember...God treasure every family.
If you need a book about family...I recommend the book, I am using...FAMILY LIFE GROWTH SERIES by Ellen White. If you cannot see it to the nearest bookstore to your place you may get it thru website: www.leomermarie@sulit.com.ph
Have a happy parenting.
@dropofrain (1167)
• India
28 May 09
It has been observed that as and when there are toddlers in the house, you tend to get irritated. As and when kids are growing they are always cribbing about one or the other thing. The sound of crying is like a background score in the house. A man is already tensed with the work and when he comes back and hears all those sounds, it leads to the highest limit. So try and keep the baby happy when your spouse is nearby.
@minnie15 (143)
• United States
28 May 09
Do you have some suggestions on how to keep the child happy? I know that sometimes she is testing me and can throw some serious trantrums. I don't want to spank her...but sometimes I don't think time outs are working even though I have been consistent with her.
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
28 May 09
Does he have 30 minutes a day for just him. And does he have 30 minutes a day for just him and the little one (they could go to the park or play in the yard or go for a walk). And do you have at least 30 minutes a day just for him.
I know life can be stressful for you and him, expecially when little ones are involved. While he is having his daughter time you get your alone time, spend it wisely.
I am assuming that you still trust him with your daughter that is why I suggest this time for them to be together.
By doing this you will all get an hour and a half of stress free time.
Now that I have been nice and made a suggestion I will tell you what I would tell my husband: Touch my daughter again out of anger and not only will you be picking yourself up off the floor, it will be the last time in a long time you will see her.
I hope that the first thing works for you and that you never have to use the second.
@minnie15 (143)
• United States
28 May 09
Thanks. I will try to use the first. I also thought about the second...but this is the first time this has ever happened and I didn't want to start an argument. If it were to ever happen again...rest assured...that would be exactly what I would tell him. Thanks again.
