Wanting to speak your mind?

I think it comes with age. I was in my mid-40's before I got really comfortable saying what I thought because I finally got to the point where I didn't care what people thought of me if I expressed my opinion. As you get older, you come to know what is really important and other peoples' opinions of you get pretty low on the list! The other thing you acquire is tact. You learn to say things in such a way as to not grossly offend someone. Not always, but usually. That helps!

There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind as long as you realize there is a responsibility that goes with it. I was in my early 30s before I started to practice confrontation. And you know what? The world didn't come to a screeching halt, and nothing exploded. I could jack my jaws all day around my immediate family, but when I really needed to confront someone about something...there was no way. That isn't a problem anymore. I try not confront when I'm emotional about something though.

I have always been very outspoken and I do not think age has very much to do with it. However I have noticed that older people feel they have earned the right say say what they feel but unfortunately they can also be very rude in the way they say it and no-one earns to right to be rude. I have never had any problems saying what I mean but I do make sure I am not being nasty or confrontational.

I think we should not be scared to voice out our opinions. I understand very much that there are some users here trying their best to learn English as they go along and sometimes the way they mean something might be misinterpreted. As for some other types of discussions which are rather controversial, if I feel the need to add something, I would. I will not hesitate to because mylot is about discussions. But I will not succumb to rudeness, vulgarity and degrading of someone based on their race, intelligence and physical condition. I respect that some members here in mylot have some disabilities, and I think they are a part of mylot family and I treat them one of my own.. I hate bullies and will not tolerate them. If I encounter such (so far, no) in mylot, I would ignore and if the user persists then I'll think of something else. But generally, mylot users are alright and way cool.

Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open. You have to pick your battles, and when you do finally speak up for yourself, speak only the truth and no matter what happens, do not speak to cause pain unless forced to.

I have been an introvert and shy person all throughout my life I'm 52 years old. In my younger days I had the same apprehension about being confronted by people whom I speak to, so I kept thoughts to myself. But in later years when I used to travel and meet people from different walks of life, sometimes during a long train journey you end up by discussing issues, thoughts, feelings and ideas with total strangers with conviction of what you think and believe and most of the time you find a great deal of healthy interaction with being confrontative.The topics can vary from religion, politics, and social issues if you are convinced about what you think if right on broad platform, then you can find people who will either agree or disagree without being either offended or hurt. The trick is express thoughts as they come to you, but be analytical and express with confidence you will always find people who you listen to you, but if your thinking is very radical or idealistic be selective, when and whom to speak to it's all a matter of confidence and a strong belief in oneself.

I say my piece when I really feel I have to, and that is usually when something is a principal of mine. I don't always say my piece the way I look at it you have to pick your battles in life.

Hey again Bama!, Sometimes I speak my mind...Sometimes I don't. In my case, I kind of weigh the situation and think about how important the topic is before I decide to speak or not. I remember when I was growing up hearing some sayings about being wiser for listening than for speaking. I'm big on listening, but when something really needs to be said, I try to say it. There have probably been a few times when I've remained quiet that I probably shouldn't have. But there may have also been a few times when I spoke up that I shouldn't have. When it comes to standing up for others or for yourself, I think it's important to be able to speak up. When it comes to simply being critical of others then I think more people should just keep their mouths shut. Thanks for another great discussion!

I used to just speak my mind and let the chips fall where they may, and for the most part, I am still like that as it is my true nature to just be honest about everything. But since joining mylot, I have learned how to try and speak my mind without always causing conflicts. I try to be considerate of other's feelings. But there are plenty of situations where someone just has to say something to the perpetrator of wrongs, but nobody has the courage. I will often be that one person alot of the time and to heck with the fallout.

at times i feel like i need to say soemthing and ended up not saying anything at all, specially at work. my wife says that if i have this feeling then i need to say what i feel but say it nicely. thats what i am scared of, i am not good on words so i might say it rudely so i rather zip my mouth. sometimes i just think of it first then say it when i am all ready. i just dont speak my mind out easily to others, but with my wife i say it all.

I have always been very plain spoken. it sets well w/some & some it doesn't. noone has to worry about where i stand on things. if u don't want the truth don't ask my opinion. i had alot rather people be that way w/me to but not all are. i think everyone has a right to do that & to express their feelings. i don't think it's good to keep things all bottled up inside. if by speaking your mind causes confrontations it's not u it's the one u are comfronting that can't accept the truth.

