What is your relationship with your children like?

My son is 16 years old. My son and I are very open with each other......he can talk to me about anything, and does just that!!LOL We feel 'comfortable' around each other. I'm his friend AND his mother. I think it's great!!

As a parent, I think that it is important that you encourage and support your children in all the good things they do and that it is OK to fail but not to give up. Even when they make mistakes or do wrong a parent should loving show them the error of their ways, but always assure them that their love for them is unconditional. You may not always like what they do, or the choices they make, but it doesn't alter the love you have for them. However, until they are adults, to me the role of a parent is just that, a parent. Kids need rules, whether they know or like it or not, and it is up to the parent to make them uphold those rules and guide them in being respectful, kind toward others, law abiding and all those things. After they become adults, and in my opinion only then, can the "friednship" develop.

I grew up like you did. When I had my children, I made a great effort to break that. I am still working on that 25 years later. It is hard to break old habits but every day gets closer to my goal. I find that I have made many mistakes with my children but it is good to ask for forgiveness and move on. We are not perfect and neither are our children. I try to pray every day that God would help me in every area. Life just gets better and better. I have been asked if my child is my sister. That is a real compliment. We disagree but we also agree. It is not easy to wrestle with self esteem issues. My parents have been gone for well over ten years. I remember being so joyful when we moved into our present home because it was the first place that I lived that my mother did not critique. By that time she had been passed away. What a shame that we could not share joyfully. I try to celebrate what my parents were and work on the parts of me that need healing and uplifting. I like to speak blessing about me and my future even if my parents did not. I am glad that we all have a choice in the end and we are not bound by anything negative no matter where it came from. While encouraging words would have been something I would have wanted beyond anything growing up, it was the lack of them that caused me to be diligent with my child. I am a human being not a human doing! I do not base my self worth on my accomplishments (although they can give joy at times they can also bring sorrow at other times), but that I am loved by God and therefore I can love others. Love never fails and never gives up. I send that love to you that you may know and feel that you are a unique individual created in the image of God and loved beyond your comprehension. Once you can grasp that, you will be able to let that flow from you to others and there is beauty in everything. I think that if you could see deep into your parent's hearts, you would see why they are critical and also realize that there is something in their past that has made them that way. So many times if a person has been hurt, they put up a wall to protect themselves. This wall also keeps them from being able to freely love.

I encourage my children in all that they do and teach them that they can do anything they put their heart to. To me it is not how "good" they are at a sport that matters, it is how hard they try. So no matter if the sit on the bench, miss the ball, or do not quite get the dance step right. I will be there the entire time telling them that I am proud of them for giving i their all. I tell them they can in fact do anything, be anything they want to be.

The best think to do is keep in touch with them as a brother or sister to your kids is so wonderful. I saw some great drama, like in Japanese the 1 Liter of Tears (title). They are so good to their children and love and support them. Latter Day Saints or Mormon families are good, too. Cos parents and children relationship is awesome like their "Family Home Evening Program" A short program of singing hymns, praying to God, showing talents, games, tacked and solved problems in the family, caring and eating snack with great enjoyment. What an amazing program they had. Some parent bring their children outside like in picnic grounds, park, zoo, movies, restaurant and malls. Wholesome things and praying together. Families that prays together stays together.