Relationships
By roc080
@roc080 (56)
India
May 31, 2009 10:43pm CST
Its been long that I didn't login in mylot, but i went through some tough times here, I just wanted to khow your views, "How do you break a relation", and what do you do if you can't let go of it.
3 responses
@Hurray (64)
• Canada
1 Jun 09
Hi Roc;
That's a rough spot. It is hard to discuss when it's too fresh. Too much emotion.
I've been divorced twice. I'll tell you what will mend your heart and your mind and soothe your emotions and revitelize your spirit: Honesty.
Honesty toward yourself.
Take a sheet of paper. Make 2 colums. You and your ex.
On this paper, write down all of what you like in life. Anything and everything.
On the next column, write what your ex likes.
Compare.
Take another sheet of paper. Make 2 colums. You and your ex.
In one column, write down what you don't like, what you dislike, what you can't stand.
On the next column, write what it is your ex doesn't like, dislike, etc.
Compare.
If you're not sure, call and ask. Do not make any fuss. Just tell that you're doing this to help yourself in the process. Ask the answer comes not as to please you or spare you but as it is for the person your ex).
You might need a few days or even a few weeks of listing these things. Take a look a it more than once.
Meanwhile, remove anything at your place that reminds you of the person. Change the furniture around. Cover the sofa. Change the drapes. Paint a room or two a different color.
Take a lot of walks making sure you lookout at the world and at people.
Then you can really see in a more objective way if you two were really "an item" or not. If you were and things turned sour, please visit this site: volunteerministers.org - You will feel so much better after you understand what it is all about.
On the right of their landing page, you will see a menu: About marriage, relationships and many others. You will find good solutions there.
Best,
Hurray
@roc080 (56)
• India
1 Jun 09
thanks hurray for your wonderful response, I haven't tried that out.
But to be frank i m in shambles now, i don't know wat to do, can't get her out of my mind, i don't how long can i go more, thanks nyways for ur response
i hope if i gather enough courage for another relationship than i could use ur technique for a better relationship perhaps.
@Hurray (64)
• Canada
3 Jun 09
Roc:You need to mend and make peace with yourself and this other person. Otherwise it will be as I have heard this expression: You'll have too much luggage for the next relationship to be healthy.
By the sound of it, start with the walks. Lots of them. And get yourself busy. Force yourself to be. Be creative. Wash your place, walls and all. Change the furniture around. Doesn't matter if you're crying in the process or throw something across the room. Just make one little project and bring it to an end. Than, enjoy the results and the fact that you took yourself up by the bootstraps.
Then one other little project that will give you a sense of positive accomplishment.
You need to un-glue from looking inside. Those little tricks will help. Go to that website I gave you earlier.
You want to grow out of this. Only knowledge and understanding will help achieve this.
Good luck.
Hurray
