Why do things change after marriage ????

this is just my opinon, and it may be all wrong, but i think people just get married much, much to early in most cases. i know that people used to marry very young, and but times have changed. there is much more that people need or want to do when they are young, and they are meeting more people than ever before. in the past, people were much more likely to stay in the area they were born in, therefore did not meet as many people, so were less likely to find someone else they were attracted to after marriage (not saying it never happened, it did, just not as often, or so it seems to me). now even if one stays in the same place all of one's life there are likely to be new people around because others are more prone to coming and going. i did not get married until my mid-thirities and i am so very glad. i had time to experience things, date many men, go places, pursue my education (though i did not complete it until i had been married for awhile, i had a good start on it), and really get to know *me* before committing myself to someone else. i think many people have a hard time knowing who and what they are when they are younger. i know i did. another problem is children. i don't have any. while i'm not saying that people should not have children, it appears to me that many people jump into the baby game much before they are mentally/emotionally ready. this puts huge stress on the parent's relationship. while i know that if one waits until things are "perfect" to have a baby the baby will never happen, i think using a huge, great more deal of planning, discussing, thinking, and just plain waiting would benefit many couples.

My fiance and I are getting ready for marriage, we do work books to help us. We've heard that it's great we have these workbooks and that they wish they'd had them when they got married. I'm glad to be working on them (the workbooks). I think people get bored easily because there is not much time for relaxation with the economy the way it is. Too much pressure and stress can cause feelings to come out that are hurtful but aren't really meant because of the stress of the economy.

Hi John4Christ, In your discussion, you mention one thing that causes a lot of problems, especially early in a marriage, and that is interfering in-laws. We have to let our children live their own life, raise their children in the way they want and only give advice when it is asked for. Another thing that I often wonder about is that we marry someone because we love them just the way they are, and shortly after we are determined to change them. I think too that couples begin to take each other for granted and that can cause problems. The wife should try to look good for her husband just as she did when they were dating and he should do the same. They must continue to keep excitement in their marriage by doing those special little things to surprise each other. They should continue to go on a date every now and than, if they have children hire a sitter so they can do something special together. Look for all the good points in your partner and compliment them often, also never ever neglect let your love life. These are just a few of my own observations over the years and I'm sure others will add more. Blessings.

life changes after merrige b coz before merrige she/he is your lover and you have dream to merry he/she but after merrige riality comes in life so it will be changed you have to rise child. need to take care of your hubby/wife.... and many more matter i cant write here b coz my E is poor...

Hi John...I don't think the problems lies in them losing interest in one another but in to many people sticking their noses in where they don't belong. Marriage is a gamble at best and when you go into it you expect it to be a life long commitment, but for some that is a hard challenge because of family not allowing the couple to live their own life and make their own decisions and mistakes. They need to be allowed to do this if they are to learn to make their marriage work. When you marry someone you are marrying them not their family that is just something that comes along with the person you choose and as such should keep their minds on their own household and let you tend to yours as you see fit. flutterby

it seems many people love each other less before their marriage,but it is not always this case,lots of couples love each for so many year,even for their lifelong time.so when newly couple get problem,try to communicate as much as possible.evertthing will get better.

People really do have very unrealistic expectations of one another. Also it is too easy to blame our partner when our lives are not turning out as we think they should. If every minute of our lives is not wildly exciting we blame one another instead of working on ourselves.

More and more people are living together common-law, makes a lot of sense to me. No more messy divorces, split up any time, no problem. Contrary to popular belief Marriage is man-made not God-made, and for the convenience of man not God. The male kids take their Fathers name, and the female, their Mothers. What could be more convenient or more practical?

hello john, well i've been married for 5 yrs now and i'm happy with this life and enjoy my life. i think it depends on the couple. it doesn't mean that because we are married we stop being sweet w/ each other, we need it keep the flame burning...its not bad to do things that we do when we are still bf/gf. there are some couples especially when they already have children, they become very serious in life, they focus on their work and children and sometimes tend to forget their "better-half", this should not happen. its important to always express our love for our partner and take some time to enjoy with them. and as to in laws who keeps on bossing over them, they must understand that their children is already married and has its own life and family to build...parents must understand that, but so bad not all parents are like our parents! maybe some get bored coz they don't know how to appreciate things around them, they think its boring so that's what happening. mind over matter. maybe for some, the value of marriage do decreased that's why its easy for them to ask for divorce... well its just my opinion...

It's all about the attitude of people nowadays. I think they thought marriage is all about the beautiful things to enjoy which they are ready enough. But they ignore to consider the possibilities of responsible of being a married couple. They think it was all about what they needs and wants. In my opinion, before we decide to get married, we should ask our self whether we are ready to sacrifice for the sake of the marriage. I also think that getting married is not all about love. It's about responsible and loyalty that you can keep. Love can change time after time. No doubt with that.

I am not sure you can make marriage more interesting, you can however make your commitment stronger. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and one that takes work on both parts. There are going to be hard times, there are going to be difficult things that you have to endure. The key is to be willing to give as well as take. You have to be willing to admit that you are wrong when you are, and even at times when you are not. YOu have to grow with each other and yet still be individuals. marriage is hard, it takes work and should not be taken lightly.

i think you are right and in fact more than 80 percent of couples don't find their marriages interesting anymore after so many years together, marriage is just a union of two people are fights and arguments are meant to happen for different reasons , it all depends on how different couples can handle the pressure, otherwise there will definitely be a break up

It is change because we are now one in the family. Everything is considered , we try to adjust, control, respect, humble and patience to adopt whats the cultures, values, tarditions, and customs of our partner. If we dont know to adjust theres some things occured in your relationship not expected to happen. Its should water and fire , what I mean if the partner is in angry the spouse will be huimble and calm so that there would be a har- mony at home . If there's misunderstanding dont let it come for tomorrow talk it peacefully and clear it before morning.

Love changes so much along the married years because the married couple forget to make themselves lovers as they were before marriage. Women do ask me as to how should they keep their men. The answer is: in the way you got them. Unfortunately, men don't ask so much as to how to keep their women. They don't need to because once their married life is not as spiced up, there are always so man women in line as fillers or diggers of the moment. Where does this place us, women?