I'm such a jerk...

India
June 1, 2009 11:41am CST
We've been dating now for 22 months. We are gonna have our 2nd anniversary in just 2 months. And I haven't even given her a ring yet. Ok, I'm planning to get a ring at this anniversary. But the catch here is that she likes shopping and clothes and stuff like that more. And if I give her a ring, my budget will be, you know, not so, er... definable actually. So help me out friends, I wanna give her a ring and she wants something else (I ain't saying she wouldn't like a ring, but she'd be happier if we shopped for her)... What do i do ???
4 responses
Phyrre
@phyrre (2317)
• United States
1 Jun 09
You could always get her a promise ring. I always thought that was a pretty romantic gesture. It's a low-budget ring and then let her know the time-frame in which you plan to really propose. My cousin's fiance gave her a promise ring at 18 and told her he would propose when she turned 21 so she had plenty of time to think it over. That way you can get her the ring you want that comes with a promise of marriage AND it doesn't break your budget so you can take her shopping. ^_^ Even better, when you take her shopping you could ask her opinion of engagement rings to see what kind she likes and what her taste is so you're more informed when you do decide to get one. :)
1 person likes this
pratyushtamhankar
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
2 Jun 09
Its a great idea, Thanks !!! But to tell you honestly, I've never heard of a promise ring before. Maybe its not that famous in this part of the world. I'll check up in archies and such other global gift shops if I could get one. According to your description of it, I can say that it surely will make things interesting though. Thanks a lot for your response. Really means a lot to me...
Phyrre
@phyrre (2317)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Hmm...maybe it's not popular there. I live in the United States and I know a lot of people that go that route. :) But if you want to know more about promise rings, you can find some information about them here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-engagement_ring Basically, anything could just about pass for a promise ring, depending on both of your tastes. Oh, and I want to mention that I don't think you're a jerk for not proposing yet. A lot of people take time to date before getting married. My friend has been dating for 6 years and they have a daughter together and he hasn't proposed to her yet (she wants to, he wants to wait a little longer because he has commitment issues). But at least you're WANTING to make that commitment, which is a good sign. ^_^ Best of luck!
1 person likes this
pratyushtamhankar
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
2 Jun 09
Oh ! that's so nice !!! Thank you, thanks a lot for that. Now I can search this pre-engagement ring (WOW !!!). And if I don't get it, I can get it made as I know the concept now. Thanks a lot... Ya and the promise ring is a better idea too, cause its time (at least 5 more years) till we marry, I've to make a career first (or her parents won't allow )... Please pray for me, I love her a lot. And I don't wanna lose her for anything...
dookie03
@dookie03 (578)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Well i'd say let her shop for her ring but keep it in a reasonable amount. Unless of course it's an engagement ring, you pick that out yourself. You'll feel much better about it plus you know what you can afford and what you can't. Either that or get the ring give it to her and then bring her on a shopping spree of her liking.
1 person likes this
pratyushtamhankar
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
2 Jun 09
Hmmmm.... You have a point there my friend. No it ain't an engagement ring. But its gonna be like a symbol of my love . Thank you very much for your response.
Jezebella
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
1 Jun 09
From a girl's perspective I would be happy no matter what my man does. If he gives me a ring I would appreciate the fact that he got me a ring and would not want him to spend any more money on me. I would hope that she appreciates the fact that you wanna get her a ring.
1 person likes this
pratyushtamhankar
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
2 Jun 09
She would surely appreciate the ring and just like you she too wouldn't like me spending more. But I know her and I feel that she would love shopping more than the ring. Of course the ring has its own special place. Its like this, she has no idea about the ring so she's interested in shopping. And the whole ring idea is mine. She ain't expecting the ring at all. I wanna give her, as I said its been two years since our relationship and I've started feeling like a jerk for not giving her a ring. I don't know, but the ring is that special for me. Thank you for your response...
CJgirly
@CJgirly (94)
• United States
1 Jun 09
Hello Pratyushtamhankar. While I don't have an answer on what you should do, I just wanted to say, I don't think you're a jerk at all. At least you are considering/wanting to get her a ring. I was with my ex boyfriend for 10 years, not only did he never buy me a ring, we never even celebrated an anniversary. (not by my choice) I wanted to celebrate them, and would've loved to have gotten a ring, so I just wanted to say I think it's sweet that you are thinking of her. Good luck to you both!
1 person likes this
pratyushtamhankar
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
2 Jun 09
Oh, I'm sorry, maybe God has something much better in store for you. I just hope I can get that ring for her as a complete surprise... Thank you very much for your response and a special thanks for the good luck. Take care...