I Don't Know What To Do?
By Payout
@payout (3794)
United States
June 2, 2009 9:15am CST
My Boyfriend Went out with his Friends on Sunday. We both agree to come back at 2:00 am .. In the end he ends up coming back at nearly 7:00 am.. HE told me his friends mother said she wasn't going to let her daughter drive none of them to leave.
He Promise me he will call if anything happens, Never did so I was worry n mad that the same time.
Then I never fell asleep and neither did he really.. Later on his friends text my phone and says Oh you want to go to the movies and does your BF want to come.. My Boyfriend said okay I said huh..? u just came back and u just said you was tired and don't want to spend money.
Now he just changes his mind completely... His Friend is Gay BTW. He just met him knew him less then a month.
My Boyfriend didn't want me to go because it was his friends when his friend was the one that invited me.? He either doesn't want to have the same friends or just doesn't want me chill with them his friend might like me or something I don't know.
I let him go out to spend time with his friends and this what happen. I believed and I forgave him in the end. but I don't know what to do.
He thinks we spend too much time with each other. That we need to hang out with our own friends. His sister said oh Every time I see u joel you and Boyfriend are always with each other. She thinks that's not good. She see her Boyfriend like 1 hour and sometimes not everyday.
I said okay so.. thats there relationship not ours..? I ask him do you think we spend too much time with each other he says Yes. I said oh.. I think he just wants to go to his friends house or a bar with them. I don't Know..
anymore..
To me things was so different when we first was together.. Like he loved and wanted to spend time with me.. Just about Us.. no one else..
[b]What Should I do..?
Should I let him still chill with his friends?
Go Drink?
Give him a time to come back? What Happens if he breaks it?
Should I let him still chill with his Gay Friend?
Your Opinion Matters.[/b].
1 person likes this
5 responses
@adcock500 (46)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I feel what you are saying, I understand, but at the same time, you guys are not married. If this guy say he was going to call than, he should have called. He forgot, right! I don't understand why he didn't won't you to go with them. Really, you should just do the same thing he is doing to you. Have your friends that you go out with, and you have some fun. When you go out don't think about him unless he call to talk to you. Don't do anything crazy like go have fun with his friends behind his back or anything like that. Just do the same thing that he is doing to you, back to him. Maybe, than he will see how it feels. Good luck, everything will work out.
1 person likes this
@payout (3794)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I will, Im going out with my friends to go blowing I don't drink really.. Never try it.. so IM a little weird and afraid of my actions when I get drunk or w.e in time. But yeah..
One time I went to my grandmothers Birthday party and I came home at 10pm and he snap.. I left my phone on the bed at out apartment because he didn't have a phone at the time and I was with my sister so I just left my phone so he can keep in touch with me. I don't want him to get worry.
But I let him stay out and he never calls.. This happen more then once.. But he got a phone yesterday and lets see what happens now.
@payout (3794)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I think drinking is a waste of time.. Why drink because once your drunk your not going to remember what happen from that point on till you go back to normal. So it's like going to sleep. Life is too short to sleep all the time. Sleeping like 12 or more hours.
But yeah.. Things will work out.. he just says oh I'm 22 years old I'm still young and I want to live life. Also that he hasn't had friends in such a long time. So I guess he wants to take advantage go time and throw his friends in the time what we have for each other.
He works, I go to school, we spend 8+ hours doing that. I think thats a lot of time apart. I guess not to him. He must want a lot of time apart. I say things like oh, babe who are texting and stuff like that.
Yesterday his "Gay friend" called and when he was on the phone with him he doesn't want to talk to him around me. It's like he has to go to another room. I said why you keep on walking away.. ? He said I'm talking to my friend I said, well what can't you say to your friend that you can't say on front of me.? He said nothing that he likes some privacy when he is on the phone. I just got upset.
@adcock500 (46)
• United States
2 Jun 09
You don't have to drink, I don't drink either, and I'm 35. It just wasn't one of those things I like to do. Good that he have a phone, and yes you can see what is about to happen. I really hope things work out for you and your boyfriend.
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I don't think his friend being gay has anything to do with anything unless you are suspecting your boyfriend is having feelings towards him. He has been very inconsiderate towards you that is for sure. He should have called to let you know he was alright, when he stayed out all night. I would be concerned that he did not want you to go out with him and his friends after he spent the entire night out with his friends. I would give him a couple more weeks and see if this pattern continues. If he continues to behave like this and continues to behave like he is single then perhaps he should be.
1 person likes this
@payout (3794)
• United States
2 Jun 09
He was drinking and then he comes home we both fell asleep then we wake up because his sister needed a favor then later on his friend texts him and says come to the movies and bring your Boyfriend too. First he wanted me to go then he didn't Because I don't know he told me that he wants to have his own friends. I was concern I wouldn't care if he was friends with my friends.. I just want to know what type of friends he has.. ? Get to know them. then later on in time we can agree who is a good influence. But I don't think he would want that. We both are gay and I think he might think his gay friend might like me or.. Afraid his friend might like me so he doesn't want us to talk or meet really. I don't KNow.. it's weird..
I ask him is this going to become a Habit of yours going out with your friends all the time..? He said no.
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
3 Jun 09
OK, now I understand the concern about his friend being gay. I honestly believe that if someone is in a relationship that he or she want to be for a long term that he or she would want their boyfriend or girlfriend to know their friends and family. That is part of being in a relationship. If he keeps it all seperate then I don't see how it could work out in the long run.
@hairypits (294)
•
3 Jun 09
Got to ask...how old are you?
You seem like you are trying to control what he does. He is right, spend time with your friends and let him spend time with his friends. You aren't married, you are dating so keep it like that. Maybe see each other 2 or 3 times a week for a few hours and keep it simple. You got on great when you first got together because you liked who he was and he liked who you were. Don't try and change that!!
1 person likes this
@payout (3794)
• United States
3 Jun 09
18, :)
He told that I was a little controlling and I have a little bite of jealousy Problems. To be honest he spends time with me everyday. Sometimes it's just 45 minutes maybe a hour or 2 sometimes 8 hours n then we go to sleep. BUt thanks you gave me great Advice..
I think it's me and not him.. Because when we first met things seem good perfect. I think I'm the one slowly changing. I need to change.. And fix my self the way I use to be Love him and care about him trust him. Always be that same person. Thanks a lot.
@luvandpower (2048)
• United States
2 Jun 09
From a guys point of view, I believe that everyone needs their own " time" with others. I also believe that you do not have to have the same friends, however, the same friends to help out a lot in relationships.
What I would suggest is to let this continue for a while, then become friends with one of his friends. Then just start asking casual questions to the friend about your boyfriend. Like " So did you and Joel enjoy the movie tonight? " and just make a decision from the friends answer/reaction.
Hope this helps,
-Luvandpower
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I agree with you luvandpower. SOmetimes we all need our own time with friends and what not, but his friend invited her. That would give me the idea that his friend wants to met me and get to know me as well. ure I wouldn't invade his personal time with friends or anything. But a guy needs guy time with friends.
1 person likes this
@xoxcharityxox (567)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I think you may have a serious problem. In my experience if a guy doesn't come home until seven in the morning and doesn't call that's a really bad sign. I'm not saying it's definate or anything, but it just doesn't sound right. I think everybody needs to have thier own personal lives and you shouldn't be concerned about him going with friends. I'd just watch out if you ask to go and he always says no. If you spend too much time together things will burn out fast, but don't get in a situation where you feel completely left out or possibly lied to.
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