When was the right time to give up your relationship?

Philippines
May 30, 2009 1:01pm CST
Last M Last Mother's Day my husband did not greet me but instead we had big fight. I wanted to leave the house but I changed my mind because I love my kids I don't want them to suffer. So I decided not to go. But today is my husband's birthday instead of spending time with me he choose to be with his new friend its fine with me if he spend it to his old friend I will understand or to his relatives but he spend it only to this new person without asking my permission. I get hurt and it upset me I'm very disappointed with him, why his hurting me this much? During are first year of marriage on his first birthday May 30 happens to be Wed. he told me that he will celebrate it on Sun. But he lie to me on May 30 Wed he and his family together with his ex girlfriend had already a party. Then we had also a party on that Sun June 1. I just knew it when the Godmother of my son ask me why I was'nt there on my husband 21st birthday I told her no I was there you were'nt there. Then i found out that there are two sets of party. You know that was 1991 but the pain is still fresh, would you believe that while typing this I'm crying. I hate myself because my mind telling me to leave him but my heart hurt refused. Im so stupid if you're in my shoes what will you do?
3 responses
alabamafizz
@alabamafizz (5)
• Canada
1 Jun 09
Someone once gave me a piece advice that helped me end an unhealthy relationship: If you're not happy MOST of the time, its not worth it. You also have to establish your bottom line-- and whether or not it has been crossed. As for your children: children living in a home where there is an unhappy marriage are affected by that. Divorce is difficult for everyone, but if you're worried about your children, they may be happier if their parents arent fighting and unhappy all the time. Even if you think you're hiding the pain from them, they can sense it and it will affect them. If he was lying to you and seeing his ex girlfriend that early in the marriage, it says something about his commitment to you. If that was the only problem until this one, you might have a marriage worth keeping, but if these problems happen all the time then it might be time to cut your losses. I read this really great book once that opened my eyes to what makes a relationship worth keeping or throwing out. It is called "To good to leave, to bad to stay". I don;t remember the author, but it is basically a series of questions that you have to ask yourself about your relaitonship, and explanations as to how you will find your final answer in the answers to those specific questions.
roushi4000
@roushi4000 (10)
• China
31 May 09
I'm sorry to hear your story.I suggest u calm down first,and try to know whether he love you and what bring you two together,is it true love? Does it worth you to make an effort ? If the answer is yes,try to find a good way to refresh your relationeship. God bless you.
Autumnrose2008
@Autumnrose2008 (1478)
• United States
30 May 09
Grin and bear it. Thats me. I know just how you feel. And like you I wont leave. The only way that I will leave is if he cheats on me. Treat me badly but I love the guy and I know that somewhere he loves me too. I just he he figures it out before its too late. Good luck to you. Keep your head up and just be strong. I would be willing to chat with you one on one if your so inclined send me a private message.