How serious can internet love be?
By laine17
@laine17 (17)
United States
May 27, 2009 10:38pm CST
So I've been talking to a guy online for a year now, and i guess it's serious - we say we are in love, we spend every minute we can talking to each other. We've seen each other in pics and on cam but he's in another country, so we haven't met yet. I would love to know about others' experiences in this area. The more you talk the more I will open up and perhaps we can learn from each other?
6 responses
• Philippines
28 May 09
I am a guy but quite frankly I'm no believer in Internet Love (if there is such a concept). I have female friends who spent most of their day looking for "love" or a semblance of the concept of love over the web.
It is already difficult getting to know the person next door or even a brother, a sister or a cousin and to venture further into a relationship with little close encounter is really virtually jumping into the unknown. It is risky.
I don't suggest avoiding meaningful conversations because it is truly still the best way to build relationships. I just believe that the web is not a good "world" to start a relationship that you can call "Love".
Take your hands off the keyboard and risk doing a phone conversation.
Personally, I am old fashion when it comes to relationships but human nature is not easily drawn to sophisticated "virtual fencing" in relationships. We still crave for real conversation where we hear our "friend's" voice, or see their eyes when we give our piece in the conversation.
Don't fall in love. Know the person and decide to love that person.
People who fall in love hit the ground face down and wake up to a concept called divorce. Be deliberate, be cautious, be curious, but be really aware and then make up your mind to love....
• Philippines
29 May 09
Maybe I am jaded (shame on me)! It is true that love really boils down to trust. I guess you shouldn't listen to people like me. It is true what you say that love really has the same risk in real person-to-person interaction as in the web. Go find your love, be happy because truly you already radiate what is wonderful in life, a sense of adventure in the world of love. The world will be beautiful and better if a lot more people are like you.
@laine17 (17)
• United States
28 May 09
I appreciate your comments but I have to say, you're really jaded when it comes to love. I've been in plenty of face to face relationships was even married for 12 years so I know how divorce goes and even saying that I'm still willing to give love a chance. Everyone should be cautious, true, but part of love is trust. Now i realize a person should protect themselves and I do...but the person I meet who I know through someone else in person could just as easily beat me, hurt me, kill me or break me as one that I meet online, true? Just food for thought.
@robertshay00 (446)
• United States
28 May 09
Ok here we go need to do background check on him you don't need to find out he want's to kill you when you first meet him and PLEASE take a freind with you without him knowing you did THIS IS YOUR LIFE..
if he's loneing like alot of us our when we are not with someone one..Then just understand if he is who is than ask him for his SSI number and do a back groung check..
I don't mean to scare you but BE REAL PEACE
@laine17 (17)
• United States
28 May 09
I've actually, in the earlier days of our relationship, considered hiring a private detective even contacted one in his country but that seems so, well, untrusting and it's kinda bad of me to do that behind his back, dont you think? But if I ask him for his SSI number I guess that's up front. I just wonder how he would know I'm not using that number to steal his identity. I think if he wanted to kill someone though, he would just do it an easier way lol. I mean why court a victim for homicide for 18 months online? ;)
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
28 May 09
Hi laine17, well we started that way but it only took as 6 months, then I really traveled just because I want to see her, I can't stand it anymore being far away from her, and now were now 2 years and 4 months in our relationship. We really made a point that time to text,to chat, and even call each other. It wasn't that easy, just to be close and near her even we were so far from each other. That time I was even thinking to Cebu first cause I have a job offer. She cried cause she was expecting that I'll be with her in Manila. So I just went to Manila even I know I'll still look for a job just to be near her. I think when your really in love you will do everything just to prove your really serious with what you feel. Love moves in mysterious ways! Have a nice day!
@laine17 (17)
• United States
28 May 09
Hi n30wing...i love hearing that it has worked out so well for you and your love. Right now we are planning that I will fly to Europe in the fall...last of Oct. or early Nov. depending on his work schedule. My schedule is more flexible than his, but I have two little girls so I have to take that into consideration as well. We text, chat and talk on the phone for hours and hours every day, but there's a 6 hour time difference that is a factor...I don't get a lot of sleep lol. Thanks so much for the encouraging response :)
@winman (235)
• United States
29 May 09
Well i can tell you personally i love my GF even if she lives in California and i live in Tennessee its all about if you can be devote and true. If you can stay together online and when you get married it will be perfect cause it last long distance close is just perfect. That's how i see it at least, so if you can trust him be honest and stay devoted it should be a perfect relationship.
@thankyou_0126 (16)
• China
28 May 09
Hi, laine17
I think, if the guy is a Chinese living in China mainland, I give you a advice:
Take care! It's ok you make the general friends. I'm sorry that I said so, but I know Chinese very well.