Speaking your mind is over rated. People who engage their mouths without regard to how it will affect others usually end up in hot water, just look at the new candidate for judge.

Hi, Most of the time I say whats on my mind. As I have gotten older and in bad relationships it taught me to speak out more. There are times that I don't speak out it depends on the situation to. If your trying not to hurt them just say I need to speak with you but I don't want you to take this the wrong way. You will say what is on your mind in a way you think is best.

I have always been a confident person and never feared speaking my mind and thoughtss. The thing is not to offend others and be mean. I enjoy conversing with other to hear their opinions and outlooks but I keep away from politics, religion and money so as not to start an argument. I have found these discussions to cause problems unless you know the person quite well. As far as worrying about what others think about me is not an issue. I care about what I think about myself---caring for people and not offending others.

I am introvert and always shy. The thing is everytime I say something, someone always misunderstands or I will say just the words that will ruin someone's day which I don't always mean to do. So I used to write it down instead of saying it. Writing it makes me think about what I want to say before I write it down, so it gives me time to arrange the words in the way people can understand and get rid of the hostility even if I feel like strangling them. I have been through a lot of disappointments by friends and strangers, so what people think of me is not a big deal anymore. I do care about what people think in terms of my small business, but other than that I don't think I can control what people think about me anyway. Someone said that because I'm not confident I become arrogant - which is the lamest thing I've ever heard. I decide not to worry about everyone else, how does that make me arrogant? she said that because I don't care what she thinks, she has no control over me and my life and she doesn't like losing that control. Well if that is arrogant, then I love being arrogant. Aside from people like her, I find that voicing my opinion with enough explanation is generally accepted. Maybe one or two are looking for a fight but I can ignore them easily, unless they are worth my time I won't bother what they say or think.

Hi Bamakelly, The most complex thing after the universe is the human mind. As you don't know about yours own how can you expect of others? No way. What and how people feel about you can not be said. Even the thinker are not sure as to what they have thought about you. so think no more on this and be in yourself if you are doing god. It would pay in the long run.

I'm 31, and it's taken me years to get to the point where I'm able to assert myself whenever I need to. I finally got to the point where I was sick and tired of not speaking out whenever I knew something was wrong. Case in point: my ex-boyfriend did such wonderful things as slam me against the side of his truck when we had a falling-out one day, poke me in the chest when I really didn't want to be touched (but since we were dating, I figured it was good to just keep my mouth closed), and so on and so forth, and it was only after we broke up that I figured out what he'd done and I swore to myself that that was never going to happen again. Since then, I've gotten much more vocal about things.

I am quite the oposite of you...I am a very open, forthright, honest, and sometimes opinionated person who has no problem expressing what I feel. NOW...that could be a good thing or a bad thing. Some people don't want to hear the truth, and would rather have a "yes" person as a friend. Others would rather have just nice things come out of people, rather than some negative things. Some would rather have just those around them who are Optimists, rather then a Pessimist. For me...there's got to be a balance. If I feel lousy, and crabby, and want to gripe, I want a friend who understands and says, "Go for it, I'm here to listen". If my friend wants my opion, she knows she is going to get the real thing, not just what I think she wants to hear. But, at the same time, I want to be free to express how I feel about someone or something, without being laughed at. If I like someone, when nobody else likes that same person, I'm not going to join their stance, and pretend I don't like them. I will give them the good points of that person. Overall, be yourself, like yourself enough to know that what you feel and say is important to you. Of course, in expressing yourself, we have to have tact. When it comes out mean, it does give others a chance to ignore what you have said. So it should be said in a calm, and kind way...then what you say will have better results, and people will respect you and the wisdom you have.

i think assertiveness should depend upon the situation. sometimes it is better to shut up if it would mean more time to think about and examine the situation. it would also help if know what the other person wants so that in the end you'd be able to agree to a compromise. i also have a good way of expreesing myself.. it is in this format: i feel_____ when you _______ because_____. in the future, i would like you to_____.

i think assertiveness should depend upon the situations, sometimes it's better to shut up if it would mean more time to think about and examine the situation. more often than not, i aggravate a fight beacuse of my assertiveness. basically, i learned the hard way. i hope you'd be able to determine the consequences of your assertion. it would also help if you know what the other person wants so that in the end you'd be able to agree to a compromise.