Tips on making it lasts

@khayshenz (1384)
United States
June 2, 2009 11:55pm CST
I've read tons of articles on cosmo, psychology today, etc. Relationship mags and websites have them all the time - but I want to hear it from real people like you who have been married 5,10,15,20,25,30,etc. Years? HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE LAST? I think one thing that I'm afraid of is not making it last with whomever I marry. I'm a romantic at heart - I do believe that we are meant to be with a special someone whom we will love for the rest of our lives. That no matter how hard it must be to make the relationship work - that I will grit my teeth and do everything in my power to make it work. Relationships are a lot of work (I believe that), but aren't there ways to "work smarter" when it comes to relationships? How do you make it last?
1 person likes this
1 response
@caver1 (1762)
• United States
4 Jun 09
One thing I remind myself of is that love in not just a feeling, it is a choice. I have made a commitment to love my husband. So even if somedays things are bad between us and I don't feel loving toward him or don't even like him. I must continue to do loving acts. I still speak to him, cook dinner and do the laundry. I will discuss the problems to try to work things out, but I don't yell and scream even if I feel like it. I treat him with the same respect I want him to show to me. We have been married 24 years on June 22.
1 person likes this
@Maryam27 (411)
• Pakistan
4 Jun 09
Wow that's great caver. I feel the same but I am not married yet but may Allah give me the strength and the guts to be a good wife to my husband. But don't your husband take you and your acts for granted then? Does he repeats his mistakes often because you tend to forgive and forget and give him everything as you did before? It hurts me bad when I keep on ignoring the bad things and the other person just don't seem to notice and care about it. I would love to hear your advice on it.
@caver1 (1762)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I'm sure we both take each other for granted at times. The truth is that he has to put up with things from me as well. It is a two way street, with each of us giving. I try not to stay angry and try to continue to show love even when I am angry. I believe this is what God wants me to do.
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
7 Jun 09
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! I do believe that your husband is one lucky man! I do think that in these day and age, not a lot of people are willing to put the hard work and commitment that is required of relationships. I hope he doesn't take you for granted - and truly appreciate the things that you do to keep the relationship intact. And in the same token that you appreciate him! Cheers. Thanks for the tip - will keep it in mind when I cross that bridge.