Devistating break up...
@drewsproductions (73)
United States
May 31, 2009 1:37am CST
Oh how sad I am today. I have been so sad that I swear I've lost 3 pounds of my bodies water. Now I feel so sad I could go and kill myself but don't want to burn in hell over a stupid break up.
I was at the local Starbucks cafe with my fiance and we were chatting it up over coffee. We always had occasional kisses but today I got none, not even when I met up with her. So there I was standing there expecting my kiss but nothing. She already ordered me coffee and seemed very serious about what she was going to tell me, so naturally I sat down with a sympathetic look on my face and asked "What's wrong?" Of course she wasn't going to answer me dead on. So I tried approaching the subject from different matters from her job, to our relationship. I couldn't and didn't get anything out of her. She just seemed like her heart and mind were debating each other! I just couldn't stand to look at her. She turned to me and said... "I don't think this will work." Her face looked stone cold. I was apparently in shock since I just stood there and looked at her stone cold face. I wanted to kill! I sat back down with my face ever more sympathetic than before. She naturally said she was sorry, but I bet shes dumping me for some other guy. Now I wasn't going to mad at her, since she deserved it. But suddenly my stupid short temper flared up in me and I threw the table we were sitting at down. Now if you picture this I am 6'11 and weight 256 lbs. So I am a big guy. I swear you could hear the "stone" table skidding all the way across the floor. It was probably the worst screech ever, plastic on plastic. I stormed out of the Starbucks breaking a glass window when I slammed the door. Apparently they weren't very smart and didn't get those door speed control things that most public doors have. I was so angry I drove out of there like a mad man. Going almost 85 in a 30 zone. Now I went home and did what any 13-year old girl would do. Sit up in my bedroom and eat ice cream while watching sad movies. Then my brother came home from work. He came up stairs to find me in my boxers watching "Days of our lives." He asked me what was wrong and told him the whole story. Now he is angry too, but I don't want him to be as it isn't her fault she isn't in to me anymore, I bet it was my fault, I probably did something. But if you read this Kyleigh... I'm sorry if I did anything and I hope that we can try our relationship again with no bounds or hard feelings this time.
Now I am left alone in my room heart broken writing long articles that just seem to kill my day and mood. Even though it is a nice day, blue sky, 75 degrees, I lock myself in my room setting the room temperature to 50 degrees and forcing myself under the sheets.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@spicysweetie21 (2573)
• United States
31 May 09
Im sorry to hear that you are in so much pain, but if she is willing to leave you for someone else, then you can do better than her.....i know it hurts but, and i know its a total cliche, but there are TONS of other girls out there, this may seem like the end of the world but its actual a new beggining where you can be able to find someone thats going to fully appreciate and love you and be faithful to you in all ways, it hurts i know but i can promise you that it will get better
@mama_bear (1118)
• Canada
12 Jun 09
awwww, i am so sorry about that, i hope that you are feeling better now. life can be bleak after a breakup. mine was about a year and a half ago and i am still feeling the pinch, it' like my heart was put into a blender, now i guard the jar that contains my pureed heart jealously. i know right now it still probably feels like your still beating heart was ripped out of your chest and the blood is pooling at your feet. trust me the scab will heal, you will have an ugly keloid scar but you will heal. you sort of learn to start to live with the pain. i know betrayal too, it happened to me, same guy and yet here i am a long while later still bitter that his current female is getting the better version of him that i helped to create, anyways i digress, i know it does not help to say there are plenty others out there because at this point in your life that does not seem possible. i should also warn you that your beloved will become saintlike in the coming weeks, ignore these thoughts. bear in mind that your brain will serve to torture you with only the good memories. at the risk of being negative, do not give in to the impulse to reminisce, only remember the bad. trust me it helps, then maybe your mind will fool your heart into thinking that the breakup was a blessing. i will not say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all because in this case this is one of those stupid sayings like 'you can't have you cake and eat it too' . WTF if i have the cake then why can't i eat it, arrrgh i digress again. at some point you shall wish that you had never fallen in love in the first place, and think that you shall never fall in love again. i'm sorry again this is a fallacy, you know that after the mourning period, well there is a chance that some florence nightingale who has been aiding you by being a good friend and listener while they listen to you moan and cry about the lost love. well she might end up being trustworthy enough to get to see your poor, wounded battle scarred heart.
in the meantime, just know this, you will get through it, it may not seem like it now but you will. also the best revenge is being awesome and when you bump into here pretend to be okay, fake it till you make it bro. nothing pisses a woman more than this, knowing that she has not caused that much damage. and of course hanging with and befriending hot females, this irks women too. it is petty yes but the revenge will enpower you a little. new, you know i wish i had seen your post soon because i fortnight has gone by, but well get a 12 step buddy like a sponsor. how will it work you ask, well this sponsor is the one that you call when you want to do something stupid like call "her" when you are feeling sad so that you can beg for her to come back, this is not cool it may seem like a good idea at the time, trust me it is not. get that buddy man, get that buddy.
if by some chance your situation has changed then please disregard this rather long message. good luck man, i'm currently wondering where feelings go to die.
