Marital Relations with my Hubby

I can't imagine not sleeping with my hubby for over a year. Have you spoken to him about it? Do you have fears of becoming pregnant? I am far from old-fashioned, but I do think that a married woman should share that experience freely with her husband. It's supposed to be that kind of relationship.

I don't understand why you refuse to meet with your husband's wishes. May I ask why did you want to agree to marry him in the first place and refuses to submit to him as a wife? I am not here to judge but maybe there are reasons for your refusal. Whatever it is I hope you can see that men need their wives to be their confidant. Not having any marital relationship for a long time is almost saying that the marriage is over. Rather then holding on to a cold and stale relationship it is better to seek an amicable solution and part ways in the best interest of both parties.

might I ask, what is the point of being married if not to have that? Now, I can understand that if your faith or your health doesn't permit the use of the pill or other methods of birth control, but why be married if you aren't. I can tell you that divorces have been caused for just that issue - and then what?

How long have you been married?... one year is quite a long time not to have relations with him... my husband works abroad so it can be hard at times... and i don't think i can help myself not to have relations with him when he is around... how is your husband taking this?... i think you should talk about this sort or thing with him...

Hello checapricorn, Oh, I don't like to hear this, friend! What happened to both of you? Don't you have anymore feelings towards your husband? I think a marriage still can survive without an intimate relation but it is just hard sometimes... It is not the most important thing in marriage life but it is still important especially to young couples like us. Why don't both of you try to make it better? Having a child might be a good solution but I don't understand why your husband doesn't want it. I hope you can solve this matter without resorting to the worst decision.

Seems there is doubt about your feeling for him. That really needs a lot of thinking to what should it be the best for both of you. What matters now is that you have to have that brought out in a conversation for only the two of you and resolve what should it be. That is to tell the truth and respect each other to what would be your decisions for the both of you. There is nothing to resolve if you will not have that be talked about.

I am not sure why you do not want to be his wife? If there is any relation as husband and wife, then its natural to have similar kind of things. Also why he wants you to have BC?

You don't mention why you won't take birth control. It sounds like both of you are not ready to have children though so you both should use protection. He shouldn't leave the birth control up to you only. Are you not physically attracted anymore to him or did you marry him just to get a green card? That is just plain wrong in my opinion.

There's a natural way - calendar method. I don't see why you haven't had relations with him for a year. For the men, that really is tough. Might it be that you don't really like him at all and was just forced to marry him for convenience? I don't want to judge or something, but most women who came from the Philippines are in it to be able to go to another country (I hope you're not like that) but if it's really love, I couldn't see why you could stop his advances on relations for a year.

I think that you have serious problems and would suggest counselling. Thisnk about why yo9 do not want to have relations with him. Is he not the same person that you fell in love with? what is different about him? do you have chiildren? why won't you use birth control? I think that you nheed help. This situation cannot continue like this as it may end in your marriage being broken. This about what you do want and you both need to talk about this. Openly

I dont want to be offensive, but to be honest, I think he's doing the right thing in wanting to divorce you. If you're only just married, you'll not want to be having children straight away so every couple has to think about birth control, yet you talk about this like he's a monster trying to force you to take poison or something. I am on an implant for example. Its great. I actualy forget its there most of the time. I love my partner very much, but we are not ready for children yet. Relations are very important in a relationship and you must at least try intimacy. I sympathise with you when you say that it hurts as it hurts me sometimes, but I do it anyway because this is the way in which myself and my partner can actually be intimate. If you do not wish to have relations with him, it does sound as though you are using birth control as an excuse not to. It may sound cynical but there are other ways of getting a green card and its not fair to trap another human being in a loveless marriage. Just admit you dont want him, sign the divorce and move on. Sorry again for any offense caused, but thats my interpretation of the matter.

What has taking birth control got to do with your green card. Plus you're starting a new job, child at this time would hinder your future at the moment, let savour the green card, enjoy your husband. Whatever strain the two of you had, get over it and if you can't, get divorce, no need pretending, looking to me like you only wanted him to get a green card -shame on you.

Personally, if I hadn't had relations with my Hubbie for a year, and had no plan to have relations with him; I wouldn't be with him. But that is something you need to think about... do you ever want to have relations with him again? If not, is he happy not to as well?Maybe your Hubbie would like you to use BC, because he would like to have relations with you. I think you should ask your Hubbie why he wants you to take BC after so long of not having relations. I guess the only real answer I can give is talk things through with your Hubbie, so you both know where you stand, and what you both want. Hope that helps:)

I think if you don't want to have relations with him, you might want to think about the reasons behond it. If you're happily married and love eachother it's natural to want to be intimate together. If there's something keeping you from that I'd really evaluate whether to try to fix it or move on seperately.

the fact that you don’t want to take birth control means you want to have a baby and start a family. Do you believe this is the right time for that? I mean you have just had your GC, you have started working and the country is still new to you…there are so many possibilities to explore, why do you want to start a family right now? Do you feel you have everything planned out? And why does your husband not want to start a family? What are his reasons? I think you both should just sit and talk one more time and give yourselves some more time to work it out together.

This is totally strange. It is really starnge to live with your life partner for one year with out any intimate activities.And birth control issue can be talked and settled between you two.You could have had birth control and gone for it. well, there is something is missing. So I think it is better to end the relationship that is not real.

Well relations are a huge part of marriage, and something that men need, especially if they are in a relationship. Is this not a marriage of love? I am sorry but I have to ask. If this was not abouot love then perhaps your husband is willing to live that way, but being a married woman I know how much my husband needs and wants it and if he has to go more than a week without it he turns in to a crabby baby. If you love your husband you need to figure out why you are lacking interest and start at least occasionally having relations with him, unless he does not care either in that case then keep on keeping on.

What is really the real score between you and your hubby? If you still love him then you can patch up things between the two of you. If you don't love him anymore then have a divorce. I just don't understand why he wants you to used birth control.

hey friend dont take any sudden action 2wards it.. try 2 talk 2 ur husband about y is he behaving lyk dat?? it is possible dat he has sum reason 4 it ...God bless!!

I think you two should consult with the doctor. and instead of feeling comfortable with it, sit down and talk to him about it. am not sure if any of us mylotters can help since it's a real private matter between couples. basically you got scared experiencing it the first time.