Shyness
By gailie
@gailie (32)
Suriname
11 responses
@GraySpirit (103)
• United States
29 May 09
Well, I don't think shyness is a problem if you know how to make it work to your advantage. I'm still a shy person and recently retired, but have had a top management job, married, and travelled around the world.
If you are shy, then maybe you can be an analyst type of person. I'm the type that doesn't say much, but I'm always thinking about the problems and issues. Then when I am confident that I understand the problem, I speak up and share my ideas. Usually, I was able to blow everyone else out of the water because they often didn't analyze the problem. In the end, I had a very high job in my organization.
So I don't mind being shy and don't really want to change. It has worked very well for me. Yes, sometimes people think you're dumb or antisocial because you aren't the first to speak, but if you play it right, perhaps you will come up with the right answers for problems at work or in life.
By having good answers to problems, I eventually learned to speak my mind at the right time when I had thought everything through. Then I would go back to being the mouse.
@gailie (32)
• Suriname
29 May 09
Hai Grayspirit, thanks for the response. i think i should've elaborated more. shyness in itself is not an issue. i myself i'm still shy, i surely don't want to be the center of attention, but i do think its a problem when you're too afraid to even speak your mind or say what you believe in. lol, funny thing, (my bf calls me mouse:))
@GraySpirit (103)
• United States
29 May 09
Hi Gailie. Even if it makes you tremble, you have to speak out once. Just make sure you've thought it through a lot more than everyone else. If you speak with very good advice, people will begin to recognize that you have something to contribute. Then over time, you will gain confidence in yourself because you will see that people recognize the quality of your words.
Haha ... from one mouse to another. There is nothing wrong with being a mouse, but in your heart, you must aim for the big cheese.
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
29 May 09
I was shy coming up mostly in school. Mostly due to lack of self-confidence, more than anybody else, my mother saw this about me. What changed? Well they say some people, mostly girls, are referred as late blossomers. This was me. I didn't start growing confidence, becoming more comfortable in my skin until I was in the eighth grade, oddly enough it wasn't because of attention from guys, that didn't come until after high school, it was my best friend, I told her all the things I hated about myself, and usually everyone else would tell me ah, or pity, or sympathize, she didn't have the same response, she said "So What?" and that's all it took for me was one person showing me all the things that were right, when all I seen was everything wrong.
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
29 May 09
Lol, yes I am lucky, I will agree with that. And I think she knows the effect she's had, between her and I we are the ones there for each other through everything, don't find many friends like that everyday, glad I found her...or maybe she found me. One particular thing I was insecure about in reference to myself, was my leg. I have a skin condition called Keritosis Pilaris, A.K.A chicken skin. It creates a goosebump appearance on your legs sometimes back of arms, and also other places sometimes, but I don't have them anywhere else. It is incurable, unharmful, something like freckles you could say, and it's genetic, it will go away as I pass my twenties. There's treatments for it but no cures, but it's not the worse thing I could live with I've found, I'm thankful now. She asked what imperfections I worried about, that was my number one. She made me feel stupid for how I looked at that, being a person who suffers from a skin condition herself, it leaves red spots on her legs, can't remember the name of it right now, but yeah, so I think she knows how much it meant to me for her just to say those two words...THE WORLD!
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
4 Jun 09
When I was a child I read a lot. I would read stories about girls who would join drama club or something like that to get over shyness and practice public speaking and since I was already performing in school plays I decided to pursue it for a while as I got older.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
4 Jun 09
When I was a child I read a lot. I would read stories about girls who would join drama club or something like that to get over shyness and practice public speaking and since I was already performing in school plays I decided to pursue it for a while as I got over.
@hanah87 (1835)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
I am a shy person too.Sometimes i get the confident and become a little brave.I will out from my shell by looking around all people and find someone who are not good than me.It will make me more confident because i know someone out there who not better than me is success and why not me too??
@amylan (187)
• France
29 May 09
I'm still a kind of shy person but I don't see it's something negative as being shy won't ever hurt others. It's just a part of my personality. It could be an obstacle in my social life but that doesn't mean I have to change myself into somebody else.
@gailie (32)
• Suriname
29 May 09
yes you're right, it does not hurt others. but it's good that you know that it could be an obstacle in your social life. i hope you don't see coming out of your shell as changing into someone your not. i think it's just growing as a person. i mean it's most likely you're not the same person you were 5 years or even 2 years ago.
@AmbiePam (92860)
• United States
29 May 09
Oh yes, I was shy. Painfully shy. I guess as I got older I was able to overcome a lot of my shyness. And then I got sick and had to go to doctors, hospitals over the years...so I had to talk to a lot of different people. In dealing with so many people, I learned to speak up, and that nothing was as bad as I ever thought it would be. Once I started making myself go places, or talking to certain people, it was kind of like I had nothing left to lose. I used to not be able to go in a store and rent a movie! I was that shy.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
31 May 09
I was extremely shy when I was a child and when I was a teenager. Now I am an adult, and I am still kind of shy, but not like I used to be. I have spent a lot of time trying to overcome my shyness in different ways. I wasn't always successful and sometimes I got extremely frustrated. It was a help for me to set some small goals instead of asking too much of myself. I used have a goal about speaking in class, but I never able to achieve that goal no matter how I tried, and after a while I decided to change my goal to something less difficult. My new goal was to speak a small group of people (4 or 5 people) and I managed to achieve that goal.
Another important step if you want to overcome your shyness is self acceptance. I used to think that my shyness made me a bad person and I hated myself and my shyness. When I got older I learned to accept my shyness. It might be annoying and it might make a lot of things difficult, but it isn't something bad or something that makes me a bad person.
@Yori88 (1465)
• Philippines
29 May 09
I was a very shy person when I was a kid until I went to high school. But that shyness diminishes when I was exposed to a lot of extra-curricular activities and the people around me boosted my confidence. Anyway when I was in college I was more exposed and I found out that I could think of less confident people to be my stepping stone to boost my confidence.
@strawberrybaby39 (2086)
• United States
30 May 09
I was always shy in school. all through my school years. And if there are to many people around me I am still that way. Its hard to break the shell of being shy. My sister and brother were never shy. They were always the outgoing type and still are.
@roseyroser (1059)
• United States
30 May 09
I used to be very shy myself. Through experiences in my life, I've learned that I need to stop being shy and just live my life without wondering what people think. When I was in middle school, a bully picked on me to the point where I cried. I was sent to the school counselor and I had to speak in front of the bully and tell him why I didn't like what he did and to stop what he was doing. Before that day, I was too shy (and scared) to stand up for myself. I think going to that counselor helped me a lot.
